To buy DS a ‘girly’ hoodie?

[FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo]

DS is 4 and his favourite colour is ‘rainbow’. He doesn’t have a concept of gendered colours, something I’ve been trying to avoid.

I just posted in S&B asking for recommendations for hooded blankets for him for Xmas but then I realised the predicament is actually more about the colour/style.

I have bought myself a beyond tacky pink unicorn hooded blanket for Xmas. Ive bought DP a plain navy blue one*. I know, given a choice, DS would absolutely love to pair with me and have pink and unicorn. And I absolutely don’t mind and usually encourage him to choose what he likes.

However we are now at that age where school play dates are starting and gendered attitudes are starting to come through. DS hasn’t mentioned clothing yet but has alluded time to time about ‘girly’ toys and such - something that didn’t exist in his mind before school.

My concern is that if I do buy him a pink unicorn hoodie he’ll tell his friends or show them when they are around and they will laugh at him. He’s so little and I don’t want to do anything too outside the norm with him that may cause him problems, but nor do I want him to buy into the boys get navy, girls get unicorns. I’m very much of the ‘you be you’ option but so scared for him as bullying is brutal (something I know too well).

So what do you think? AIBU to buy a pink unicorn hoodie for DS?

*DS specifically asked for hooded blanket to wear when working (inc team meetings) hence why his is navy and not also pink. Otherwise I’d be buying him an equally tacky one.

I'm a mum of a boy teen, a boy (8) and a young girl. They all like the same. Colour and comfort. No big deal if rainbow or animal or whatever. Th ultimate blankey with us is the baby blue primark with fleece lining which is technically the teens- but since he sneered on it when I brought it home it is now fair game and THE DESIRED ONE.
This stuff goes on in every household. If your kid picks a pink one, it means nothing. His friends will too.

There's nothing wrong with a boy having a pink unicorn hoodie!

@bookstearocknroll I agree, I buy a lot of Scandi preloved (some new) clothes. Loads of colour and great prints.

My feeling is that enabling children access to clothes or toys across the gender stereotype ‘spectrum’ makes them more confident about discovering what they like/ dislike doing and wearing. I do obviously talk to them about things being perceived as ‘more girly’ and we talk about why that is, or why that might be seen as a ‘bad’ thing.
I want them to respect girls - why is liking things girls are deemed to like seen as ‘bad’?
Baking these stereotypes in so hard is goes hand in hand with ‘gender identity’. Without stereotypes what is a gender identity?
It’s all so damaging IMO.

You have a very low opinion of those he's in school with. Maybe it's not the school for him?

My five year olds favourite colour is pink. He has pink bedding. He has pink clothes (most from the "boys" section, actually). He insisted on pink accessories for "his" bathroom. He made his baby brother a pink tie dye onesie. He went to a party that was all boys and asked for the pink hat and cup - no one said anything.

His best friend has recently asked for a pink bedroom as well, so he now has pink bedding and curtains too.

I completely understand your concerns but honestly, it's never been an issue. I love that he loves pink - even though I'm not a pink person myself!

My year 4 son has rainbow leggings that he wears regularly. No one has ever mentioned anything to him about it. My toddler also loves bright colours and they both look great!

My 5 year old is exactly the same and loves rainbows and unicorns. At his request I bought him pink skye and everest themed slippers, a pink my little pony onesie, and a rainbow dressing gown with rainbow dash on it. Obviously he just wears them at home so I can't imagine it's something he would mention to his friends. I'm buying him some rainbow clothing for Christmas but I have tried to be mindful with this that his school friends might see it. Frugi have some really nice neutral rainbow clothes but in the end I got a big rainbow tie-dyed hoodie from etsy. It's really sad that we have to be worried about something like this. No one wants their child to be bullied for being the one who starts to break down this taboo on boys liking "feminine" things but at the same time if no one ever does it then nothing will ever change! I'd buy him the blanket you think he would like the best OP - also can you send me a link to it because my son also wants a hooded blanket.

@3scape

You have a very low opinion of those he's in school with. Maybe it's not the school for him?

