Why do bullies get accolades and rewards?

[Oncebittentwice]

I have become increasingly appalled as I have got older ( both in work and out) at the way the old boys’ network and patriarchy operate. It seems these people close ranks and shut down when it comes to protecting their own. Just seen a recent example where a man who is a horrible bully to those lower down the chain but heaped with rewards and praise by his seniors. It feels like nothing has changed and so many dreadful men get propelled in to positions of relative power. Those who are bullied just get shushed. Some of these men get decorations from the Queen fgs . I honestly think there has to be a way to call this out that doesn’t involve having to do so to the very people that are prepared to protect each other. If you try then you are blocked. Aibu to think this has to change? It feels as though it permeates so many parts of our lives given that half of the government likely operate in this way. It’s all about who you know it would seem. How do we change this? I’m feeling so incensed by the injustice that this power imbalance is allowed to continue. It’s like if you imagine a ball is power and these men only pass to their favourites

CEO, leadership and shareholders don't give a fuck if it increases profits or shareprice. This is how their success is measured

Becuase if they are bullies they are probably v egotistical, put themselves forward in the best light and probably don't even consider themselves bullies.

That’s life. Agreeable people get paid less. Generally people in positions of power get there by stepping on others.

I don’t think this is confined to ‘privileged’ people.

There are pushy people in all walks of life, who will step on others on their way up, shamelessly take the credit for other people’s efforts, etc.

From experience, such people are usually very keen to tell others how wonderful they are. Self-deprecation is not in their vocabulary!

It’s always worth remembering that so often, people will take you at your own valuation of yourself.

Having worked long enough in jobs that mean I can witness the very successful (especially in business) I now am of the opinion that the ONLY reliable defining factor for success is ego. Those at the top are (in 99% cases) egotistical believers that they are better than those that are not.

I know a female nhs manager who gets anyway with being a bully as she delivers results. So many staff have left because of her. She and senior management know it. Nothing is done. The more this occurs, the more she knows she in untouchable

Thanks for comments- I think there’s a certain brotherhood amongst rich and privileged white men. They close ranks if anyone tries to call them out in my experience. I just wonder if perhaps this is a self serving action on their part too because any investigation of an individual’s behaviour could lead to more widespread allegations aimed at numerous individuals. I agree about these individuals singing their own praises. I just feel extremely frustrated and sad because I have an individual situation at the moment whereby doors are being slammed in my face, fingers in ears and no one is listening to what I’m trying to tell them about the behaviour of one of their own.

Just to add this individual is being lauded for their “ wonderful work”. I have found them to be pompous, cruel, bullying and completely lacking in any empathy.

Obviously I don’t condone bullying or treating people like shit but equally a “false nice” culture can be as toxic in a different way to a results orientated, tough environment. I’ve worked at a company where dissent was discouraged and everyone was treated like superstars just for turning up. It bred a culture of mediocrity and all the good people left as they were fed up covering for low performers, not being allowed to challenge and a complete lack of leadership. But it had a reputation as being lovely to work at and I’m sure many saw it as such as the pressure to perform was very low.

Bullying aside, I think top leadership is a harsh place to be. You’re responsible not just for running a business but also envisaging where it needs to go in future and bringing an entire org with you. Not everyone is going to agree and you’re going to have to insist. That’s why CxO roles are paid so well - they take professional risks every day that many would balk at. It’s not that the CEO wants to fire half the accounts department but they can see that unless they bring in the software the industry is using they can’t survive in 5 years. Maybe that puts them at odds with the head of accounts but it’s the only way to secure the future of the firm for everyone else. So it’s nuanced.

I posted at the same time as @Oncebittentwice so my post is not a reply to her specific case.
In that case, it sounds like there is a specific issue that isn’t being resolved as you would wish. Have you spoken to HR or a trusted senior colleague? You could also consider doing a formal whistleblow if you think it hits that threshold of impropriety. That said, it’s hard to work in such places afterwards.