Please help me work out how I can leave DH.

[AnnieLande]

I'm trying to put a plan together to separate with DH but I'm struggling with the logistics.

We have a mortgage. Owe about 145k. Bought for 180k. Now worth between 260k-275k.

I'm a mature student at Uni. I don't work. Also have a small child.

I wanted to sell the house and rent somewhere. But I'm aware that I won't get UC if I have the money from the house. Is my only option to just live on it until it runs out and then switch to UC?

I will also be trying to get a PT job to work around School and Uni.

Can anyone advise?

Thanks for all the advice everyone. My head is all over the place. I don't think I can do this. I'll just have to stay put. That's probably whats best for DC anyway

Do you want to talk to us a bit about your reasons for wanting to end the relationship? Or maybe start a new thread in relationships?

Why don't you stay until you have completed your degree ?

@AnnieLande

Thanks for all the advice everyone. My head is all over the place. I don't think I can do this. I'll just have to stay put. That's probably whats best for DC anyway

Whether or not it's best for DC depends on whats happening. Not if DP is abusive.

Uni students are not entitled to UC, because you can get a financial income from your student loan for living expenses. Hope this helps you.

@Samedaysame

Uni students are not entitled to UC, because you can get a financial income from your student loan for living expenses. Hope this helps you.

Wrong, single parent mature students are entitled to UC. I know because I claim it.

@Samedaysame

Uni students are not entitled to UC, because you can get a financial income from your student loan for living expenses. Hope this helps you.

This is wrong. I do wish people would stop giving wrong advice!

@AnotherEmma same, especially when it comes to single parents studying and UC. Would hate any woman to be put off getting a degree because some numpty on here gave them the wrong advice.

If the relationship is poor as in no longer in love but you can function as friends until you complete your degree it will be a lot easier to leave. - shared ownership would be great and you can claim uc then

She can claim UC as a single parent student now.

[quote ObnoxiousFeminist]@AnotherEmma same, especially when it comes to single parents studying and UC. Would hate any woman to be put off getting a degree because some numpty on here gave them the wrong advice.[/quote]
Quite!

Listen to anotherEmma as she totally knows what she's talking about

@PicaK

Listen to anotherEmma as she totally knows what she's talking about

Ha, thank you! I do, but of course Mumsnet is full of people who claim that

@AnotherEmma Please can I ask you something really quickly? Very similar question but regarding inheritance & UC, rather than separation from a partner. 

@AnnieLande I promise not to derail your thread!

Sure, feel free to PM or just ask here

@AnotherEmma

Sure, feel free to PM or just ask here

^ Thank you!!!^ ^ My Mum is planning on leaving my brother & I and each of our kids (1 each, so 4 beneficiaries) her house. I told her tactfully that I think she should give mine to my daughter to give her a better chance at success etc but nope! I also hate talking about it for obvious reasons but she is insisting on leaving us 25% each. The house is currently only worth about £250k maybe a touch more, so it won’t be a huge amount each, but more than we’ve ever had! However, she’s concerned about how it will affect me and my circumstances. I’m severely disabled and on UC LCWRA & PIP. Lost my career, not choosing not to work, but quite literally have no choice. I’m also widowed, so it’s just my child & I, in our social housing property. My Mum is concerned about how it will affect my UC. I do receive non-means tested elements I think, but my biggest concern is losing the LCWRA element as, as you know, that’s a loooooooong process to restart. My Mum would be leaving me my 25% in order to help purchase a home and get on the property ladder. So say after costs etc, I end up with £50-60k, how would that affect my UC please? Any advice? I know somebody is going to come along and rip me apart for discussing inheritance whilst my Mum isn’t even unwell but as I said, I don’t want to! However my Mum REALLY really wants me to have a fair share of this and really wants to be able to help me onto the property ladder, which I understand as a parent. She is stressing over this and needs the peace of mind that having her Will in order, without the worry of it actually landing me in a worse position long term. Nobody else seems to ‘get’ this, as everyone I’ve mentioned it to, has never been through the sheer HELL of an LCWRA element application.

