No kitchen for a month

[Ualhsa]

Am I being unreasonable? We moved house over 3 weeks ago, into a complete mess of a house that needed so much work. Belonged to an old man who had died and then the house had been left empty for ages so I’m sure you can imagine. In the first week there was urgency to get things done (we had a week overlap before we had to move in properly) but since then all sense of urgency has disappeared. I’m 33+2 and stressing out. We still have no kitchen (my partners dad and his handyman said they’d fit it) and for the first few days they turned up and cracked on but it’s been over a week since any progress has been made. There’s boxes everywhere, we have no washer and drier so I’m having to drive half an hour to my parents house to do wash loads. None of the baby stuff is washed yet. There’s no carpet on the hallway or stairs still (it’s rolled up in the nursery waiting to be fitted still)

My partner is saying that’s just what his family is like and they don’t do anything in a hurry but I’m getting so angry and upset that he hasn’t tried pushing them at all to get a move on. Money isn’t such an issue for him either so he could hire someone to do these jobs that he can’t do himself (light fixtures from the previous owner covered in smoke etc) but chooses not to.

Am I being unreasonable?

I have my own money. Just not enough to afford to pay someone to sort the house out. We aren’t married and bills and money are fair. That isn’t the issue at hand at all.

@romdowa

Yanbu and I would be going to stay with my mother until the house is sorted if I were in your shoes. That might light a fire under dp

Stress is not good for you.

Pack up and leave him to it and tell him to call you when it is done.

Are you on the deeds?

We've moved to a house 2 months ago, which needs everything doing to it.

It's troggy as hell. But luckily it's just ugly but functional and I am also not pregnant.

I don't know what it's like where you live, but I'm in the NW and trying to get a trade is an absolute nightmare.

They don't ring when they say they will. Don't turn up when they say they will. Ignore messages. Ignore calls etc.

And this is various different companies we are trying.

I think you would be hard pushed to find someone to fit a kitchen before the baby is born.

I'd just push your partner to get on to his family to get a move on as it's stressing you out, which can't be good for the baby.

he says to stop stressing him out or he’ll not want to spend time with me

He is behaving like an adolescent. You're in an incredibly vulnerable position, and he isn't stepping up or proving his worth or commitment. Add in the normal stresses of post-birth family life - what do you imagine that will look like? You need to be telling him to shape up, step up, or you'll not be stopping around. Please get a Plan B in place while you have some energy reserves.

I’d ring the local estate agents, get it valued and get it on the market.

You and the baby will be in a clean, equipped, safe rental flat and your ex partner can pay maintenance.

Or he can pull his finger out and sort the house. His call.

But you have to be serious about putting the baby first.