Inconsiderate neighbours

[GoingItAloneAgain]

I genuinely don't know if I am. I live in a flat and my neighbours dining room window is at a right angle from my bedroom window with a distance of 4 or 5 feet. They are both smokers and have window open all the time they are home as they smoke out of it. This can sometimes make my bedroom smell, especially in the summer when I like to have my window open but I figure that it's a minor annoyance and I have let it go. More annoying when they smoke a joint as I really don't like the smell but I feel like it's their home and we all have to put up with stuff like this when we live in such close quarters.

But what really stresses me out is the noise that they often make. Friday and Saturday nights are particularly bad as they use this room for socialising in and it's so bloody loud! Sometimes music but more often just 6 or 7 people talking loudly over each other so that I can literally hear their conversation word for word.

What should I do? I don't want to piss off my neighbours who are mostly nice and friendly but I kind of get the feeling they wouldn't take kindly to being asked to keep the noise down. Is it unreasonable to complain about people just talking loudly in their own flat with the window wide open?

I would mention that they have a living room at the front of the flat that if they used for socialising and smoking out of, would be considerably less disruptive for me, but we are on the ground floor of a busy road so they probably don't want to have to listen to the road noise.

It's getting to the point where I dread the weekends. I try to go to bed later than I would normally, just to avoid the annoyance it causes me. It goes on from about 6.30 pm until midnight or beyond so I can't use my bedroom as a relaxing space in the evening and sometimes I would like to be able to go to bed at 9.30 and curl up with a book.

I have a 2 year old so I am up relatively early and a lie in isn't an option to catch up on missed sleep.

How should I handle this?? I know it sounds petty, but it honestly feels like they have no consideration for other people nearby and it does make the weekend evenings pretty miserable for me.

I'd just speak to them - tell them that the poor layout of the building is at fault but the noise from their dining room is stopping you getting to sleep at night as they are only 5 feet away and their window is open.

Any reasonable person would appreciate that and offer to shut the window or move to the front of the house.

I agree, just speak to them.

What other option do you have? Please don't go for the passive aggressive note through the door, as some MNetters are bound to suggest.

It's possible they have no idea they are bothering you.

You are both right. I should go and tell them as they probably are blissfully unaware. I am terrible at complaining and I will no doubt end up apologising to them!

Speak to them, try to keep it friendly but focus on the points of why it is impacting you. If it continues or get's worse speak to council for noise abatement etc or even the landlord, depending on if you rent or not.

I'd shut the window. I'd use a fan or white noise machine in the bedroom.

Honestly I'd just look at moving.

Move. Honestly, it’s the only resolution.

Get a white noise machine for when your trying to sleep, honestly worth their weight in gold!

Could you swap the rooms around?

Could you swap the rooms around?

That was my first thought. As for the suggestion that you move, isn't it a bit premature. First you talk nicely to the neighbours.

When I was young and rowdy in a flat share, we honestly believed that noise did not travel in our building until a new neighbour came to ask us to keep it down, which we then did. When we expressed surprise that he was the first person to complain he told us that the other neighbours had been calling the police on us everytime we made any noise. So stupid. The police had never come round and asking us nicely solved the problem