Siblings babysitting?

[Thob]

I’ve a 12, 10 and 8 year old. They are all pretty sensible and the eldest is in year 8 and we refer to him as captain sensible. The eldest stays home alone from High school when his terms dates vary from the two at primary school and we’ve left all three of them home quite happily when we’ve popped out on errands or to the supermarket. They’re always quite happy to be left and feel safe and can use the phone to call us etc. My OH and I want to pop out to an event one evening. We will be ten minutes away and won’t be drinking. Would it be horrendous to leave the eldest to babysit? The kids all say they’d be comfortable with him babysitting but I don’t know if it’s just a terrible thing to do?!

I think 12 is a bit young to be responsible for a 10 and an 8 year old. Maybe in a couple of years.

No I wouldn't. Your 12yo might be sensible but it's very young to leave them in charge of 2 younger kids. 12yo on his own is fine but not with the other 2. What if they play up. Or do something dangerous or don't listen.

Is it really worth it. There's so many things that could happen

At 8 a lot of children are capable of being left home alone. You wouldn't be unreasonable then to leave 3 children home alone over 8 together, provided you are satisfied they are safe (working fire alarms, contact details for you, discussion of what to do in emergencies)

No you can't do this. 12 is way too young to be in charge of two younger siblings

What does pop out mean?

Leave at 6 and come back at midnight on a school night? Pop out for an hour before bed or once they're down?

12 is too young to look after 2 younger kids.

I think fine for 5 minutes for you to pop to the shop over the road, but not to go out at night.

12 is too young to be responsible for siblings. Yes maybe pop to the shops for 5 mins during the day. Not go out for social reasons in the evening, which will also be longer in duration.

If he/she was 16yo then maybe, 12yo still fairly young IMO.

How late? Will the 12 year old have to stay up or would they be in bed. If the latter, would they wake and be able to handle an emergency if arose (fire, younger sibling being sick etc.)?

10 minutes away, can all use phones, no drink involved. I think it would be fine tbh.
I wouldn’t do it if I was further away or drinking so unable to rush back etc.

I have children that age and no way would I leave my 12 year old in charge of the 8 year old. Even if they were older I don't think babysitting siblings is fair on the eldest. It's not a regular household job that everyone should pitch in with like a bit of washing up.

If they all have a tablet or tv I’m sure they would all be happy to chill for a couple of hours.

I started going out in the evening when Ds1 was 13 and ds2 was 8. Just for a couple of hours and at a friend’s 15-20 minutes away. That was the age I felt comfortable with it. But it’s down to the individual parents / children / sibling dynamics, so while yours are on the younger side, you know them best.

I gave him a bit of extra pocket money for doing it, so he was always more than happy to.

back in the day, I used to baby-sit at that age for little siblings. But probably, my mother was around somewhere. It sounds as if the siblings get along very well, which is important. I may be out of touch, so I will defer to people who have kids closer to that age.

I would have done and have done in the past on multiple occasions. The 12 yr old (captain sensible DS here too) would not really be in charge though as they were all seriously sensible even then. Having said that, we were only ever within 400 metre walk away (think a campus location).

I had friends at the time though who said they could never leave their kids together as they'd kill each other, but those with kids similar to mine would do it.

Too young. I don't believe in siblings looking after siblings.

I’d do this (and have done it) with my kids.

If they all get on well, the younger ones will listen to the older one, are aware of what to do in an emergency and you’re only 10mins away and on the end of a phone then it sounds fine.

I would & did. My Eldest started babysitting younger siblings and neighbours kids at 12 youngest were about 4&6 at the time. Sometimes for a few hrs in the evening Sometimes all day in the summer holidays.

10 minutes walking or driving? I think if you are in the same village/same part of a town/city, then leaving them for half an hour or so would be okay. Driving to a different location, even fairly near I wouldn't at that age.

We have only recently started leaving the DC at home alone together if we are in the next village or town, they are 11 and 16. Same village, minute or twos walk, have been doing that since the eldest was 14/1/5.
Both are fine to be left alone for longer periods. Together friction can occur, particularly if the internet is being slow.

Only you know your family’s dynamics. A rather pointless question to pose to strangers I’m afraid, but if your children get on well and are sensible, and take notice of their big brother YANBU

I think 12 is on the young side tbh. Hard for him to manage if the others choose not to listen to him.