Do people really spend £300 on their kids console

[Arren12]

Hi

My dd who is 8 has been asking for a console for ages and ages now. We have never owned anything like that. She's autistic and has never played with toys so we are limited to what we can get her for Xmas. I thought I'd look at getting a console of some sort but I'm gobsmacked at the price.

Most of her friends at school have had them for ages so obviously people must spend this but its seems so excessive.

We are by no means rich but we are not struggling for money. We are quite comfortable. Its just I feel its such a lot and think about what else that money could go on.

As I say my dd does not play in the traditional sense and spends all her time doing arts and crafts. We have every art and craft thing you can imagine so can't get her any more of that really. This seemed ideal but its way more than I'd normally like to spend on each child.

What do others do? Is it that people do spend £300 on Xmas gifts or is it purely seen as a one off big purchase.

The games are also so expensive.

Do most children have a console.

I feel a bit like I'm a bad mum because dd seems one of the only children in her class not to game. This was evident in a recent homework assignment.

Aibu to be shocked that parents are spending this and wondering how most afford it or feel comfortable with it.

Interesting!

My dd (early teens) has never been that much into gaming. She has payed some games occasionally with friends but these have all been played on an iPad or a laptop. She has never wanted a console. I don’t think all her friends have them - and these are all comfortably off families so it’s nothing to do with cost.

We got a switch when our DDs were 7 & 11, we also did it as a family present so no-one owns it. It is in our living room. At first we just did fun multi player games, Mario Party, Mario Kart. In the last year or so our youngest now 9, started playing Zelda BOTW, Mario Oddesey, etc, her older sister choses to game on the PC so we rarely have a time when they squabble over it. We don't buy new games very regularly they usually wait for a birthday or Christmas.

Yoshi is a great game for younger kids, also Kirby and Splatoon. We are lucky we can get games from our local library to try them out before we buy.

We let the 9 yo have one hr a day to play and a bit longer on weekends. Both kids choose gaming over TV for screentime here.

@RedDeadRoach

Gaming consoles are terrible. You will destroy your child by getting them one.

Are you joking?

I grew up with games consoles and last time i checked it didn't destroy me. Don't be so dramatic.

Exactly, I had consoles growing up and pretty much not destroyed, I still play them now. It’s actually a pretty good stress release.

Yes, we do.

I also had to throw out all my planned rules about screens and electronics limits once I had a dd with autism.

One thing to remember this is MN where many will deny spending £££ on their kids for Christmas but the kids still have access to consoles because it's Dads, or the kid got it with Birthday money, it was on offer when they bought a phone, etc etc.

Ask around what consoles you DDs friends are playing then decide on the most common one.

It’s the addictiveness and the sheer amount of time some spend on them (to the exclusion of everything else) that is a problem. And the parents who let little kids play 18’s. a limited time can be fine and the slightly awkward kids can find socialising easier over the console. It’s not a very popular thing with girls though so I don’t think she will be socially excluded at all for not having one. The Christmas presents get more expensive as they get older!

I got my two a PS4 to share a few years ago now, they've not been that bothered with it though. I always used to think other people spent a lot more than I did, but it's what you can afford and what your children get used to. It's definitely not worth getting into debt for.
Now we are a bit better off but they never ask for anything and I am always struggling for ideas, I would probably spend £300 each if it was something they really wanted, but not £300 each just for the sake of it.

It’s fine to parent how you want without bowing to peer pressure.

You can buy them cheaper if they’re not new. Places like CEX still offer warrantees so are a good idea.

uk.webuy.com/search?categoryIds=1002&categoryName=playstation4-consoles

I am not keen on them, but then again I don’t actually own a TV so I am definitely not the person to be asking about technology and being cool/up to date.

I have no interest in gaming at all, but when ds wanted to get an Xbox one we said he could use his 12th birthday money/savings as this was during the first lockdown and he wanted to chat to friends and play with them.
He got one for £50 from eBay with some games.He has a paper round now so uses some of his earnings to pay for a game pass and headset.
As none of the rest of the family are interested we couldn't justify spending £££ on all the kit and games. He pays for it bar a few games he really wanted for Christmas/birthday and it means a lot to him, more because he funds it himself.
I'm still no fan, but with Covid it's been another way to socialise and play with friends- he rarely plays alone and it's not in his bedroom either.

So no I don't think you need to spend a fortune - second hand is more than adequate, they're easy to come by and to me it's just another phase. It's all very much a part of their world now and we can't ignore it- I had a Sinclair Spectrum(showing my age!) at his age and learnt a lot. There are pros and cons, but parents have always worried about whatever their teens are into whether it's watching too much TV, pop music, or gaming. We all like a bit of downtime it's just what some people prefer to do to escape - rather than read trashy magazines or spend time on MN!

Our kids started off playing on our console when they were about 5-6... Very basic games eg kart racing. It really helped with my autistic/dyspraxia kiddo's fine motor skills and given my adhd/dyslexia child focusing skills. As the kids got older they played games like Minecraft and Animal Crossing which are fabulous for kids and adults. However, the kids didn't have their own consoles until they were 16+. Until then we had family consoles downstairs that everyone used, so they weren't given as a Christmas present. You can get a cheaper digital Xbox series S for under £250 that will play all the latest games but you'll also need an online membership to get the most out of it. Game Pass is their great subscription service with hundreds of free games included (a bit like Netflix for games). PlayStation 5 consoles are harder to come by and more expensive, and again there's an online membership to play some games but it's just £49 a year. But it's 100% worth the money to get a console. My kids keep in touch with their friends playing games together. And it's really helped with their special needs.

