Argghhh

[Hlt87]

My baby is 9weeks old, I love her so much but I don't love her dad. It's getting to the point now where everything be does annoys the hell out of me. I really don't want to be with him anymore. We live in Cornwall and he's from Gloucester and he says me and his daughter are all that's keeping him here. I've mentioned that I'm unhappy and he said if I was to finish with him he would move back there to his family ( who by the way haven't met our daughter his mum expects us to go up there, and I've only just recovered from complications from the birth) I really don't know what to do, I don't want my baby to grow up not knowing her dad but at the same time I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't make me happy

Hep 😭

You’re not happy, he’s not happy. Him moving away doesn’t mean your child will not know her father. Staying together when it makes you unhappy is not a reason to stay together. This is 9 weeks in, can you imagine it for the next X amount of years?

What was your relationship like before you had your daughter? How long have you been together?

Having a baby is a massive thing and can take its toll on a relationship. You have to dig deep to make time for one another and your baby is so young. You will both be tired and its easy to blame each other for things that you would not normally have even considered to be a problem before baby came along

Aww OP this sounds really hard. I'd say though that at 9 weeks things are hard in a lot of relationships. Couples counseling? Is he a good dad?

I wouldn't make any big decisions when I had a 9 week old baby.
Mainly because I was so tired I couldn't think straight.
I hope you are ok.

I agree with @MartyHart. You don't say what your relationship was like before but at 9 weeks your hormones are still all over the place. There's baby blues or potentially even PND and you're inevitably exhausted. Maybe worth taking a deeper look before making any decisions. There isn't really enough info here for any of us to give informed advice.

We've been together about 18 months but since I found I was pregnant all affection stopped. If I asked for a hug, would be told not to beg as begging was unattractive, he doesn't help at home and if I ask him too I get called a nag. He took a month off work because I had a c section and I have two other children that needed to go to school. He would moan about having to take them, "I'm off to take YOUR children to school he would say" I would ask him to put some laundry on at 9am and he still hadn't done it by 1pm, so ended up doing it and got an infection in my wound at 2 weeks, took another 6 weeks and 5 lots of antibiotics to heal.
He goes to work and at lunch time you can see his online on Facebook but he doesn't check in to see how I'm doing or how his baby is doing unless I message him. I feel like he doesn't really want to be with me as the affection isn't there, he says he's an emotionally detached person, yet he was really sweet and affectionate when we first got together.
I asked him to take the baby one night as she had fed and needed winding but because I'm breastfeeding she kept rooting for me even though she had fed for a solid 30 mins and he said so basically you want me to walk around like a t**t.

So no the answer to your question is no i don't have post natal depression but I'm at breaking point over our relationship

oh he totally sounds like a waste of space. Just tell him to run off back to Mummy then, sort out CMS and tell him he's welcome to come and visit whenever, but baby being so young, it would have to be just short visits for now. Highly unlikely he'll bother from the sound of it. You were only together a few months before getting pregnant, your older two probably don't know him well and certainly don't need someone with that attitude around them anyway. You clearly don't love him. I cannot think of a single good reasons to keep this "father" around.

Well your update puts a different perspective on it.
I'm surprised you need to ask us, he's a waste of space and if he moves away at least you won't have to deal with him that much.

He sounds shit. Your baby will be better off without him tbh. Let him go, claim via CMS and start your new life as a highly capable and loving mum of 3. You’ve got this

So reading about him... yeah I can completely understand wanting to split. You are better off without him and there are ways to maintain her relationship with her dad. Video chat is a great way to maintain long distance relationships between children and relatives. My daughter is across an ocean from all of her grandparents but we talk on Skype all the time (2-3 times a week) and she's got an amazing relationship with them (and she's only 2!). She sees them 1 or 2 times a year and their relationship is so cute.

At first I thought you might be depressed and therefore misperceiving things; but after reading your description of how he acts, he sounds awful, and not at all committed to parenthood.