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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do people really spend £300 on their kids console

398 replies

Arren12 · 21/11/2021 20:49

Hi

My dd who is 8 has been asking for a console for ages and ages now. We have never owned anything like that. She's autistic and has never played with toys so we are limited to what we can get her for Xmas. I thought I'd look at getting a console of some sort but I'm gobsmacked at the price.

Most of her friends at school have had them for ages so obviously people must spend this but its seems so excessive.

We are by no means rich but we are not struggling for money. We are quite comfortable. Its just I feel its such a lot and think about what else that money could go on.

As I say my dd does not play in the traditional sense and spends all her time doing arts and crafts. We have every art and craft thing you can imagine so can't get her any more of that really. This seemed ideal but its way more than I'd normally like to spend on each child.

What do others do? Is it that people do spend £300 on Xmas gifts or is it purely seen as a one off big purchase.

The games are also so expensive.

Do most children have a console.

I feel a bit like I'm a bad mum because dd seems one of the only children in her class not to game. This was evident in a recent homework assignment.

Aibu to be shocked that parents are spending this and wondering how most afford it or feel comfortable with it.

OP posts:
Tobchette · 21/11/2021 22:17

Thought I would share a story about consoles before I head to bed.

My parents took in foster kids and it was always turbulent when they arrived and relations were always strained. Some really shit times.

They were also strongly against consoles and we asked for one for years and were always told no way and got the lecture on the value of money etc.

Then one day we took in twins and they showed up with their console and we were allowed to plug it in. There was an instant bond with us all overnight. We played it all together every day for weeks while they were there.

When they left, my parents went straight out and bought a console and several games. Those games were played by so many children over the years. It was like a welcome ceremony into the family - here's your room and here's your controller. It created bonds that would have never existed.

I had a super big row with a sibling recently. We're all in our 30s now. We didn't speak for 4 months. Then one day I saw they were online and invited them for a game. We didn't speak, but we had a race. Then the next weekend we had two races, and so on. Now we're meeting for a coffee in person to talk things through.

Gaming can build bonds and be healing, especially for kids going through a hard time. It can be a way for kids to connect despite having different personalities and backgrounds. It changed the dynamics in our home growing up for the better. Things were still super shit at times but there was a way we could build a connection in a disjointed world. For a child with trauma or ASD that can be invaluable.

HanSB · 21/11/2021 22:20

The switch has just had a new model release and I noticed there are people upgrading and selling the older model on FB market place so you could find one cheaper there. The games are expensive but family generally ask to buy one at birthdays and Christmas. I would check she actually enjoys playing on one first (maybe at a play date she can try her friends?) but I think it’s the right age for a Switch and she can feel included in conversations about it etc.

Ghoulette · 21/11/2021 22:21

@Bananabrush

I feel the same and my kids don’t have them. I think the ‘everyone else is doing it’ argument is a terrible one. Decide for yourself if it’s a good idea and if you think it’s not, explain to your kids that we don’t always have to follow the crowd. They might not like it at the time but they will see that you stick to your values even when that’s tough.

My main objections are 1. Gaming is a bit of a waste of time 2. It teaches kids a bad lesson to be given hugely expensive kit. They learn to be consumers with no sense of the value of money. If my 15 year old wants to get a part-time job and buy himself an Xbox, that’s fine.

Gaming is a bit of a waste of time

I always say this, but so is watching shit on TV and everyone else seems to feel that's a completely productive thing to do in the evening. Not sure why games get a bad rep when people waste time watching soaps.

There are some brilliant games with amazing storylines in them that are incredibly educational at the same time, far more educational than watching terrible actors portray affairs or some z lister skate about an ice rink.

Bettybantz · 21/11/2021 22:22

I think Nintendo Switch is the best console for age 8, and they have been out a while now. You should be able to pick one up second hand.

gogohm · 21/11/2021 22:23

Exh always had PlayStations and we bought a wii when they were small. A family machine makes more sense than one per child if you have more than one

littlepieces · 21/11/2021 22:23

Yes they're really expensive, and I'm surprised they seem to have become standard in most family homes.

I remember me and my siblings thinking it was a massive treat and we were SO lucky getting the original PlayStation for Christmas one year! And one of my friends had a Game Boy colour with all the Pokemon games and Zelda and everyone was in awe! But now consoles are just another expected gadget?

However I do think they're great. A lot of games require logic and puzzle solving and helps kids with computer skills. Who knows, maybe you'd enjoy playing too? It's something you could play together.

reluctantbrit · 21/11/2021 22:24

DD is 14 and was never interested in it, neither were her friends. So I think the "social disadvantage" really depends with whom your child hangs out with.

I found that children are more interested in it if the parents/dad are gamers. Neither DH nor I are interested so it wasn't something which came up.

