To wonder if my partner drinks too much

[Apacheshadows]

He’s in his mid/late 20s, and I’d say he drinks every other day.
His working in a bar doesn’t help as the staff are constantly bought free drinks or given them by management.
There have been a couple of occasions over the last few months where he’s come home covered in sick with no recollection of the evening or how he got home.
Once he started speaking totally incoherently and I was quite worried, I messaged one of his friends to ask what had happened but they didn’t answer.
He will probably drink 3/4 pints plus every other day, if not more.
He’s developed a beer gut which doesn’t bother me, but he keeps saying he hates it and needs to start exercising, yet this never actually happens. I’ve tried to encourage him a few times to do some sports together but he never does.

Not really much I can do, I don’t know if this is typical of many men of this age and I’m worrying for nothing, but even he himself has said it’s worrying. His boss is addicted to drugs and even does them during shifts which is awful.

Sound like there is alot going on there.
He probably needs to find another job first of all.

He seems to like it there, I think it’s the colleagues he has as well, all seem to be heavy drinkers/into drugs.. hopefully he’ll grow out of it

Three or four pints isn't anything to worry about at that age. As he gets into his 30s he will probably slow down naturally.

The not knowing how he got home and being covered in sick is more of a worry. I guess a couple of times in a few months is par for the course at that age, we've all been there. Keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't become a regular thing.

Is he at least aware of how much (roughly) he drunk on those evenings? If for example he regularly has three or four pints and is fine, yet occasionally gets to the point of being sick or having memory loss whilst still only drinking the usual amount that is a worry because it suggests he is being spiked.

Coming home covered in sick sounds horrendous.

You say 'there's not much I can do' but do you want to stay with someone who behaves like that and works in an environment where taking drugs at work seems to be acceptable ?

I am not against drinking, my DH and I drink regularly (and probably heavily by Mumsnet standards) but we don't throw up or get involved with people who take drugs.

You are so young, think about how you want your life to be, read some of the threads on here about people in relationships with heavy drinkers ... it never ends well.

@DrManhattan

Sound like there is alot going on there. He probably needs to find another job first of all.

^This.

But not probably, MUST.

Drunk , covered in sick, MORE THAN ONCE is so wrong.
I reckon he’s being egged on, or trying to keep up with other staff when the drinking starts.

By the way OP, consider the future of relationship. It’s not your job in life to be his Nurse/Crutch/Saviour

Drinking so much he has come home covered in sick ?

Why would you want to be with someone who is doing that?

He needs to change his job and look at his drinking immediately.

Otherwise you need to move on.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/calculating-alcohol-units/

He's drinking beyond "safe" limits. He is binge drinking too. He's also probably drinking more than he is admitting to you.

If you were my daughter, or my sister, I would say this relationship will not have a happy ending - but ripping off the plaster now is probably the best solution for you. Please do not contemplate having children with an alcoholic. You can't make him better, he has to do this himself.

he’s come home covered in sick with no recollection of the evening or how he got home

And you have to ask if he's drinking too much?! Of course he is. And just because others may do similar doesn't make it OK

I would hate this and would leave! Sorry!

Ew gross! LTB. If you're as young as he is life is way too young for this sort of shit. A beer belly in his 20s?! Gross.