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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I overreacting?!

1 reply

Kathers17529 · 16/11/2021 13:53

I gave birth 11 days ago to my baby boy.. I also have a almost 4 year old girl who is a bit of a handful!
I have been feeling emotional every day since giving birth (which I know is normal) crying at everything and feeling quite helpless. My partner knows this but doesn’t understand at all.
This morning he went to his mums house (I wasn’t dressed or anything before he went and he left me with our two children). He then comes back an hour later and tells me they are following him up in the car and coming in to see the kids. I was very annoyed and upset over this as I had been given no notice. He said he did try and call me (I checked and it was ten minutes before he showed up so still wouldn’t have been a lot of notice). I then had the baby taken off me as they went in to the living room and because I didn’t feel comfortable I went out of the way upstairs. I wasn’t ready to be seeing his mum and sister while feeling this upset and with no warning. He just doesn’t understand why I could be feeling upset and annoyed by this and says it’s his house too and can do what he wants and that my mum comes round (although I make sure it’s plenty of notice or that he’s at work before inviting her round). He is now threatening to tell my mum not to come for my daughters birthday tomorrow if we are not allowed to have people round.
He doesn’t understand that i live here too and it wasn’t about them coming in and seeing the kids, it was about the lack of regard he had for me and how I felt. I don’t know if this makes much sense as I am still pretty upset as we have had a major row but I just want to know if I’m overreacting!!!

OP posts:
Meowwwwwww · 16/11/2021 14:04

YANBU and you’re certainly not overreacting! I’m sure your husband is brill in all sorts of other ways but this is extremely shitty. You shouldn’t have to worry about it right now but it sounds like you are going to need to put up some boundaries for yourself and your baby. Starting with, it’s not your husband’s decision whether or not your mother comes over. If your mother’s presence made him (genuinely) uncomfortable in some way you would try to mitigate the effects on him or postpone the visit, but he’s just saying it to prove a very nasty point. It is completely natural to feel more comfortable around your own mum when you are vulnerable and hormonal.

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