Would you find this strange? Shoes off 👞 and flip flops 🩴 on

[Speckledhem]

I work in a role where I visit families in their home. I totally get it is expected in some homes that I remove my shoes, ok fine I do this if I must.

But…

I visit a family each week and not only do I need to remove my footwear but I have to wear a pair of flip flops (sliders) that they provide and leave at the front door for me to change in to on arrival.

It makes no difference if I have socks on or not, I am expected to wear pink sliders for the duration of my visit. I then change back into my own footwear when I leave.

I don’t know if these sliders are just for me or for all visitors.

They are a Chinese family- is this cultural? I find it absolutely bonkers.

Anyone else experienced this?

My first thought on reading the first paragraph was "are they japanese". In Japan it's completely commonplace and it would be very insulting to leave your outside shoes on indoors abd households have wooden sandals for guests as well as family. I note they are Chinese so it's more than likely cultural.

I've got a Vietnamese friend who does this. She gets out the ancient fluffy pink sliders then says "you don't have to wear them though, do you want to?" and I say "I don't mind, do you want me to?" and we go back and forth until I cram my size 7s in them and sit there feeling awkward. I've never thought to bring my own..!

Excellent. All sorted then!

I wonder if because it's in a professional capacity whether you could just say "nope, my shoes are staying on." I can't imagine for example a police officer who needed to take a statement would be permitted to take their shoes off. I don't see how it's "pushing their culture on to others" by choosing to keep their home as clean as possible

I’ve worked with many Asian families and have not ever experienced this, may be because some don’t expect to push their culture on to others. I also know how to use Google

Wow.

I worked with an Asian family where I had to do this. It took an admittedly embarrassing amount of time for me to realise how many other folk were also wearing them. I bought my own pair, the family were happy for me to do so.

may be because some don’t expect to push their culture on to others.

They're in their own home! It's not like they're telling people to do it in other peoples homes. Push their culture 🤣🤣

Just a further comment; your terminology 'push their cultures on others' doesn't show you in a good light.

Maybe you should request to only visit XYZ homes in future (for their sake, not yours).

What a nasty OP. You were hoping to have a go at Asian cultures. Wtf?

An old friend of mine is Chinese and I used to be given a pair of slider style slippers whenever I went over. I never asked why, I just assumed that it was a cultural norm.

@SleepingStandingUp

In what capacity are you visiting? Can they refuse to grant yo u access? Can you get shoe covers?

They don't want your dirty shoes in their home and they don't want feet which have sweated inside your shoes all over their carpet.

But then the OP doesn’t want to put her feet into shoes other people have worn.

I think the problem is that it’s their home and of course it’s their rules. But I don’t want to wear their cheap plastic sliders so I’ll do as others have suggested and bring my own slippers, i think that’s a fair compromise

I think bringing your own may be the answer.

This is normal in many many cultures.

If you're entering their household then I'd do as they wish.

@Speckledhem

I think the problem is that it’s their home and of course it’s their rules. But I don’t want to wear their cheap plastic sliders so I’ll do as others have suggested and bring my own slippers, i think that’s a fair compromise

Would you wear them if they were designer ones? You're not coming across well here OP

@FrangipaniBlue

I’ve worked with many Asian families and have not ever experienced this, may be because some don’t expect to push their culture on to others. I also know how to use Google

Wow.

Or you pushing your culture onto them?

Who decides which culture is correct?

Maybe you should suggest a Squid Game!

Older Germans still do this as well. There's usually some houseshoes you can borrow or you can bring your own. Usually a Birkenstock type deal though, because flip flops would be difficult with socks, as you've found!

We're shoes off here (DH is German and I just enjoy not having mud tracked into the living spaces!) but I don't mind shoes in the front hall and kitchen as neither is carpeted and that wouldn't be enjoyable to walk on even in socks.

I used to live in a country where this was the norm. I think there was something about honouring the visitor by clothing their feet. Don't know if this is the case here, but they might be trying to show you respect.

their cheap plastic sliders

Why do you care how much they cost? It's not a fashion show 🤣

As the people the OP is visiting don't want her to visit wearing her shoes why should she have to wear shoes that other people have worn? Surely she is able to express a concern too?

Yes, I get that if she brings her own pair of indoor shoes then that means both parties are happy but it seems she was just expected to wear these sliders.

If that is not what someone is used to doing and they would prefer not to wear other people's footwear then that's surely as ok as not wanting someone to come into your house wearing shoes??

I think all that's missing is a lack of communication about what is acceptable for both parties to feel comfortable.

You sound vile.

And so do your socks by the sound of things.

I’ve worked with many Asian families and have not ever experienced this, may be because some don’t expect to push their culture on to others. I also know how to use Google

i hope you're not this rude to their faces