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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on holidays anyway?

68 replies

ChimneyPot · 16/11/2021 14:01

We are due to go on holidays to the Maldives just after Christmas. It is for my 50th, totally my choice of holiday. There will be me, DH, 3 older teens and DS in primary school.

DH has broken his leg and is very likely to still be in plaster then. This would mean he would be on a fabulous beach/snorkelling holiday and unable to get his cast wet.

We have insurance and could cancel but I don’t know when we could reschedule it until. Eldest is away at university and others have state exams in 2022. So it would probably have to wait a year if not 2 years.

DH will go with whatever I want to do.

Am I being unreasonable to decide we go on the holiday?

OP posts:
HideousKinky · 16/11/2021 16:21

@Boood

He’d be so hot and uncomfortable on the beach with a cast, not to mention bored. Being in and out of the sea is the whole point of going to the Maldives. It would be like torture for him.
Our honeymoon was in the Maldives and I agree with this
FinallyFluid · 16/11/2021 16:27

Normally I am Mrs Pragmatic, but even I would cancel.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/11/2021 17:06

I'm assuming him saying he's happy to do whatever you want is his way of saying he wants to cancel but doesn't want to upset you. If he was genuinely ok with it he would just say yes to still going wouldn't he?

GerbilCurse · 16/11/2021 17:11

I'd check your insurance will cover him with his broken leg first as the decision might be made for you. If he falls and breaks e.g. his arm would an insurance company say he wasn't covered if the broken leg caused him to fall.

minipie · 16/11/2021 17:14

Ohhhh I feel for you but yes, I would cancel.

Even leaving aside the effect on him, it will be lonely for you if he can’t come on the boat or snorkelling with you or even sit on the beach due to getting too hot or sandy. Unless your DC will keep you company but they may be off doing their own thing.

You’d need to check re seaplanes too

Sorry. It sounds fabulous

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 16/11/2021 17:30

Would you consider going without him? (Bear with me!)

If I were in your DH's position I would probably prefer to stay home but would want you and DC still to go and not miss out.

If you went without him, could you have another break for just the two of you at a later date? If you have 4 DC and one primary age that could be a good break? DH could look forward it and enjoy peace and quiet of house to himself while you are away.

Or could you all have another holiday together next year anyway? (I may be wrong but Maldives for 6 and business class would imply you have the funds?)

So if I were your DH I would want you to go, and if I were you I would want to go because it sounds amazing! I would definitely go without DH with no guilt as long as he was happy with it.

maddy68 · 16/11/2021 17:32

How will he sit on a plane?

Anoisagusaris · 16/11/2021 17:43

We took DS on holidays with a broken arm and the hospital had to cut the cast and tape it up in case his arm swelled - they gave us spare tape to retape it if we had to loosen it.

We had a cover for the water so he was able to use the on site water park but not submerge the cast in water for long. We also had to avoid the beach.

It would be pretty crap for your DH even if the doctors allow him fly.

Dalooah · 16/11/2021 17:45

Life's too short, and if I was you and DH was up for it- I'd go. It's incredibly difficult trying to plan a holiday with so many people and as everyone gets older it only gets harder.
As a family we have come to a 'don't leave for next year, a holiday you can take this year!'

Maldives in December is definitely the best time- it's not half as nice in the summer- the sea is more rough, there's more rain etc.

Ultimately it's up to your DH if he's up for the journey, as it'll impact him the most- I think once you're there the views/food/general relaxed vibe will be nice!

Strangevipers · 16/11/2021 17:55

Can't you get full cast covers now for swimming ?

Mama1980 · 16/11/2021 17:59

Sorry op but I would definitely cancel. I wouldn't want my dp to struggle through the flights etc (I've flown in a cast and it's no much fun) and then miss out when there. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing he wasn't able to do all he wanted.

Howshouldibehave · 16/11/2021 18:02

I wasn’t allowed to fly when I’d broken my leg and it was in a cast!

icedcoffees · 16/11/2021 18:16

I would postpone it.

He'll be utterly miserable (and hot and sweaty) trying to navigate a sea/beach/pool holiday in a cast.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 16/11/2021 18:29

I can see why OP is struggling though. It's her big holiday chosen for her birthday, and her DH doesn't swim anyway. We all know what happens if you postpone something - it gets difficult to ever sort it happening. There have been lots of suggested solutions to the rigid cast on here. I'd be checking those out before calling anything off.

TillyTopper · 16/11/2021 18:34

I'd go to be honest. Once they get to teen years you may not have many more holidays with them!

HairyScaryMonster · 16/11/2021 18:34

I'd change it to something more suitable and rearrange the holiday for a year or two.

liveforsummer · 16/11/2021 19:25

Tbf it sounds like a bit of a poor holiday choice for DH even before the broken leg but if he can't even do the most basic things that's pretty unfair. Imagine sand inside a cast, being hot and not even being able to submerge even if you don't fancy actually swimming, not even seeing some basic but still fascinating snorkelling. All with a 12 hour flight to have this 'pleasure'. Next head sounds like the best option!

TSSDNCOP · 16/11/2021 19:33

A child with a broken leg at school was telling me her mother had bought a cast cover that was completely waterproof. But by then won't he have transferred to a boot?

I'd go. Business flights so the airport will be a cake, plus he can sit poolside and presumably the seaplanes have steps. Snorkelling he can pop on the cast cover.

tanstaafl · 16/11/2021 20:44

Insurance is rolling annual insurance we have had for 20 years so definitely predates broken leg

It might be an annual policy which you get a reminder email about renewal costs , you check , are happy and just let it renew but, if DH breaks leg on the 1st , policy renews on the 10th , you won’t be covered for cancellation ( is my understanding ).

Porcupineintherough · 16/11/2021 20:58

I dont know whether its possible for legs but when my dn broke his arm he had a waterproof cast put on so he could still shower/ go into the sea. That was in the States but it may be possible here esp if you pay privately.

Original poster
ChimneyPot · 16/11/2021 21:01

@tanstaafl

That would never have occurred to me but I just checked, the policy renews in June so broken leg and holiday within single policy.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 16/11/2021 21:03

Honeymooned in The Maldives. Incredibly hot, he’ll be sweltering with a leg cast.
I would postpone.

FrazzledY9Parent · 16/11/2021 21:03

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

Would you consider going without him? (Bear with me!)

If I were in your DH's position I would probably prefer to stay home but would want you and DC still to go and not miss out.

If you went without him, could you have another break for just the two of you at a later date? If you have 4 DC and one primary age that could be a good break? DH could look forward it and enjoy peace and quiet of house to himself while you are away.

Or could you all have another holiday together next year anyway? (I may be wrong but Maldives for 6 and business class would imply you have the funds?)

So if I were your DH I would want you to go, and if I were you I would want to go because it sounds amazing! I would definitely go without DH with no guilt as long as he was happy with it.

Very much agree with this. And with the posters who say that if you postpone it might never happen. Go with the kids, have a brilliant time, and do something separately with DH to celebrate your birthday.
MrsSkylerWhite · 16/11/2021 21:03

(That was decades ago, probably even hotter now)

SeaToSki · 16/11/2021 21:05

Is he weight bearing on the broken leg? If not then I think I would reschedule. If he is walking on it then I would still go. Get a wheelchair for the airports, let the seaplane people know (they will manage it) and get a scuba cover for the cast, they sell them on amazon. If he can be in a air cast by then, even better.

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