Ungrateful at xmas

[Talayla47]

My bf was very ungrateful last Xmas. Got him an expensive gift but he was annoyed it wasn’t something he needed and wasn’t impressed with it at all. This year I’ve decided on 2 options either not to buy him anything and put money in a card. He loves opening presents but I will not put my money into things for him to be ungrateful. Second option to buy lots of rubbish from Poundland and wrap it up. Would this be unreasonable ? Im not one to expect gifts at Xmas because I work and can buy myself anything i want. Bought him a lovely photo album with photos of his daughter in it the other day and he didn’t even say thanks. Sooo ungrateful.

He sounds like a dick. Give yourself the gift of dumping his ungrateful ass.

Well, it would be somewhat U to do this on Christmas, but you should definitely address it with him beforehand.

Or just take PP advice and get rid.

And you’re still with him. I hate ungrateful people!

Have you asked him what he wants? I wouldn’t necessarily call him ungrateful because it was an expensive present.
My husband bought me a Dyson for my birthday a few years ago. Was it expensive yes, was I unhappy yes, was I ungrateful nope I don’t think I was.

Putting aside that it’s not ok to be ungrateful - why not just ask him what he wants. I had an ex who would buy me expensive presents but they weren’t things I wanted or would use so while I’d always say thank you I used to wish he’d just buy me things I’d asked for. With DH we tell each other what we want with varying degrees of how specific depending what is is.

Why wasn't he impressed with it? What did he actually say?

It's a weird one as there are loads of threads about one partner giving the other a gift they don't like. On the one hand posters say we should be able to tell our partners if we don't like a gift. On the other they say get rid of an ungrateful partner. There are two sides to everything.

You clearly didn't put any thought into getting him a present he actually wanted, then blame him for not liking what you did buy?

Just ask him what he wants. FWIW, I'm not sure many men would be overjoyed with a lovely photo album, that seems more about something you think is nice. Likewise, I can't see him being impressed with lots of rubbish from Poundland - as you say, it's rubbish. Just ask or alternatively, you could simply decide not to do presents at all.

I hate being bought stuff I don’t want, it’s a waste of money. I’d far rather you keep your money and don’t buy me anything. It’s not nice to feel bad about yourself when you know you seem ungrateful, especially on days like birthdays and Xmas when you want to be happy.
Please ask him what he actually wants !

If you bought me an expensive present I didn't want I'd probably not be overly grateful either. Why not just spend less on something you know he'd actually like?

What happened to the present he didn’t want last year?

I would ask him what he wants and just get one thing or leave it and tell him why. I wouldn’t go the trouble of getting lots of little things either.

Yes good idea. I will ask him what he actually wants. That solves everything. Not sure why I didn’t think of that!

Surprise presents are great when the giver gets it right but can be annoying when it's not something you want. A thank you should always be given but I think once someone reaches adulthood it's best to check beforehand that the gift is something they want before spending a lot.

What does he get you?

YABU-expensive present doesn’t mean good present, as a PP pointed out.
Also I wouldn’t be happy with a photo album-junk and clutter in my opinion, when all my photographs are stored electronically. Literally no use whatsoever for a photo album.

You seem to be deliberately provoking a situation?!

If you bought him something expensive last year that he didn’t want, I don’t blame him for not being impressed!

My MIL has made a lifestyle out of buying us presents we didn’t want, didn’t need and didn’t like and is then a total martyr because we aren’t dripping in gratitude.

After last Christmas, I think you should have had a conversation about it.

Why don’t you ask him what he wants and get that instead?

If you don’t like him and want to piss him off, then why don’t you just break up with him rather than playing stupid games?

I have just handed over my very long ChrIstmas list to my family. They will divvy it up and I will get exactly what I want. I'm quite specific and about colour, design etc. I will even give them webpage addresses as examples or even the actual thing I want.
This list has made their lives easier and my Christmas happier. I love Boxing Day examining what I've got, planning where it will go. Instead of wondering how I can nicely ask them to return it.

I really do recommend it.

What did you buy him last Christmas?

You're working way too hard for this relationship. What does he bring to the table for you

Bloody hell, buying shite from Poundland! Great idea! As a pp says, ask him rather than be pissed off that he’s disappointed again. Equally, tell him what you want. We’ve done this for years, nobody gets annoyed.

There is a current thread asking for the worst xmas presents ever. Some presents that some people have hated are described by others as a great present. A lot of us are cutting back on expensive, unwanted stuff being exchanged at Christmas. Always ask for a list and get the recipient something they want rather than something they hate.

Women on here often complain about their partner's presents to them. They claim to give really thoughtful presents in return. When I have queried the thoughtful present (looking for ideas) it always turns out to be a photo album

@FrankButchersDickieBow

He sounds like a dick. Give yourself the gift of dumping his ungrateful ass.

I agree.

How good is he at getting you appropriate presents that you actually like?

Why are you with him? He sounds horrible.