In thinking its a bit nasty to dump your girlfriend of 4 years this close to xmas

[bogie]

I have just spoken to mil who told me that sil's boyfriend of 4 years has just ended it with her for no aparent reason, apart from i just don't want to go out with you any more.
She is distraught they have been looking to move in together.
ds loves him to bits aswell so god knows how were going to tell him. I'm quite he's a really lovley lad.

YANBU especially as there appears to be no reason.... however we dont always know what is going on behind closed doors as they say.. sorry for your ds i cant imagine how you begin to tell him how old is he??

There's always a reason and never a good time. I've been ditched frm a long term relationship on my birthday before that felt good

he's 2.
The first person's name that ds ever said was his and he talk's about him all the time. Hopfully with all the excitment of xmas and santa we might get away with him not being there but after that he will be so sad when he realises he's not coming back

YABU Maybe she will find the man of her dreams over the festive period or at least have a rebound fling
I would prefer to know myself as soon as my partner did not live a lie until the timing was right iykwim.

From experience of my ex-OH who pretended for months everything was fine, to the point of house hunting, then splitting up, I think no time is ideal & it's never nice, but it's better to know than to live a lie as it were. It was bad that it was so out of the blue, but worse that he'd pretended for so long.

Hope she is able to enjoy some of Christmas despite this

I hope she will too your right though about him not lying i just feel so sorry for her because she really didn't see it coming

YABU If he ditched her the first week in January she may possibly feel that their Christmas had been a sham and worse than she does now. At least she knows.

Sometimes you just can't help the timing of these things. I dumped my long-time (2 years) boyfriend just before he took his final exams at uni. I had intended to hold out until he had finished but soon realised I couldn't live a lie. I felt really shitty but I couldn't change the way I felt.

Drusilla is right it would be far more confusing to be dummped after a "happy" xmas together.

I got dumped on Christmas Eve once - barstard - it was a "I just don't love you anymore phone call". And I'd bought him a really nice watch which went back to the shop quick smart and I spent the proceeds on drrrrink!

Poor SIL but at least she can go and party all Christmas without boyfriend spoiling her fun (always a positive spin on these things!).

'appears to be no reason'???
Sorry but to me 'I don't want to go out with you anymore' is enough - or do you want him to say specifics like 'I don't like your earrings/you snore/you have BO' which ime would be met with a tearful torrent of promises to change accessories/stop snoring/wash more frequently to get him to stay.
No.
'I don't want to go out with you anymore' is enough reason. He probably has someone else that he wants to spend xmas with, or if he's not met someone else he possibly doesn't want his xmas spoilt by having to play doting boyfriend to someone he doesn't want to be with.

xmas and new year is a popular time to split up, as it makes people take stock of their lives
doesn't help the dumpee, though...shame about her little boy
hope they recover soon

'I don't want to go out with you anymore' certainly is enough reason. But after 4 years and plans to move in together surely she deserves a bit more explanation that that!!!! Although maybe she has - you just might not know.

Agree its a shit time but no time is good and agree with others about it being better than living a lie.

Sorry about your ds though. That will be tough but children are resiliant and he will recover.

Happy Christmas (said with genuine feeling not being sarky - just read that and thought you might get then wrong end of the stick!!!)