To be too worried to let my 15 yr old go to London

[Bunnyfuller]

….with her friend the same age?

They want to go skating in Trafalgar Sq and then for a wander in Covent garden. 40 minute journey into London on one train, then obvs the Tube.

My DD has been to London with us lots, but never on her own. She’s always had lifts to places, even if they then go around on their own.

DH is working the next 2 weekends, and my other daughter has to work and needs lifts there and back (no buses in the area). She’s only recently started at her job so doesn’t know anyone to ask for a lift.

I guess it’s a WWYD.

Lived in London and went to school alone. Skating at Ali Pali with friends. Shopping at Shelley’s on Oxford street with my saved up pennies.

Probably younger than your DD. So YABU I think x

There is ice skating outside the Natural History Museum. You may need to book it in advance.

M 15 year old goes to London all the time. I think central London is quite safe. Safer than the suburbs where we live!

Most 11 year old and up (secondary school) pupils are crossing London on public transport to get to and from school every day. 15 is fine and a good time to do it.

There is no ice skating in Trafalgar Square.

Many, many London schools take children on school trips on the tube (including escalators) from around the age of seven. I would certainly hope any able-bodied neurotypical 15 year old could manage them.

My children have been allowed to go into central London with sensible friends on a planned route since around 13 / 14 (though they are London kids). Even for non-London kids, I would think 15 should be fine.

My 16 year old will be flying to the UK (we live in an EU country) by herself in a few weeks. She goes into the nearest city (Manchester size) by public transport by herself five days per week. She first went there with a friend and without adults, by public transport, at 13. School did a trip there and let them loose for two hours with a time to be back when she was 14.

We live in a tiny village,she went to the local sixty children primary then to a massive local secondary (over 1000 children) by public bus, now she's at college in the city.

She'll be okay - I wouldn't be happy at night, but for shopping etc in the day in London it's fine.

I flew from the U.K. to California alone at that age!! She’ll be fine, let her go

My dd(13) commutes on the tube every day, and does the odd longer tube then train trip by herself. With Citymapper, a phone, a charge bank and a friend, I’m sure your dd will be fine. Central London is bustling and busy, I suspect she might get pickpocketed if she’s silly about having an open bag and looking touristy, but apart from that I’d expect her to be fine.

Yeah trafalgar has Xmas markets at the minute but not ice skating, I'd ask her to double check that...

The "could be in the army" thing is always a red herring - the army for 16 year olds is like a military boarding school - combat at 16 would be every parent's justifiable dystopian nightmare and genuinely cause completely understandable mental health crises!

It's perfectly okay and normal to worry. All the letting go is terrifying but that's completely fine. You have to do it. You're allowed to be worried. You aren't allowed to put your worries onto your teen. That's this stage of parenting - cheer them on, support their adventures, believe they can do it and tell them so. Recognise, distance yourself enough to pragmatically analyse your concerns then act if they're justified (eg. meeting strangers in private - intervene urgently!) but if they're taking objectively age appropriate, normal, relatively sensible new steps swallow your worries - that's your job.

Assuming she is normally sensible- as is the friend- yes I’d let her

@Naughtynovembertree

It totally depends on your dd! I don't think I could trust mine on escalators and how to cross busy London roads We live by a busy road and I don't feel I've ever managed to road train her inspite of repetitive trying.

Eh? Doesn't she ever leave the house in her own?!

I was in London all the time at that age. My youngest DS would be absolutely fine he’s been able to navigate the tubes as well as the adults since he was tiny. My eldest wouldn’t manage, so very dependent on the child. If she is confident in getting around etc and used to going out to similar places I would allow it.

I let the eldest go at 15 with her best friend who is similarly fun but not daft! I'm glad she didn't ask the year before because her bestie then was as daft as a brush!

They had a brilliant time, bought reasonable things with the money they took and got home late afternoon.

They've been a couple of times since and I'm glad they're not to worried about strangers/terrorists/Covid/life to do it & enjoy it. Long may it last.

We live in London and my daughter who is nearly 13 does this sort of thing. Regularly. Similar journey time.

Thanks everyone. I’m genuinely happy with the replies. You’re absolutely right, need to let her scratch her wings.

Ironically the moment I said ok we will think about it her friend comes up with limited dates! Will ask her to show me this skating!

Obviously kids are different and you have to do what’s right for you both, but I think you have to let go at some point.

My 15 year old has asked about going into London with friends too. For us it's a 90 minute train journey.

At the moment I've said no because she doesn't know her way around at all, she has taken buses and tubes in London with me but wouldn't have a clue where she was going if I wasn't there. Also she has no plan, she just wants to go and hang around in London with her friend. If she had a specific plan which I could go through with her and work through where to go and how to get there, tube lines etc then I might be more inclined to agree. But at the moment I don't think she has any idea of the size of London, I think she thinks it's like our nearest big town and she can just walk around it.

Mines 14 and no I struggle to trust her she's just not alert in that way and no, no special needs I don't think

This year is the last time they'll be having ice skating at the Natural History Museum so if they go to london, they should go there. They'll need to book!!

I think it's ok but please educate them on keeping cash, cards and gadgets hidden, I have been mugged and was mega safe, pickpocketing's and muggings are on the rise here and my uncle has been mugged her several times in a few years.

We are London suburbs My dd wanted to go in half term at 14 and a couple of months. I was in two kinds but asked her to tell me what she would do if she got separated from her friend and needed to work out how to get home. She stomped off jn a huff and didn't mention it again so I think the reality was actually a bit much for her!

My two sons were brought up in London and used to commute to school etc., the two grandchildren 12 &16 who live rurally are a different kettle of fish! They get driven everywhere and don't go on public transport unless they're with me in London.

Just make sure they have enough cash/cards to flag down a black taxi to return them home/to station should they need to.

Somerset House on the Strand usually has ice skating. Wouldn't be surprised if it's already fully booked, though.

But just having a wander round, seeing the lights, going in a coffeeshop, will be fun for a couple of 15 year olds.

If they're going to be in the Traf. Sq. area, there's the big Waterstone's there, Foyle's in Charing X Rd and Forbidden Planet in Shaftesbury Ave, if any of those are to their taste. But prime pickpocketing spots, as is Covent Garden, so they need to be careful.

@Naughtynovembertree

Mines 14 and no I struggle to trust her she's just not alert in that way and no, no special needs I don't think

Not alert enough to use an escalator?