To meet him?

[RainbowBriteUk]

I've been talking to a man I met on online dating for a while. He's quiet, thoughtful and incredibly nice and caring. On paper, he's the ideal man but he texts an awful lot about things I find dull. I do like talking to him but sometimes I find myself thinking FFS, give it a rest. He's said he's keen to meet up.

So, my question based on what I've said is would you meet him and see how he is in RL? Have you ever found your DP to seem boring but dependable in the early days and you've come to cherish this trait?

What do you have to loose? You are never going to know if it will work until you meet in person

@waitingpatientlyforspring You're right. He's so dependable I just don't want to bin him off so easily. I could do with someone caring and dependable in my life.

Yeah just meet him, it's only coffee

Yes, my DP is quite quiet and shy at first with people so his initial chat wasn’t the best. Typical ‘too nice’ type a bit too scared to make a joke…. Especially online. But there was a definite spark on our first date and our shared humour developed with time. Now we’re always laughing together and he’s always amusing me.

Also you are way overthinking this if you haven’t met IRL yet. You may love or hate him in reality!

You’ve nothing to lose. I know lots of people who are great in person but dull as shit by text (and vice versa).

What does he text that’s so boring?

Another thing is that he lives around 70 miles away which puts me off too. It's an expensive journey to him and I can't imagine having to make that journey potentially every other weekend if we ended up getting on.

Probably not a great sign you much in common, could be he just wants to make conversation and isn't aware you find it dull, change the subject or say you're busy if he keeps going on, if he's still like it in person then you know he's drab person that likes only talking about his interests.
Does he ask questions about yourself?

He could be ‘the one’ op, in which case 70 miles would be nothing. In a few years from now you could be married with children, looking back and thinking I’m so glad I didn’t let a couple of hours drive put me off!

70 miles away! You have to be very keen, personally I wouldn't want a long distance thing.

My dh wasn't my type tbh.
Bit of a car nerd!
And liked a drink!!
Been together 9 years and married 6 with a dc!!
Nowt to lose op as long as you meet in a public place!!
Even some seriel killers prob started off boring!!

I wouldn't meet him because what's the point in travelling 70 miles for a boring man. There's no point settling for dependable if he's not there for you to depend on.

If he was closer I might consider it on the basis that his boring text conversations might just be because he's keen to keep talking to you.

I had a ldr for 4 years. Best relationship I have ever had!!

I vote no. If you find him dull now its not going to improve.

Thank you for your replies.

I don't want to let him down. He's just lovely. If we got on, I also wouldn't want to be sat on a train travelling to him every other weekend. I am stuck in a single rut and massively enjoy my weekends to myself doing nothing at all if that's what I choose. Also, I would quite like a man. Just not one 70 miles away!

It's the 70 miles away that would be the issue for me.

If you havent met in real life yet and havent spent actual time together theres no way you can know if he's really dependable? Anybody can say anything online and by text, you don't know if he's a nice man at all. I would say if his texts bore you and you dont want to travel 70 miles (I wouldn't either) then leave this one, plenty more men out there.

@Voord He texts me that he's going for a shower, tells me about his annual leave even at work, tells me he's tired, tells me when he's booked medical appointments. He's incredibly lovely but I don't need to know this stuff! The texts are relentless too. If I reply to his text he will always reply to mine and this carries on unless I stop texting so he can't seem to end a text conversation himself.

He does also ask how I am and how my day is going/has been/asks what I have planned after work etc so it's not just him talking about himself as it may come across in my last post.

Why don't you try having a Zoom date first before either of you travels all that way.

Even some seriel killers prob started off boring!!
What exactly are you trying to say?
"It's OK if he's a bit dull! He might turn out to be a serial killer! Wouldn't that be exciting?!"

Don't meet him OP. Just in case. Wouldn't want you getting murdered.

Different communication style, he likes to message through the day with details and you don't feel you need to know, perhaps you prefer to catch up once a day or in person? this is a big decision factor for me before I go on a date, he needs to be similar to myself if a relationship was to ever work.

He has my communication style haha where’s he from I’ll go on a date with him? It’s refreshing having someone to actually talk too while online dating. I’m fed up of the non existent talk. It’s boring sending one text a day your getting to know someone not arranging a work meeting.

Lol it's the same texts he sends day after day; asking me how I slept, asking me how is my day going, telling me he's on his lunch break, telling me his day at work is dragging, telling me he's home, asking me how work has been. I was travelling home tonight and the amount of messages was frazzling. I just wanted a bit of peace and quiet. If I answer back, he keeps the text conversation going on and on and on. I even tried doing a thumbs up in the hope it would cut the text conversation dead for a little while but to no avail.