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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset and annoyed that my sister just left my birthday present on the doorstep...

24 replies

MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:14

...rang the bell then ran away and got into a car and have the driver drive off!

We haven't been getting on recently for various reasons but if she wants to give me a present, fine but at least give it to me in person. If she's just going to dump and run then why bother?

OP posts:
Tortington · 14/12/2007 14:15

quite - its hardly about the present per se is it?

BahHumbugRubyRiojaNoXmasName · 14/12/2007 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SevenSwansASlouching · 14/12/2007 14:17

Aah, sorry to hear this.

On the plus side - its my birthday too! have a happy one (once you've calmed down)

Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:19

It's Charlotte Church's book which is one i wanted to read.

OP posts:
BahHumbugRubyRiojaNoXmasName · 14/12/2007 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinktinselanddollymixtures · 14/12/2007 14:21

Could it be that if you haven't been getting on, that she is a bit nervous of seeing you face to face.
Maybe you could be the bigger person here and phone her to tell her how much you like the book.

Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:22

I was going to put the card and present on her doorstep saying "if your going to dump and run then don't bother" but my maturity got the better of me.

OP posts:
DoesntChristmasDragOn · 14/12/2007 14:23

You've not been getting on but she still went to the effort of buying and delivering a gift for your birthday??? And you're whinging because she didn't give it to you in person

YABU.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 14/12/2007 14:24

That would have been unforgivably rude if you'd done that!!

Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:28

To be honest she had bought the present before we started not getting on.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:30

[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2100/438017?stamp=071210125544 This thread]] was why we aren't getting on at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:31

This

OP posts:
TroutSprout · 14/12/2007 14:33

Yabu..sorry
At least she sent you a pressie. Maybe see it as a step towards a better relationship? .I can see that you may be upset and annoyed that you haven't been getting on but not that she left you a present without calling in.It's an opportunity for a phonecall anyway isn't it surely.
Life is too short

Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:36

I think i would rather she didn't give me a present if she is going to do it in such a way it spoils my birthday. Why run away? I'm not that scary.

OP posts:
robin3 · 14/12/2007 14:42

My best mate did this to me once simply because she was 'so busy'. I'd just had my first baby and tbh I felt like paying the postage to send it back.

Scotia · 14/12/2007 14:43

Maybe she's frightened that you might reject her if she came to your door? If you want to build bridges, you could phone and thank her for te gift and ask her over. I was about to say life's too short for all that, but TroutSprout beat me to it.

robin3 · 14/12/2007 14:44

Note to self....keep savings account for trip to Bali every Christmas with toyboy.

robin3 · 14/12/2007 14:46

oohps wrong thread

TroutSprout · 14/12/2007 14:48

ok..i just read your other thread and the ones they lead to. It kinda makes more sense now.
I still don't think that you should use the present giving as more fuel for more anger though.What's the point?.

Original poster
MsSparklingXmasTree · 14/12/2007 14:51

I don't want to build bridges. She has had too many chances with me and this is her way of saying "ooh look at me the nice caring sister giving a present" making me look like the bitch.

It's a shame she wasn't so nice last week when she was bragging to my mum and her friends that she had told me to fuck off!

OP posts:
pinktinselanddollymixtures · 14/12/2007 14:55

I think you should bite the bullet and phone her.

I've had problems with my younger sister. I think she is manic depressive. She certainly has serious issues and can take offence to the smallest of things. And when she goes off on one, she really can go off on one. I would never say anything to hurt or upset her yet in the past she has taken offence to something I've said and just gone ballistic. The things she's said to me have been appalling. Yet, despite all that, she is my sister and I love her.

Sometimes, even though your not in the wrong you have to be the bigger person. I know that my sister was really pleased when I contacted her after we'd fallen out. Because she had said some spiteful things to me and would never have had the courage to phone and apologise to me.

Try and be the adult in this situation, if you give your sister a chance you may be pleasently surprised at her reaction. She really might be too afraid to make the first move.

TroutSprout · 14/12/2007 15:34

ok fair enough.
Just ignore it then..and try not to get too worked up about it

Are you gonna keep it though

TroutSprout · 14/12/2007 15:36

lol at robin3

Pk616 · 14/12/2007 15:52

MsSpark
I've had a look at the other threads and IMO I would write both your sister and your mother off.
You are NOT obligated to them for anything, simply being related does NOT mean you have to get on or communicate in anyway.
Your DC won't be missing out on a grandma/auntie infact would probably benefit from the lack of contact from them and it sounds like you have great inlaws anyway so all the grandparenting and auntie/uncleing can come from that side of the family!
Don't let yourself feel guilt over writing them off either, the three of you don't get on, so why should you torture yourself trying to communicate or worrying about not communicating.
As for the pressie thing, I wouldn't say your sis was trying to build bridges, it could just as easily have been a ploy to show you "how much better than you she is" or simply a case of she'd bought the gift and couldn't find the receipt to take it back so she was going to make damned sure you were going to have it!
Write them off lass, breathe a sigh of relief and start to really enjoy your life

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