AIBU to find it REFRESHING how shame-free girls in secondary schools are about having a period?

[Japingjaponica]

A queue of girls at secondary school today saying to me 'I can't swim miss I'm on my period' and it's just a normal and everyday thing for them to say.
Compared to the fear and secrecy and SHAME we had in the 80s, hiding our products and not even talking about it to other girls. My Dad talking about it in tones of shame and disgust. Society doesn't always develop positively but today made me weirdly happy.

I was embarrassed about my periods at school in the 90s but would still brazenly say "I can't do PE sir, its that time of the month" to get out of PE, as did many of my classmates!

I was an 80's teen too, and it just wasn't something you talked about with anyone other than your friends. No way could I even mention the word in front of my dad. We had a pool that was used for a few weeks in the summer, and although I love swimming, the school PE swimming was awful, so I think I had a period every week then .

I was open with XH about them when I was with him, mainly because of PMT etc.

DD started young same as I did, so I started as I mean to go on, by discussing them openly and frankly and filling a drawer in the bathroom for her.

She has an app on her iphone that reminds her when she is due, and she always lets me know when she is on.

I think it was in grade 5 that we had the special day where a film was shown to the girls in the gym. With the windows papered over.

My period did not start until I was 14. That was the normal age in the 60s. I remember being terrified it would start during school. I went to an extremely rules bound junior high and we could not go to our lockers during class changes, which were very short time-wise. I don't remember vending machines in the washrooms either.

It is so much better now for girls.

I was at my friends recently and her daughter mentioned feeling tired because she was on her period so casually

I wanted to congratulate her for being so open (i didn’t)

I would never have said anything like that in front on my mums friends and would struggle to be so casual even in front of my mum.

It’s really positive so much of our lives we are bleeding or dealing with hormonal changes why shouldn’t it be spoken about

Well this is a very positive thread for AIBU!

And just think, all the shame and secrecy about Menopause is being cast aside in the media/culture right now, so they will live free of that too, when the time comes.

It's a shame they feel they have to miss swimming. But then again, swimming at secondary is quite unusual.

DD is part of a mixed friendship group, and I know she has sometimes told male friends when she has been on her period.

@Japingjaponica

Well this is a very positive thread for AIBU! And just think, all the shame and secrecy about Menopause is being cast aside in the media/culture right now, so they will live free of that too, when the time comes.

Had a teams call today for the whole department with a guest speaker talking about the menopause. Vaginal dryness and loss of libedo mentioned as symptoms both out loud and on PowerPoint slides. The world is indeed changing.

@BarefootHippieChick

The difference now is that back in the 80s you used to be able to get out of pe lessons if you were on your period but now teachers are having none of it. I swear I had permanent periods as a teenager 😆

In ours you had to do PE but didnt have to shower

It was a badge of honour to say yes period when the PE teacher called the register (Obviously until we all started having periods on a regular basis and realised what a pain it was going to be for decades)

Having said that I don’t remember hiding it or feeling shame about it, but my mum and dad were very open and relaxed about the whole thing so maybe that was part of it….because of their attitude I didn’t realise that others found it shameful

I remember one day in secondary school, late 90’s, all girls school and my best friend was really quiet. We had swimming and got to the pool and all trooping from changing room into the pool and she suddenly pulls me back and starts crying saying she can’t go in and to get Miss. I went and got the teacher and she was hyperventilating and couldn’t speak properly. Eventually she whispered to me she’d gotten her period and didn’t have anything for it and couldn’t swim. I felt so bad for her that she was in such a state instead of asking me if I had a tampon, which I did. So glad things are better now.

I was open with XH about them when I was with him, mainly because of PMT etc.

Yes, I always spoke freely about my periods to my husband - no qualms about sending him off to buy pads, getting him to make me a hot water bottle and so on. I had terrible periods thanks to a number of conditions - it would have been hard to keep them a secret. Thankfully I am now post-hysterectomy.

Allywill

That sounds so positive. We had a managers meeting as was informed that there will be a menopause policy. HE manager said this is hushed tones and quickly moved on while the men looked very uncomfortable

It’s so ridiculous. We peri menopausal women at work are very open about it when we can remember what we are talking about

HR manager (not HE)

@TimeForTeaAndG

Whilst I'm glad they feel able to be honest and unashamed, I'd feel sad that girls are still opting out of sports because they have their period. There are so many options that would enable them to take part, understanding obviously that families have financial restrictions and so forth but knowing what's available might help give them more of a chance to join in.

What ARE you talking about?

I would opt out of sport if it coincided with the first day of my period because I would be in so much pain I couldn't think straight.

Absolutely agree! have free sanitary protection for girls in my office and I lit up like a Christmas tree when knew of my wonderful girls opened the door to the classroom I was teaching in and yelled across the class (including boys) "Miss, can I go in your office I need a tampon".

At secondary school (90s) our PE teachers used to keep a register for us going in the shower after games. If you excused yourself on the basis of your period they put a P in that week’s box.

A few years later when I was doing my teacher training a young lass wandered up to me bold as brass and announced in front of the class that she was going to the toilet cos she’d come on her reds in her pants. That’s shameless, and good for her!

It’s so ridiculous. We peri menopausal women at work are very open about it when we can remember what we are talking about

God how true this is

I didn't start my periods until I was 16. I was thrilled to finally get out of swimming but when I told my PE teacher (along with a note from my mum) she said 'come on you're 16 now - you should be have switched to tampons years ago'.

At my secondary school, late seventies/early eighties, cross country was always on freezing cold and wet winter days when it was too miserable for hockey or netball and we couldn’t possibly be allowed to do indoor pe. There was a short course which you could walk as well as the normal one. The short course was for those who were not well enough to do normal cross country. As a lifelong asthmatic l always did the short course (medication has improved out of all recognition since then) but it was amazing how many other girls seemed to need to do the short course because, apparently, they were having their period.

I work at a school in Germany. I was (pleasantly) surprised to see half the girls in an 8th grade class going to the front of the class to collect pads and tampons when the secretary came into the classroom with free ones on offer. The boys didn't even care.

We were quite open and free about our periods at my secondary school in the late 80s/early 90s. I remember my best friend standing outside the toilet cubicle door during break time and loudly instructing me on how to insert a tampon because she was so utterly horrified I was only using pads (mind you, pads were big, thick, thrush-inducing things in those days).