To think I'll look odd on my own in a posh hotel?

[RainbowBriteUk]

I want to do something special for my birthday.

For the past 7 years before the pandemic, I've always gone away for my birthday with my now ex to a huge, beautiful mansion of a hotel. It houses hundreds of guests. I really want to go but I would have to go alone. I'm fine with that but would I look odd in the dining room eating on my own? I'm overweight so that makes me self-conscious anyway. I'm also in my late thirties and the guests always tend to be on the older end which would make me stand out even more.

You won't look odd. But if you're going to feel self conscious then perhaps it'll be less enjoyable?

How about starting a new birthday tradition for yourself that doesn't have the memory of your ex? A show? Or dinner out with family or friends instead?

I wouldn't care what anyone thought. They can think whatever they want, it shouldn't concern you.

When dining alone in hotels/restaurants, I always take my kindle for between courses.

Sounds glorious. Mix it up a bit, bring a book, order room service, go to another restaurant if you’re self conscious. But mostly don’t be… I would kill for a weekend alone in a hotel and I would relish every moment of it. You’re so lucky! Have a wonderful weekend.

Absolutely not, people travel alone for all sorts of reasons. Hotels are one of the most common places to see people eating alone. Go, and enjoy yourself.

Ask for a table by the window and take a kindle with you if you're worried.

I holiday alone often. I love it!

Absolutely nobody will think it’s odd or even give it more than a passing thought.

However I agree with @mildlymiffed, maybe start a new tradition and perhaps a slightly less grand hotel but explore some lovely local restaurants where you stay.

Thank you for your replies.

I do really enjoy it there and wouldn't be afraid of memories returning of our time together. There's lots to do there and I would be kept far too busy!

The dining is rather a formal arrangement as you might imagine and I wouldn't want to look out of place. I might ask for a quiet spot in the corner that I can eat at each night.

I've done a lot of solo travelling. I always have a book with me at meal times so I don't end up staring into space.

Go! Enjoy it!

Hey OP,
I'm late 30's and overweight too. I've had to do solo hotels stays a lot over the last year as I've been interviewing for jobs in various places across the country. I've learned to absolutely love it, and I was EXACTLY where you were with regards to feeling awkward eating in public while being on the bigger side. Honestly, dress up, feel fab and make the most of it!

I've stayed in fancy hotels for work by myself. I quite like it! Don't feel self conscious. No-one bats an eyelid

There is something wonderful, to me, about being solo in a gloriously luxurious hotel.

I do it when I can, and always see it as a treat.

Why would anyone care what weight you are? It's just as entirely acceptable for a size 8 to be in a hotel as a size 16 surely?

Go, enjoy, relax.

I absolutely love hotels/restaurants on my own so I definitely would. I did my wedding food tasting on my own (v posh hotel, my husband couldn’t come and I knew I’d like it on my own) and it was so much fun!
I’d maybe pick a different sort of hotel though if it’s full of older people and you went there with your ex, maybe a boutique city hotel where you could do some cool things in the day? I came into some unexpected money after someone wrote my car off and I broke my arm, I took myself to Amsterdam, stayed in a super posh hotel and did touristy things in the day and ate at nice restaurants in the night. It’s one of my nicest memories actually.

Do it! I do things like this on my own and honestly sometimes the first night does feel a bit awkward or scary but I promise you 1) it gets better and 2) nobody is looking or thinking anything negative about you.
Its such a good feeling getting over the fear and doing something you really love.

Go for it and have an amazing birthday! X

Take a book for dinner and no one will think anything of it

Can you eat in your room? I’m not saying you should but I’d quite like to have room service in a lovely robe and watch a nice film alone.

Aaaaah - I’m jealous. Go. You’ll love it.

I don't think you will stand out dining alone, but if you prefer you could always order room service which can be quite lovely in a luxury hotel.

God that sounds amazing. Read a book between courses. Heaven

Own it!
It is none of anyone else's business what you do. Eat in the restaurant, take something to read between courses, take your time and enjoy it.

Oh this is my dream! Go and enjoy yourself! Oh I'd want a huge tub, bed to myself, uninterrupted sleep, amazing food. Oh amazing. I wouldn't think it was strange if I saw someone alone.

I often see solo diners in posh hotels - don't think anything of it. When I travel alone I take a book at mealtimes as I enjoy reading anyway.

Please remember that when you're at a restaurant, you probably never even notice people who are eating on their own. Other people are too wrapped up in their own dining experience to even acknowledge who anybody else is dining with, or not. Of the many times women have been dining alone in a restaurant I've been in, the only time I've ever noticed someone was at a 3 Michelin star restaurant because I remember thinking: damn, that woman knows how to live!

Nobody else cares, honestly. I do this loads as I love a night in a hotel. The only thing holding you back is your own self-consciousness.

I work away a lot, and on a lot of those trips I end up staying in country house-type hotels (when I'm lucky - it depends where my event is, sometimes it's just a Best Western).

As a 30-something woman who's also a bit overweight, I don't give it a second thought and nobody's ever looked at me funny that I've noticed. I have dinner by myself while reading a book, go swimming if there's a pool, go for a walk round the grounds etc.

Go for it - nobody will bat an eyelid and you deserve a nice break, whether you're there by yourself or not.

I travel alone with work and for pleasure and no one has ever looked at me twice - or not that I’ve noticed! I always have a book (but not to hide behind, rather that I love to read). Enjoy!