Changing nursery school

[Wickedesque]

Hi. My 4 year old child attends nursery 5 days a week for 2.5hrs. The teacher has reported that he is over reliant on adult interaction. She states he is poor to play with others and doesn’t seem to know how to play. This is not my experience at all. He is a shy child admittedly but I am unsure how I can help him. He is involved in 4 different activities on 4 different evenings to try to encourage more socialisation. What more can I do?

I would try to send him for a longer day. 2.5 hours doesn't feel sufficient to settle and find his own feet. Could you do two X 5 hour sessions instead and see if that has an impact?

2.5 hours?! That's your reason. That's no time to settle or make real friends.

Based on your thread title, are you considering changing his nursery?

I think 2.5 hours each day is better for a 4yo than less longer days. It becomes a bigger part of the routine and is less tiring. Are there any particular friends he talks about that you could arrange play dates with?

What examples did she give? When did he start nursery? Are you in the UK or not? Why only 2.5 hrs is he struggling with using the toilet / eating? In the UK a 4 yo should be on some kind of track to classroom based learning and for that to work as it should they need to be 100% independant when it comes to eating, dressing and using the toilet so they aren’t stressing about little things. If he is independant then you need to increase the hours spent in nursery so he can benefit from all the activities needed to get him ready for school.

When my summer born son was in Reception, he had extra help from the school in form of nurture groups so that he could improve his social skills. He has older siblings and was sociable with their friends but being away from them and socialising with peers the same age is different. Perhaps you could ask what they are doing to support him?

I'm going to assume that the activities are organized rather than free form. So an adult will tell the kids what to do and the kids copy sort of thing. Did the teacher give examples of his problems? Does he struggle to share vs does he have problems approaching other kids ? The latter is exactly the sort of support my ds had in Reception

Have you asked them for recommendations of what to do? Could you organise some play dates where there is free play and less structured activities?

Was their issue he doesn't play with others, or does he not play at all and needs a grown up to help? How old is he? If he is only just 4 and he is playing by himself, I wouldn't be too bothered, it's not unusual for them to play independently.

Is it not part of her job to encourage his social interactions?

Can he change workers? I've generally observed very young children sometimes just don't click with certain adults. (And nursery workers get terribly upset when they realise a child just doesn't like them which affects the dynamic even more)

It's what more can they do, they should be putting things in place for him.
It is their job after all.
You've got him in clubs which is great.

I found 1 to 1 playdates were better for encouraging interaction/play with peers.

2.5 hours a day 5 days a week is plenty btw OP I think some people have misunderstood.

That's the standard pattern offered by lots of preschools/nursery classes, it's not a lack of nursery hours here.