I want to run away I can't take any more

[123sunshine]

As the titles says I am at the end of my teather and seriously want to just get on a plane and run away from my family, I guess that would be unreasonable?!? My family feels really broken, I am angry/sad all the time, in conflict almost daily with either my husband (second marriage and not the father to my children) or one of my teenagers.
The last few days for me have involved, heart to heart with my daughter 15, she' not always easy, but bottom line is she's making waves that she doesn't enjoy stepdads company and he's a big problem in the house, they've been rubbing each other the wrong way for some time and clearly resentment has built, I think she would like me to end the marriage. Run in with my son 16 over college homework this morning, I lost my rag really quickly, the argument escalated, he swore at me, I got crosser, detals are irrelevant, but he went into college in tears and I went off to work in tears. I didn't help the situation my temper isn't great and I went from zero to a hundred in about 3 seconds and shouldn't have reacted how I did, it wasnlt helpful. There is a back story, I had a dreadful time with him in lockdown and much damage was done to our relationship and the whole family, his mental health spiralled, things had been so much better the last few months, but if im honest I still feel very damaged by everything that went on.
My relationship with husband feels like its hanging on by a thread, he loves me very much and I do love him, but we've been through so much the last couple of years and I am done with all the household tension. There is so much conflict and resentment and anger brimming under the surface in our family just wating to explode out. I am like the glue trying hard to fix everything and hold everything together, but everything I do is wrong and I can't fix everything. I am stressed all the time (I also have a stressful job full time running a business) and I guess as I am so stressed all the time i'm probably horrible to be around. I could write so much more but, the post would go on forever.
Anyone else ever feel like they've just had enough and want to run away from it all?

@Finknottlesnewt

Been there feel your pain. The only thing that worked for us was to physically separate. I was fed up being piggy in the middle. Selfish teens want all my attention (when it suits) and DH wants all my attention. I love them all but the kids come first .

So we moved. I live with the dc and their step dad lives up the road. I go and stay with him twice a week. He comes to mine once a week usually but alway at the weekend when the kids are out doing their thing.

Kids get my undivided attention. DH gets attention. I no longer feel pissed off all the time. If the teens are annoying I go stay with DH . If DH is annoying I go home. This makes both of them less selfish and behave better if they want me around.

Sounds like you’ve found a solution that works for you, albeit a drastic one. It is tough isn’t it.

@Fairylights25

The love you describe in your house is probably the best you can hope for (for now) until they have grown up a little, that is my view. It can be in short supply. Your dc are biologically preparing to leave, it is a hormonal shit show but it comes to an end.

Loving the phrase an hormonal shit show but it comes to an end! There is hope!

@Avarua

Your teens are absolutely in the thick of a phase in which they are (typically) selfish, un-pleasable, hormonal and angry. Don't throw away your relationship for the sake of a phase!! Tell you teens that their grandma is coming to stay for a couple of days (or whoever) and that you and DH are going away on a break. You want the house in the same state it was when you left when you get back.

Good plan, some time away I think would help a lot.

Another plan: tell your DD you want to go away with her, JUST her, on an overnight she gets to choose. Tell her you love her.

(assuming you've got money you can throw at relationship saving in a crisis)

@Avarua

Another plan: tell your DD you want to go away with her, JUST her, on an overnight she gets to choose. Tell her you love her.

We were due to do that last year had a trip booked to Paris for the weekend, got cancelled due to Covid. It’s still On the cards, still have the Eurostar vouchers, just haven’t rebooked as haven’t been mad on going abroad with all the differing Covid testing and rules. But will tell ok into and get booked up, for mum daughter time.