...to judge this mother

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Snippy mother in toddler gymnastics this morning, was calling out everything her 3 year old didn't do perfectly and when toddler stepped back to look at the thing she was supposed to be walking across mother goes 'there are people waiting amelia, this is not good behaviour!'. And then when we were leaving she said 'amelia, if you can cycle home sensibly then I will give you a sweet' and then basically henpacked her along the pavement 'so that mummy has enough time to get a coffee.' Poor kid was doing her best but was getting criticised so much! And the mum was doing it really loudly, almost felt like she was doing it for the benefit of all the other mums around, like 'look at me taking charge of my unruly daughter!' No point to this post, I know all mums are doing their best, I just wanted to vent and be judgemental because it annoyed me 😂

Well, so long as you’re enjoying your judgement of her…

@Tonyschoco I try hard to be accepting of other mum's approaches but for some reason this really wound me up! Just felt so so sorry for the kid with her mum foghorning loads of criticism at her when she was trying her best!

She sounds bloody awful. Poor kid.

to be fair could you imagine having no choice but spend all your time with someone lile that, kids have no choice. poor kid and yes i would judge her hard.

Also judging. So sad.

I judge you for going to toddler gymnastics.

@Udouhun

I judge you for going to toddler gymnastics.

Why?

I get your point op.
I feel sorry for the poor child.

I am impressed you were silently judging. I would have been doing dramatic appalled looks, and telling Amelia that she was brilliantly, loudly.

@Udouhun

I judge you for going to toddler gymnastics.

Why?

@Udouhun

I judge you for going to toddler gymnastics.

What in the name of god are you on about?? 🙄🙄

Is this the part where we all jump in to agree with you that this woman that none of know sounds like an awful mother, and pat ourselves on the back for being better than her?

Yeah not a great parenting approach and would feel bad for the kid.

However maybe the mum was over compensating. She might have felt pressure to be seen to be being firm. May have been told off in the past for not 'controlling' her daughter well enough. I'm guilty of this sometimes. For example, my daughter loves to sit the well of a baby tree and play with the sticks snd mud when we're at the park... it has occurred to me that other parents may not approve so I have been guilty of saying some kind of lip service phrase to dd for other parents benefit. It's pathetic of me I know, and dd is too young to really understand what I'm saying but this may have been what this mum was doing, it's easy to feel everyone is judging your parenting, so sometimes doing what you think others wants to see is what happens

I do get your point, but you never really know the full story about a person from one small snapshot into their day.

I would have been talking really loudly about how awful some parents are constantly criticising poor children and the terrible after effects they suffer whilst saying excellent amelia what a good sensible girl you are isn't she mother of amelia you must be so proud of her so well behaved bla bla bla bitch

@Airfriedshite

I would have been talking really loudly about how awful some parents are constantly criticising poor children and the terrible after effects they suffer whilst saying excellent amelia what a good sensible girl you are isn't she mother of amelia you must be so proud of her so well behaved bla bla bla bitch

Blimey, almost as strange as Amelia's mum's behaviour

I stopped going to toddler gymnastics because most parents hen pecked their kids round the circuit the whole time I found it really draining to listen to.

When the question is AIBU to judge, the answer is almost always yes.

I find the 'she might be having a bad day' stuff a bit odd...constant criticism is a form of abuse. If I saw a man out with his wife and he constantly criticised her for the whole duration of whatever they were doing together, I'd be thinking he was an abusive twat and feel sorry for the wife. I wouldn't think that I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe he was having a really bad day and maybe he had had some awful news and was reacting to that. Because although everyone loses it sometimes and people aren't perfect, constant criticism over absolutely nothing consequential is just not ok and most people wouldnt deal with their stress like this.