Saying that, one year DD got a brand new ipad, it was worth the expense and she had years of use from it. It got only pushed to one side when she got a decent phone with 13. She played on that, but free or cheap app, nothing like a PlayStation could do.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/11/2021 22:24

We got a refurbed PS4 through someone who works for them. I couldn’t believe what they would cost new!

catterycatcat · 21/11/2021 22:25

We started with a second hand Xbox that cost us £60, but then upgraded to an Xbox One as a joint Xmas present for both DS's. They often play remotely with friends, or together in person if they have a play date. I think unless you have kids who aren't interested in having a console, if you can afford one it's a pretty key piece of kit for kids to have both socially and recreationally these days. A huge part of their world is online and we have to accept that.

gogohm · 21/11/2021 22:26

Oh and an alternative is a laptop, my autistic dd has played online from about your dds age, games changed over time of course - she has a European ranking in her preferred game now in the hundreds. It's her main source of socialising, has friends across Europe

ISpyCobraKai · 21/11/2021 22:27

Dd didn't have, or want a big console, but she did want handheld ones and got them with the games

ToooOldForThis · 21/11/2021 22:27

Not enough money and not enough interest here! 14 year old and 10 year old and not a single console. Hasn't hindered them as far as I can see. I've never been asked for one either!

catterycatcat · 21/11/2021 22:27

@Tobchette

Thought I would share a story about consoles before I head to bed.

My parents took in foster kids and it was always turbulent when they arrived and relations were always strained. Some really shit times.

They were also strongly against consoles and we asked for one for years and were always told no way and got the lecture on the value of money etc.

Then one day we took in twins and they showed up with their console and we were allowed to plug it in. There was an instant bond with us all overnight. We played it all together every day for weeks while they were there.

When they left, my parents went straight out and bought a console and several games. Those games were played by so many children over the years. It was like a welcome ceremony into the family - here's your room and here's your controller. It created bonds that would have never existed.

I had a super big row with a sibling recently. We're all in our 30s now. We didn't speak for 4 months. Then one day I saw they were online and invited them for a game. We didn't speak, but we had a race. Then the next weekend we had two races, and so on. Now we're meeting for a coffee in person to talk things through.

Gaming can build bonds and be healing, especially for kids going through a hard time. It can be a way for kids to connect despite having different personalities and backgrounds. It changed the dynamics in our home growing up for the better. Things were still super shit at times but there was a way we could build a connection in a disjointed world. For a child with trauma or ASD that can be invaluable.

What a lovely story Smile
littlepieces · 21/11/2021 22:27

Ps. Like others have mentioned, you can get boxed, good condition consoles second hand. Go to CEX if you're cautious about marketplaces. I'd say Switch could be a good option since a new model just came out and tons of people are selling the still very good previous version. Lots of kid friendly, accessible games and some reasonably priced game options too.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 21/11/2021 22:29

We bought a Switch during lockdown for then 8yo DS, but purposefully didn't make it a birthday or Christmas gift as we didn't want to set a precedent of expensive presents. We introduced it as something for the house and all of us to play, so he's aware he doesn't get to sit on it all day as it is theoretically 'ours'.

DaisyWaldron · 21/11/2021 22:30

No consoles here. My two (15 and 12) are keen gamers, but they use the family pc.

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 21/11/2021 22:35

We've always had the one below as the games are loads cheaper..... We arent massive gamers tho. We currently have the wiiu for Mario maker and a few lego games and a ps4.

If she isn't that into gaming id get her a wii or a ps3. Both have decent games and can be picked up for a few quid and the games for pennies.

Jimjamjong · 21/11/2021 22:36

Yes they are expensive but they are a piece of technology like a mobile phone or a computer.
However one game can be played with for hours and hours so no need to buy lots of games to start with.
DS, 8, really likes Minecraft.

Ghoulette · 21/11/2021 22:37

However I do think they're great. A lot of games require logic and puzzle solving and helps kids with computer skills.

This exactly!!

Merlotthegreat · 21/11/2021 22:37

Not read the whole thread, but our dds (now 12 and 14) have never been interested in gaming, and haven’t been ‘socially disadvantaged’. We bought a switch years ago, ander after the first week or so, novelty wore off and they never play with it. Their friends weren’t into gaming either so that probably had a big impact. They do use the iPad and their phones loads but not for gaming.

Dancingonmoonlight · 21/11/2021 22:37

DD is 14 and was never interested in it, neither were her friends. So I think the "social disadvantage" really depends with whom your child hangs out with

I agree. According to DC ‘everyone’ in the class has one. From chatting to parents, some kids have everything - numerous consoles, VR tech, phones and some have little to nothing. The ones who don’t have electronics are in numerous clubs. The ones who have the most are in nothing.

Tiredalwaystired · 21/11/2021 22:38

@Bessica1970

Yes they’re expensive for the initial outlay but your child will be disadvantaged socially if they’re the only one not able to chat about the popular games
What a load of rubbish!

My kids have a hand me down wii and nothing else. We pick up games occasionally from the charity shop for a quid but they rarely play it. As we have a constant stream of kids here I dont get the feeling they are social pariahs because we haven’t given Nintendo any money recently.

By all means buy one if your child will enjoy it and get value from it but getting one because “everyone else has one” just isn’t the case.

MoiraNotRuby · 21/11/2021 22:43

Its like buying a TV really, you don't get one every Christmas/birthday, its a one off. DS uses his PS for gaming but also just for chatting to his friends, its quite social. And was brilliant in lockdown for them to keep in touch naturally. DD is not bothered about gaming and it was harder for her to keep in touch with friends, face time etc is not as 'casual' as the gaming networking.

hellywelly3 · 21/11/2021 22:48

3 kids all with an Xbox. To be fair out of all the things I bought them it’s the thing that they’ve got the most use out of.

SirenSays · 21/11/2021 22:50

Why don't you pick up an older console? Something like a gamecube has loads of great games and will be much cheaper than a new console.