My kids have been to 4 primary schools, I’ve never found one where gender stereotypes weren’t pushed by their peers.

I'm not sure four year olds would bully him for liking unicorns, would they? Certainly as they get older (7/8ish) it's possible, but that's very young - I think they'd be quite accepting of it.

But either way, get him the one you think he'll like best, and the tools to deal with people who comment on it.

Yeh my ds school is very gendered as well sadly. Last weekend we were at a birthday party where the little girls all had to dress up as princesses and the boys all had to dress up as super heroes. I don't think our school is unusual either judging by the number of parents I've met over the last few years who have a "girls are just quieter/boys will be boys" sort of attitude. I wish we lived in a super progressive world where a school with outdated gendered attitudes represented an anomolie that could be avoided by changing schools, but we don't sadly.

My DS when aged 9 wanted a Captain Marvel hoodie with big picture of her on front and mainly pink pallette of colours. He loves it.

My DS is now a teenager. When he was 4 he had blond curly hair and very chubby cheeks (still has curly hair and chubby cheeks) and he loved pink.
If he wanted a pink item of clothing he liked the look of I’d buy it for him. No one said a word, no adults, no children at nursery or school (he was one of the youngest of the year so he was 4 the whole of reception)
With toys my DSs chose what they liked without any idea of what toys were for girls or boys.
I don’t know where this silliness has come from

My 5yo ds has a doll, blue nail varnish, a dolls house and a load of stereotypical 'boys' toys.
He's never had any comments from his peers. His older cousin once said to him that dolls are for girls and ds replied that it was a boy doll and that was that.
Ds was at his friends for a play date last week and apparently they spent the whole time playing with LoL dolls.
A boy in ds class has a unicorn back pack.

I'd let him have it, my oldest ds was very much like this at 3/4/5 and loved rainbows, pink etc, still does really but not with the same vigour! He had the odd more girl-y thing and pink pjs etc, rainbow tops, there was the odd time in reception he wore them into school on non uniform day or pyjama day and no one blinked an eye at that age, most of the boys loved the rainbows and the others didn't care. He's 6.5 now and isn't into it so much anymore in terms of clothing, but no one at school was bothered when he was!

My DS is 9 and pink with unicorns on is his absolute favourite. I would get him that Next one and he'd love it (my friend is actually getting him a pink Oodie thing for Christmas). He wears pink/unicorns etc for non uniform days at school and no one ever makes any comments.

@MissCruellaDeVil

There's nothing wrong with a boy having a pink unicorn hoodie!

This.

Having had 2 teen dds say they are boys due to ridiculous gender stereotypes pushed by society, let him wear what the hell he wants.

I wish the unicorn trend would go away tbh. Its weird. What's wrong with a standard horse?

I love the Berry panda and the blue unicorn

OMG I can't believe dome of these answers. Let him wear what he wants. To those suggesting that he compromise to avoid bullying and yo fit in......do you not see that you are perpetuating the problem.

He can wear what he likes whether he is 5, 15 or 25. You might be pleasantly surprised that a lot of youngsters are more sceptical of gender roles these days.

Some*

What's wrong with a standard horse?

It isn't magical.

@SoupDragon

What's wrong with a standard horse?

It isn't magical.

Why not dragons instead then? Why always a unicorn?

Why not dragons instead then? Why always a unicorn?

Because that's what people apparently want. Why sloths? Why kittens?why not alligators?

@SoupDragon

Why not dragons instead then? Why always a unicorn?

Because that's what people apparently want. Why sloths? Why kittens?why not alligators?

This is true I forgot Llamas and sloths were a thing briefly. Just getting fed up with going to find a gift and being faced with unicorns all the time.

I am going to buy him what he’ll like. I don’t have a problem with him having it at all. 90% of his wardrobe is brightly coloured (mostly Frugi from the sale). The other 10% are gifts from family and very boyish.

I think I’m just worrying more than I should. We were in a toy shop a couple of weeks ago and he told me the dolls were girl toys - I can only assume that’s come from school.

I think I’m going to go with the blue unicorn one from next at any rate. Unicorns like mummy, blue coloured like daddy. Win/win.