To feel like this?

[mildredhubble66]

Disclaimer: I think I probably am being unreasonable so this is just a sounding board more than anything!

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and have a dc from previous relationship age 10. Very happy about the pregnancy but noticed that understandably life is changing a bit. I tend not to see friends so much now as meeting at the pub was our normal and I can't drink now so things aren't getting arranged so much. I go to a lot of appointments on my own as dp works and tend to find myself waiting around or having a coffee alone a lot more than I used to. I'm not lonely pe se but my life seems to have shrunk a bit.

Dh on the other hand has recently had a promotion and doing a lot more. He is away with work quite a lot, next week for two nights and then the following month a long weekend. I don't mind this at all but while he's gone I have to told the fort at home (we are currently in the process of selling so it means I will be dealing with viewings which means constantly keeping the house tidy). Also dealing with three unruly dogs, once of which is very strong and Im worried about walking her while pregnant as she pulls a lot. And managing all of dc activities alone.

It's only a few days. I can manage. But I guess I just feel a bit like while my world is getting smaller and more stressful he is living the life of Riley in hotels and swanky bars. I know it's not a competition and I obviously chose this lifestyle but I do feel a little put out about the lack of thought for me at times. The dog this in particular has annoyed me because he doesn't seem to acknowledge how much I'll struggle to walk her while he's away and he's just expecting me to do it.

I'm being a moaner aren't I?

Are they his dogs? Ask him to pay for them to go to a kennel if it's too much.

No you’re not being a moaner, when do you get time to yourself when he holds the fort?

Could you get a dog Walker?

@cowburp they are our dogs but the big one is usually his remit because she's so strong.

On a practical note - get a dog walker if you can't cope walking the dogs, and get a head collar for the puller so she's more manageable on the lead.

@LawnFever when he's here is he helpful I can't fault him for that. And because it's work that's taking him away I feel like I can't say too much, it's not like he's choosing to go on a lads weekend or anything! I think it's just the lack of consideration for how I'll manage. I've had a pretty straightforward pregnancy so far but I'm getting bigger now and it's tiring doing my usual day to day stuff without throwing more into the mix and expecting me to just pick up the slack.

He’s not ‘helpful’ he’s being an adult, the things he’s doing aren’t your jobs that he’s helping you with, don’t fall into that trap.

I do understand OP.

My DH has had a promotion and is away 2 nights a week now, last week was 3 for example.

And I'm here, at risk of redundancy, hating my job and feeling like it all falls to me. And everyone is so happy and impressed with him (as they bloody should be, he is amazing and has done amazingly well). But no one appreciates, that actually without me, he couldn't do it.

Cause like you say, we're left to "hold the forte" so my sympathies.

Must be even worse when pregnant! Cause typically that is quite an isolating period anyway.

Can you throw money at this? Buy in help?

Also, tell him how you feel, nicely, ask him to reassure you that he does appreciate you and understands. Because honestly, it does help. Even if it makes you feel weak and silly.

Congratulations on your pregnanc.

@LawnFever what I should say is, he will happily hold the fort and look after my dc while I do things with friends (or did before I was pregnant). He's not useless in that respect lol.

However with this being his first child I don't think he fully understands how pregnancy can take it out of you. I think I will suggest kennels or a dog Walker as I really don't want to risk her pulling me when I'm pregnant.

Thank you @JustFrustrated it's good to know it's not just me!