Help please sleep deprived

[Shnugglemumof2]

I have a 9 month old baby boy, who just doesn't want to sleep. He will only Co sleep in the day or sleep in his pram if we are out. The night is worse he has a routine of pj's porridge and a cup of milk (won't drink from a bottle) then bedtime. He will only sleep till 12 then won't go back down. The only thing that seems to get him back to sleep is going downstairs on the sofa and he cuddles back down. I check nappy, hes not hungry as doesn't want a bottle hence the porridge supper. He won't drink water. Not too hot or cold. He gets him self in such a state if I even just sit next to his cot and shh pat etc and I can't just leave him there. He's too wound up by this point to co sleep in bed with me. My question is should I just start off my Co sleeping and hope he just sleeps through? It's getting difficult with everyone's lack of sleep. 10 year old daughter and full time working hubby whose very tired come morning due to crying. I also go back to work in 2 weeks. Sorry for the long post I'm just so tired now and fed up and my poor baby is just shattered. I should add his last nap is at 3.30 and I aim for 7.30 bed time.

What happens if you lift him out of the cot and cuddle him rather than patting him?

I still remember my worst ever night. I was so exhausted I didn't even dare hold DC1 on the sofa. I moved his cot next to the sofa and sat there with my hand on him through the bars. He was screaming because he wanted me to hold him. I fell asleep. When I woke up he was doing that I've fallen asleep whilst crying and am sobbing in my sleep thing. Weirdly, he slept better after that.

Do whatever it takes that you get some sleep would be my advice. However, if you are extremely exhausted, I'd be wary of co-sleeping.

Try the Ferber method. We did it with our similar age baby and after 1 night he was doing 6h stretches. They need to learn to be able to settle themselves to sleep or will scream every time they wake even if exhausted.

Thanks for your replies, due to my other daughter I can't do any cry it out method's including ferber. I have tried letting him self settle but he gets him self in such a state I can't do it. When I lift him out of his cot he just pulls as if he wants to get out of his room if that makes sense.

as if he wants to get out of his room if that makes sense.
In that case, I'd look to see what you can do to get him used to his room. I would (and did) sleep on a mattress in the floor of his room and try not taking him out of his room once he wakes. You'll also find out if anything is waking him, how bright it is (would a night light help?) or maybe you being in the room will reassure him enough to go back to sleep. It's maybe not that he wants to get out of the room, but that he knows cuddles with mum on the sofa is what happens next and he wants that. Could you put a chair in his room too?

They need to learn to be able to settle themselves to sleep or will scream every time they wake even if exhausted.
Some never manage to learn this (DC1) And some are born able to self settle (DC2).

Try cuddling instead of patting.

Does he have a teddy or something similar?