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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain to school about this

22 replies

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/11/2021 14:47

Just a reality check before I get in touch with school. I work in a primary school and have been a secondary teacher and never complain.

DS 14 (Y10) is really academic but a complete worrier and puts himself under a lot of pressure. In his latest report he got mostly 8s and 9s and s few 7s. Obviously we and he were really pleased. Because of his SATs his target grades are 8s and 8s though, and yesterday he was taken out of class to attend a support session for pupils who are not achieving as they should. He came home upset and feeling that school are saying he's not working as hard as he could.

So, am I being precious/unreasonable to ask why he was targeted for this? Or should we accept that it was probably done with good intentions to help him fulfil his potential?

OP posts:

ImJustADaddy · 18/11/2021 14:48

yes you are

Sargass0 · 18/11/2021 14:49

Do you mean complain or have a chat with the teacher?

Original poster

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/11/2021 14:51

Yes, a chat rather than a complaint in the first instant of course.

OP posts:

TotallySuper · 18/11/2021 14:51

YABU they see his potential and want him to do the best he can, it's not a punishment it's to help him. You need to explain that to him so he's clear - they see talent in you and want you to get the grades you deserve.

Sirzy · 18/11/2021 14:51

So they are trying to support him to meet his full potential?

WhatsUpDoctor · 18/11/2021 14:52

I'm confused too. What's the complaint? That school are helping him to do the best he can?

SoftwareDev · 18/11/2021 14:53

So essentially your son is being given additional support at school and you are considering a complaint?

Wow.

Obviously you need to tackle your son’s feelings on this (have a chat about growth mindset). But to complain is beyond unreasonable.

noblegiraffe · 18/11/2021 14:53

You want to complain to the school that they have put extra support in place to help him meet his targets which he is currently not meeting?

I mean, there are issues around computer generated targets, and I'm wondering what the support entailed that made your DS feel like he was being told he wasn't working hard enough, but on the face of it, your complaint sounds mad.

Rosemaryandlemon · 18/11/2021 14:53

You are not being unreasonable as he came home upset and felt he was being told he wasn’t working hard enough.

You are being unreasonable to use the word “targeted” and possibly inflame the situation.

I’m sure that it was not the school’s intention to upset him or make him feeling like he wasn’t working hard enough. There aim was to ensure he achieves his full potential (and consider if there is any reason he maybe isn’t achieving that in some subjects - I’m dyslexic so even though I was super bright I found French tough).

I would email his Tutor/Year Head just flag up h was upset, you were sure it was no ones intention, but you think it would be helpful if someone could chat to him about this and probably generally keen an eye on him anxiety wise. I’d be asking if school felt he was anxious and if they get your son needed more support.

SameToo · 18/11/2021 14:53

Targeted 😂 He’s not meeting the grades he was set and is therefore considered to need additional support. Would you rather the school didn’t bother?

SeasonFinale · 18/11/2021 14:54

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing. It is possible he has misunderstood and that they are extension work sessions for high achievers.

Stompythedinosaur · 18/11/2021 14:55

So some of his predicted grades are lower than they think he can achieve and they are giving extra support?

Not really grounds for a complaint, it sounds like good practice.

mnahmnah · 18/11/2021 14:55

If they are forecast a 9, but are currently achieving a 7, then that is not achieving to potential. It depends on the school, at which point interventions are put into place. I would encourage attendance at support sessions in this case, but they can’t make them compulsory and I would be far more concerned with people under-achieving to a greater extent than this.

User65412 · 18/11/2021 14:58

If you work in a primary school then you must know how interventions work. They are targeted at a specific group based on previous data as you said. This could be high achievers, greater depth, borderline pupils etc. There is a stigma that intervention means a pupil is failing and you would be reinforcing it by complaining. They are trying to help your child achieve his full potential - be glad.
YABU.

Original poster

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/11/2021 14:59

In danger of drip feeding , it wasn't targeted extra support just a generic chat with 6th formers where they said things like to him like try to revise more.

I think my problem is that if they knew DS at all they'd know that what he needs is help with his self esteem, not to be told that he's not doing well enough. Just letting us know in advance would have made a huge difference.

I work in a school and have heard, I think, every single ridiculous complaint ever so don't want to be that parent. But just wanted a sense of the bigger picture. Complain was definitely the wrong word.

OP posts:

BabbleBee · 18/11/2021 14:59

DD is now Yr12 but she was put into an intervention group for maths in Yr10 / 11. It was to target the middle ability students who were scoring just short of the next grade, so a 6 almost a 7 or likewise. It was really useful, particularly for ironing out silly mistakes in exam papers where points were being missed.

middleager · 18/11/2021 15:00

I think you've had some unfair responses here and I understand your PoV.
When targets are set high it leaves little room to move.
A 7 is bloody good and I don't think I'd be happy if mine were pulled out either, so I don't actually think YABU.
I also work in a school setting.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 18/11/2021 15:02

Your child’s teachers must have a massive amount of time on their hands to be doing intervention for students in year 10 who are getting A grades already when they have 18 months to go until their GCSEs.
It’s very weird to be honest.

Original poster

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/11/2021 15:06

It wasn't an intervention as such, I definitely wouldn't have been questioning that. Just a one off session with 6th formers for a wide group of pupils identified as not meeting targets. I think my background makes me think it was a box ticking thing.

He's in a high achievement group where he does extra stuff and he really benefits from that.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 18/11/2021 15:23

If it was arranged with sixth formers and a large group of Y10s, they’ve just pulled up a spreadsheet and generated a list.

The sixth formers were probably asked to tell the kids what helped them improve and so ‘revise more’ was the obvious, standard response.

If it’s not going to be a regular thing just discuss it with your DS in terms of ‘was any of it useful? Ok, let’s move on’.

girlmom21 · 18/11/2021 15:44

He's not a sixth former though so why would he be pulled into the chats they're having with sixth formers?

They're just telling him to keep his head down and work hard. Complaining is pointless.

Original poster

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 18/11/2021 16:04

That's exactly what I think has happened noble Think I'm irritated because they're an ofsted outstanding school and I see a lot of what is obviously ofsted box ticking that looks good on paper but then not actually so good on practical pupil support and well being. Maybe on this occasion iabu though.

OP posts:

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