To ask how you managed to give up alcohol

[JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome]

I am dealing with an incredibly stressful situation currently.

For some time I’ve felt my relationship with alcohol is unhealthy but I can see myself using it as a crutch. The amounts aren’t crazy (but well above health limit) but I’ve been drinking half a bottle of wine a night since this situation arose. I feel I’m using alcohol as a means to relax anc reward myself.

I have given up in the past the longest time being 6 weeks.

I know I need to focus and I can feel my own health is deteriorating and im having a flare up of an ongoing health issue that was fine till this week.

How do you do it? Is it just will power. It’s a tricky time of year with a few parties coming up. I did manage to go out this week and have one drink but the only way I could manage that was by driving there.

Any advice appreciated. Please be gentle I’m not in a good place.

At first I didn't go for alcohol free versions as it tempted me more to drink! Now I can occasionally enjoy them. I would try to find some nice soft drinks you enjoy instead for the time being.

I stopped naturally because there was an alcoholic in my family with major physical problems caused by the drink and it changd how I saw it. (He’s dead now.)

As long as you see alcohol as something relaxing, a luxury treat that you deserve, you will find it hard to cut down. Because of course you deserve to relax!!

When you start seing alcohol clearly, as overpriced low-dose poison that will rot your insides and are which doesn’t taste as nice as a smoothie or hot chocolate, it becomes easy to stop alcohol.

I have recently quit drinking alcohol. I was not a big drinker at all, used to be nights out/ weddings etc. After kids I started having half a bottle of wine probably twice a week.

Since lockdowns I was drinking maybe 3 times a week and often to the point of having a hang over the next day so probably 3/4 to a bottle of wine a night. I was waking up from sleep, I've gained weight etc.

I realised this was definitely stress drinking. Almost numbing out sadness and really didn't like what it was doing to me. I've quit and have no desire to drink again unless I know it would be for enjoyment- like a night out - my previous pattern.

For you I would consider keeping a diary of when you drink and why to start looking at the reason beneath your drinking.

I think it depends if you're someone who can achieve moderation, or someone who has to stop entirely. I would start by trying to have one or two glasses a night Friday - Sunday and nothing in the week. If you're able to control when you drink then you can probably aim for moderation. If you can't control it then it's probably time to try quitting entirely.

-My tip for parties and pubs is to have a go-to drink that you'll be able to find everywhere, so that when you're asked what you want you don't have to think about it at all and can just say orange juice or whatever. Time spent trying to decide is time when you can feel tempted.

• For parties, it's fine not to go. It's also fine to go early before everyone is really pissed and not stay too long. If you drive, drive there and then you have both motivation and explanation (not that you should need an explanation).

• I find it helpful to say to myself that I've never woken up in the morning regretting NOT having had a drink the night before.

• Avoid people who are likely to encourage you to drink.

• There are lots of nice non-alcoholic drinks around. If you find you want a drink to mark the end of the day, try to find one of these you like (for me, Seedlip spice with tonic and a slice of orange) and make it in a nice glass with ice etc. There's so much ritual around alcoholic drinks- allow yourself to create a ritual around non-alcoholic drinks as well.

• www.hipsobriety.com/ has a lot of good stuff.

• Try to reshape your thinking about alcohol. Look for role models who don't drink as a positive choice (there are lots)- I think social expectations around alcohol are changing- the younger generation drink far less than my generation and seem much more inclined to respect not drinking as a positive choice. So you're in the vanguard.

I went teetotal a few years ago after various drunk incidents, I am a very horrible drunk.
It was fairly hard for the first year now I feel slightly nauseated whenever I smell alcohol. I generally use the time I would have spent drinking to increase my water intake.
While other people are drinking pints of beer I'm drinking pints of flavoured water and feeling healthier as a result.
I cannot imagine starting to drink again now. It ruins your skin and stains your teeth. I have really noticed a fantastic difference in my complexion.