To think I may be autistic?

[EveryAction]

Hi all
I'm 29yo mother of two and my youngest child is possibly showing signs of being on the autistic spectrum which made me have this realisation about myself.
I will start by saying, I've always felt different. From a very young age. As a toddler my mum sent me to a private childminder as she didn't think I would cope in a normal nursery setting (not really sure why). In primary school I never had any friends, I didn't want any, I wanted to be alone and I am still that way. Social situations make me stressed and I make yo excuses not to meet up with people. I always remember, as a kid, only wanting to be around adults. I never felt like a child. I get obsessions and I fixate on things. I've suffered from anxiety and depression and I've never been able to put my finger on why. I notice little things that other people don't yet struggle sometimes to follow basic instructions and follow a conversation and I always feel I'm seeing things differently to how other people are .. I have two children yet have never had a proper relationship, my children were conceived from brief flings .. I have struggled to maintain a relationship due to the person wanting to spend a lot of time with me and be emotionally close to me etc. I grew up being called a loner, a weirdo, etc. I asked my mum about it the other day and she said, well I always knew you were a bit different, but these things weren't diagnosed back in the 90s and you seem mostly fine now, so what's the point. Maybe she's right ..

I’m in a similar situation, I’m 30 and my eldest is currently starting the pathway. She’s 10 and has always shown signs but nothing ever ‘worrying enough’ or concrete. We are both similar to how you describe yourself.

I’ve always known I’m wired differently, I can’t put my finger on it but I see people do certain things and think ‘how do you do that so easily?’
I’ve really struggled to learn to drive and I think that’s linked.

Why don’t you speak to your gp? There’s a lot more understanding about late diagnosis now, particularly in women as girls as so good at masking their symptoms.

Probably! It might be good to find out, it will help you understand more about yourself. I'm in a similar boat and mostly just felt relieved after finding out I'm neurodivergent!

@OddshoesOddsocks

I’m in a similar situation, I’m 30 and my eldest is currently starting the pathway. She’s 10 and has always shown signs but nothing ever ‘worrying enough’ or concrete. We are both similar to how you describe yourself.

I’ve always known I’m wired differently, I can’t put my finger on it but I see people do certain things and think ‘how do you do that so easily?’
I’ve really struggled to learn to drive and I think that’s linked.

Why don’t you speak to your gp? There’s a lot more understanding about late diagnosis now, particularly in women as girls as so good at masking their symptoms.

Thank you so much for your response. I can totally relate to the driving thing! In fact I've lost so many jobs because I can't complete basic simple tasks that are so easy for others. I get so embarrassed about it

Yes it sounds like you have lots of traits. It may help you to have a better understanding of yourself. Good luck OP xx

The point is that you may find a huge sense of relief when you are correctly diagnosed. I'm on a fb group and so many could weep with joy when that happens - it's hard to really describe why.
You can still use techniques and tips to help manage your autism without a diagnosis but (probably cos you're autistic) you won't stop worrying about being a fraud until you do.
Takes 2-3 years on NHS so you may as well get the ball rolling.

Thanks everyone. Another thing I forgot to add is that I suffer from OCD which gets worse when stressed. Not sure if related .. Maybe will contact GP!

I was diagnosed five years ago after feeling out of step with the world for my whole life. I've never felt as relieved or as liberated as I have since I was diagnosed. I too would suggest that you make it formal as soon as possible, in terms of starting the diagnosis process. Self diagnosing is incredibly helpful but doesn't really get you any proper support. Not that there's much to get. I'm excited for you to start this nice stage in your life journey. It's a good place to be after years of turmoil and confusion.

My GP told me I couldn't be autistic because I had a job, long marriage and children. I am autistic!! I started to realise when I was going though it with my youngest DC (oddly the penny didn't drop when the older DC was diagnosed)

I can't tell people enough how much of a difference it has made to my life. Even just understanding myself has been a game changer.

I had to go private because the GP wouldn't refer me. I was diagnosed by Anne Marie Gallagher (connect to autism) and it cost me £1200 but you pay in 2 stages and if she doesn't think you will reach diagnosis after stage one she doesn't take it further, so you only pay for the first part.

Wow. Are you me? 🤗 I have gone through exactly the same. My dad recently died and it’s brought up all the feelings from my childhood. It sounds so like yours. I’m now 51. So even less understanding in those days 😳 My son was diagnosed at 10. I realised I was so like him. However those his diagnosis meant some level of understanding and support it made little difference in his education. Maybe another 50 odd years and schools will all ‘get’ it. I only really found my way and became happy in my own skin on becoming a mother at 32. Before then I would list incredibly miserable childhood (when I heard my sister describe hers it was like mine was in a different family - and she’s only 2 years older) miserable childhood led to years of struggling to make friendships, lots of drinking, some mild drug taking, depression, suicidal thoughts and one serious attempt, weird fixations on men, endless one night stands and poor attendance work wise. I’ve now found my way. No point for me to go for diagnosis. It would confirm what I already know. I’m just going to move forward as reflecting recently on my childhood was devastating. And I’m over it now. I have peace. I have a beautiful 18 year old son who is finding his own way. He’s found a job that suits him and some amazing friends. I have a dog. Loving family. A few brilliant friends - one who held me as I sobbed and sobbed about my earlier years. I’m training to do a job I love. I am successful. I work with teenagers and I will do anything to help them through troubled waters.

This was like reading about myself! I've started to wonder lately too, as DS1 is on the neuro pathway and I'm looking at things differently.
I don't even know where to start with getting a diagnosis as an adult though

Info from the NAS about assessment for adults

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-assessment/adults

Thanks all for the helpful responses :-)