I've NC for this as I've had other threads going...
I left exh 3 weeks ago.
I've started counselling and been completely honest with how things were and how I felt. My counsellor has said he sounds like a narcissist and has cohercive controlled me. I have no idea how he's done it.
He is also a gambling addict.
Before I met him (7 years ago) he was massively in debt due to gambling. He used to get his wage, go to a bookies and gamble it. He owed money left right and centre....what a catch I know 
however when I found out about all this, I was already sucked in and head over heals. I took a loan out for him to pay off his debt and he paid off.
The first year, he still gambled a lot. He would admit when he did it or I would find out myself. Either way I realised he had a problem but he promised he would stop. I was so naive, I didn't realise how serious it was.
Then he stopped for a good couple of years, everything was good in the time. He still has football bets but nothing too extreme. I loved him every much even though he made me feel very uneasy.
The last year or so, his gambling has become increasingly worse. Now we are talking a minimum of £20 a day. Plus scratch cards. Plus the lottery. Plus raffles. Sometimes he would have £40/£50 in a day. Earlier in the year, he bought a full pack of scratch cards costing hundreds.
For the past 4 months, maybe more, he has promised he will stop gambling. Sometimes every morning. He deletes the apps off this phone before he goes to work, made me look him the eye and promised he would stop. Then the minute he got home from work, he would say 'I'm just going to have a quick £20. That will be my last one' he would say it in a jokey way yet my heart would break. The promise he made earlier that day was broken yet again. Sometimes he would last 2/3 days with nothing but never more than that. He would always start again.
However he never saw the problem. He wasn't gambling everything. We had a joint account and I knew what he was spending. We still had more than enough money to live comfortably. I could even save money here and there....but we were trying to save to buy our house and we weren't saving anywhere near enough to do that.
This is just one of many reasons why I left.
During one of our many many talks, I asked him about why can't stop gambling. He's adamant he doesn't have a problem and said he could stop if he wanted too. Something he would say every single day when I was there but could never do it.
I told him it must be either 1 of 2 things: he either loves gambling more than me or he has a problem.
He replied in a very defensive manor 'aren't I allowed to have just a bit of fun?'
That was the answer I got. In all fairness he doesn't drink, he doesn't go out. He just gambles. I used to suggest spending the money something more productive like a hobby, playing football, going to the gym but he had no interest.
Everytime I talked about him stopping he either said he was going too or he works hard and doesn't spend money on anything else. Also he didn't have a problem as he didn't gamble the way he used too and we still lived comfortably.
He spends about £8000 i think on gamblng. Annoyingly, he looked at his accounts and his actual winnings are around the £8000 mark. He had a big win recently which made up the amount.
Aibu in any of this? I'm just trying to process all the different parts of my marriage.