Why do I have to be DH's Christmas PA every single year?

[Bellbird]

Generally I mustn't grumble about dh. However, I reckon that from the point I said 'I will' I became his Christmas PA. In the November (one month after the wedding) my mil was on the phone with a huge list of names and addresses of distant cousins, and far flung friends of 'the family' and I was expected to just get on with sending them Christmas cards. That was 10 years ago, and I'm beginning to feel a bit fed up with the hypocrisy, given that I still haven't met half of them. Yet dh is in agreement with his mum on this one; that I have to make the effort

we go into a card shop - admittedly the instigation to go to card shop is mine - then i say - you get your lot and i'll get mine.

I'm year round PA - but I don't mind in general but I would draw the line at distant relatives I haven't met in 10 years of marriage. I also insist he does work ones. BUT my DH is grateful and very thankful and gracious - if he wasn't I would tell him to sod off and do them himself!

Dp has had to write 3 cards this year - and post them. Needless to say he still hasn't done them.

I'm betting he won't get round to it before the last posting day.

i'v had 3 husbands NOT ONE has ever had any idea what to even buy for their mums at xmas. so i guess you will just have to get used to it

PanicPressiePants, yep, that sounds about right. Maybe my mil needs a seasonal reminder that at least one of us can be organised?

Bellbird your mistake was doing it the first time (which is exactly what I did).

I spent the first 4 years of our marriage doing EVERYTHING to do with xmas until the 4th year when the only thing my DH had to do was buy a pressie for me - and he couldn't even manage that.

That was the last year I sorted out his xmas for him.

Well, after 10 years it is very hard, isn't it. But never too late to take a stand.

If you resent doing it, tell him that you have Had Enough. It is not your job just because you've got a vagina!

Ooooor, you could say to him that you will do his cards for him after he does X, Y, Z and only after

But it would be best to build a time machine, go back 10 years and laugh down the phone at his mum and say "Oh, that's a good one, really funny, you nearly had me there...do his cards for him, hahahahahaha. I'll pass the list to him for you, thanks, bye."

Don't bother with cards.
Waste of time.

my dh did his last week, mine are still waiting!

I need a secretary at home as well as at work!

If dh wants the effort making he can blody well make it. Do these people even send you cards?

We have very different views on Xmas cards. I don't want to send, dh does, and I can kind of see his point that it is a bit rude to not send cards to people you get them from. So we do it together. I (as I'm the organised one) maintain a spreadsheet with addresses and use it to print out labels every year, dh then writes and posts the cards. if somebody dosn't send one to us, we don't send them one next year.

I don't do any of dh's christmas things - apart from buying the cards (I get them in the sales etc so we always have a stash - I don't specifically buy some for him) and wrapping some of the presents he has brought (because I love wrapping christmas presents).
His family - he sorts it.
Same for their birthday cards and presents.

yeah I'm with Squirrel here.

I think we all know someone who does EVERYTHING for OH including my BF who even makes her DPs dental appointments!!!!!!!! and then has to cancel and re-schedule when he decides he doesn't want to go that particular day!!!!

Message withdrawn