DD (8) wants one and I thought about getting one for Christmas, was planning to for a while in fact, but honestly she barely has time as it is with school, homework, after-school clubs etc., to do her non-screen hobbies like reading, drawing, writing, having play dates and so on.

I just couldn’t in the end get her something that took more time away from all those hobbies, but didn’t really give anything back. I know all the arguments about hand-eye coordination and being tech savvy and so on but we all know that gaming is basically a waste of time - you don’t even learn to design games unless you can learn the coding, so it isn’t like it teaches you tech skills. You just learn to play

@MissMaple82

Gaming consoles are terrible. You will destroy your child by getting them one.

What a lot of nonsense.

Gaming and consoles have been a thing since the 1970s, I used to think the 80s but was corrected by a fellow mumsneter.
Pong, Atari, Spectrum, Commodore, Acorn, Sega, Nintendo, PS, XBox have all been things - are you trying to say child who's ever owned a console is destroyed?

BTW phones and MN aren't much different!

Sorry posted too soon! You just learn to play the game; if you want transferable skills there are better ways of developing them. Plus only one of DD’s close friends has a console - lots don’t, so she isn’t suffering socially as a result!

I’m sure I might have to get one at some point, but I’d rather she didn’t get swept into gaming now when at her age she currently enjoys so many non-screen things. My sibling’s kids basically gave up all their hobbies and sports around the ages of 9-10 just to do gaming all the time which is rather sad tbh.

It’s the addictiveness and the sheer amount of time some spend on them (to the exclusion of everything else) that is a problem

That’s it in a nutshell.

We were specifically advised by a clinician to allow our DC with ASD access to consoles to game. They have perhaps 45 mins a day and we have only ever bought secondhand up to a max of around £50 and they have been very happy with this. You can buy an immaculate DSLite for that on eBay and you don't worry if it gets lost of broken.

Ds had use of ours, we now have 2 as dh happened to be in tescos when he had some tech thing at work and was either going in super early or coming home from working all night and it was black Friday and picked one up for £235, so it may be worth looking for bfriday deals, also second hand it worth a shot.

BTW phones and MN aren't much different!

Exactly - and exactly why I don’t want my Dd gaming! I feel like my adult life revolves around an unhealthy obsessive relationship with little computer screens - both work and online - and I’d be better off doing less of it! And if DD is going to end up the same way as an adult - it’s not like the working world is looking like it’s going to get better on the work/life/screen balance any time soon - then i want her to experience the world without constant screens for as long as she can.

@Bananabrush

I feel the same and my kids don’t have them. I think the ‘everyone else is doing it’ argument is a terrible one. Decide for yourself if it’s a good idea and if you think it’s not, explain to your kids that we don’t always have to follow the crowd. They might not like it at the time but they will see that you stick to your values even when that’s tough.

My main objections are 1. Gaming is a bit of a waste of time 2. It teaches kids a bad lesson to be given hugely expensive kit. They learn to be consumers with no sense of the value of money. If my 15 year old wants to get a part-time job and buy himself an Xbox, that’s fine.

I agree with this Bananabrush

We gave in and bought a PS4 around Lockdown because DS was so isolated from friends.

It causes such arguments. I agree it's such a waste of time. None of the kids can play together anymore because they all play on different devices that don't connect with each other.

I think it teaches them to think £300 is a small amount of money. Consumerism mentality definitely.

Also OP, my child has a a neurodisability that means his brain is probably a bit autistic. Sorry that's probably not a PC thing to say. But he gets very obsessed with things and can't let go. I think computer games are one of the worst things for him and we have to be so strict.

I wish we'd never bothered buying one.

I'd buy them second hand

We normally do one really expensive gift every year and then 6 or 7 smaller presents. This year for example the kids Christmas present was combined with last years and we bought them a pony they will get smaller presents to open and Santa . The eldest has an iPad and My husband has a ps2 3 and 4 yes technology is expensive to purchase but it’s the enjoyment afterwards for many years. At the end of the day If it’s really what she wants and will use it every day it will be worth every penny

My kids don’t have games consoles or anything like. I agree they’re very expensive and not really my cup of tea since I’m not a fan of video games overall.

But my big worry would be the price. It’s such an expensive item and as your dd hasn’t had one before I’d be worried she’ll quickly lose interest in it. It would be better if she could try out playing one somewhere else beforehand then you’ll have a better idea if it will be money well spent.

We got a Switch as a family present using Christmas money from parents/ PILs / grandparents and clubbing together. IMO this is better as we share.
In my experience, the Switch is brilliant for sharing and there are tons of multiplayer games. Get the family online membership for about £30 for the year and you can play online on most games (it's limited actual communication with those you don't know (beyond making your avatar say something like "Good look everyone!") but it's fun on eg. Mario Kart because you can play people from all over the world. We also love Animal Crossing, 51 worldwide games, Monopoly etc. Loads of play value.

@FluentlyExasperatedMadam

I'd buy them second hand

Yeah this might be an option depending on the console. You need to watch out for getting the right one though don’t you as some games only work on the newer models. I’m afraid I’m not so up to date but I believe that’s the case.