Sorry for the essay! Any advice please?^ 🙏🏻

@Almostmenopausal
Ha, not a quick question to ask or answer
It's important for your mother to get proper legal advice on this, from a solicitor or a trust and estate practitioner. If she's appointing someone to draw up her will, she needs to make sure it's someone with knowledge and experience of trusts for disabled people. I think they will advise that if she wants to leave you money in her will, instead of leaving it to you directly, it should be put into a discretionary trust with you as the beneficiary. That way you wouldn't have direct access to the money, it would be controlled by the trustees, but it could be used to help you. It wouldn't affect your means-tested benefits. Universal credit is a means-tested benefit, and this includes all the elements. So if savings go above £16k and can't be disregarded, the whole UC award will be stopped.
However, your PIP award is not means-tested so that will be unaffected by any inheritance.

Some info here www.litrg.org.uk/tax-guides/disabled-people-and-carers/trusts-disabled-people

Hope that helps.

[quote AnotherEmma]@Almostmenopausal
Ha, not a quick question to ask or answer
It's important for your mother to get proper legal advice on this, from a solicitor or a trust and estate practitioner. If she's appointing someone to draw up her will, she needs to make sure it's someone with knowledge and experience of trusts for disabled people. I think they will advise that if she wants to leave you money in her will, instead of leaving it to you directly, it should be put into a discretionary trust with you as the beneficiary. That way you wouldn't have direct access to the money, it would be controlled by the trustees, but it could be used to help you. It wouldn't affect your means-tested benefits. Universal credit is a means-tested benefit, and this includes all the elements. So if savings go above £16k and can't be disregarded, the whole UC award will be stopped.
However, your PIP award is not means-tested so that will be unaffected by any inheritance.

Some info here www.litrg.org.uk/tax-guides/disabled-people-and-carers/trusts-disabled-people

Hope that helps.[/quote]
Thank you so much! That's amazing I had no idea any of that existed.
I also didn't realise that the non-means tested element of UC would stop, wow. Yikes.

Just one follow up question if I may and I'll leave you to your evening?! The Trust you mentioned, if that were the case, would it be permissible for me to use the trust funds towards say, a deposit for a house (or the owned part of a shared ownership home)? Or does that go against the nature of the trust?

Thank you so so much! Your advice has brought much, much relief!

"I also didn't realise that the non-means tested element of UC would stop, wow."

There is no "non-means tested element of UC". It's all means-tested.

I'm afraid I don't know much about trusts; you or your mum would have to ask the solicitor or trust and estate practitioner about it. If I had to guess I'd say the money could be used for that purpose if the trustees agreed. I think (but I'm not sure) that your mother could put in her will who the trustees should be and that she could also write a letter of wishes explaining how she hopes it would be used to benefit you.

Why do you want to divorce? If it is not domestic abuse and you have just drifted apart is it not possible to just maintain the status quo till you have finished uni and got a job? You will have 2-3 years more pardon and could have sufficient income to get your own mortgage?

It's in reg 13, @Puddlesandbubbles:

13. An amount received within the past 6 months which is to be used for the purchase of premises that the person intends to occupy as their home where that amount—

(a)is attributable to the proceeds of the sale of premises formerly occupied by the person as their home;
(b)has been deposited with a housing association as mentioned in paragraph 12; or
(c)is a grant made to the person for the sole purpose of the purchase of a home.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukdsi/2013/9780111531938/schedule/10?view=plain

I have also succeeded in helping clients get that period extended when they are buying a new build that took longer than expected to be finished and once when a client was too unwell to proceed with a purchase.

Op, I would gather all your financial info. Follow all the useful links posted here, get a list of informed questions together - then go see citizens advice for their opinion. Once you’ve got that go see a solicitor for advice on the smartest way to proceed.

Good luck.