A Christmas one

[username29473]

I have a fairly good relationship with my family so not wanting to bash them on here. I just genuinely wondered if AIBU.

Basically every year at Christmas I would go to my family's house around 10am to open presents etc. Since I have had my DC now age 5 and 3 I have felt obliged to still go for this time. This has meant often rushing opening DC presents, getting everyone ready and rushing them to GP house when they want to play with their presents so have often got upset. This year I have decided this isn't fair and I want to start enjoying my Christmas mornings.

When I was younger we wouldn't see any GP/have anyone round/go out until about 1/2pm. We would all get up open presents, have a lovely breakfast, play with presents. I feel I am not able to do this for my DC and I don't think it's fair that they expect me to come for that time. Last year I mentioned it and they all said as if I was being unfair and missing half the day with them. I haven't spoke to them yet about it but I feel I am going to be more firm this year.

AIBU? I think there is a part of me that just wants my own family Christmas traditions now. Also in case anyone suggests them coming here. One my house is a lot smaller, two my mum always insists on hosting and three there is no way I would be cooking a full Christmas lunch if I was hosting we would all be going out for lunch.

Have a separate grandparents Christmas get together at theirs on Boxing Day, so the kids can open the presents from them and enjoy their time without rushing. Make a new tradition! Christmas is really for children, not keeping the grandparents happy...

AIBU? I think there is a part of me that just wants my own family Christmas traditions now.

Yes you can make your own family traditions. If your mum moans, remind her that you are a mum yourself now with your own family; that she made her own Xmas traditions which were not early to DGPs which she expects and you've done for years now; that it's time you and your DP get to have a relaxed Xmas with your young DCs at home. You can see her in Boxing day. Or Xmas afternoon (or whatever you decide)

Of course yanbu. Just tell them you won't be coming till later in the day as you want your DC to enjoy Christmas at home now they are old enough to enjoy it, without you having to rush around.

They can like it or lump it.

Do your own thing. Kids are only little for 2 mins, so make the most of it. Have a good one xxx

I would make your plans for your family morning at home then to go to your parents later on in the day - and if/when the complaints start rolling in (as they’re likely to) ask why it was ok to be at home as a family when you were young but not now you have children of your own!!

Also, what about your DCs other grandparents/extended family? Do they get a look in over Christmas or is it all based on what your family expect?

Just tell them you loved your childhood Christmases so much that you want the same for your kids. They can't really argue with that unless they want to be exposed as massive hypocrites.

YANBU i love to see my grandchildren on christmas day but 10am no i want some nice time to myself and partner too the ones who are coming are invited to dinner at 3pm and stay as long as they want to or boxing day from 3pm same arrangement as christmas day