To hate my daughter being at her dads?

[yogaqueenhood]

I'm a single mum to an 8 year old girl. We are very, very close. Of course she challenges me at time but overall she is a pleasure to be around and I love spending time with her. She goes to her dads every second weekend Friday to Monday and every second Wednesday and I really struggle with it. Every time she comes home I say I'm going to just cherish our time and try and use the time she is gone to relax but I never can.

When she is home I just feel this deep contentment and happiness. She also sleeps in bed with me. I hate how quiet the house is when she is at her dads, it just feels empty and I feel a pit in my stomach that I can't shake. Even if she's sleeping, I just feel better having her presence here.

I have hobbies that I do at the weekend, I enjoy my wine, good food, books etc. I volunteer on a Friday night but it's always the same when I come home at night I feel so depressed if she's not here.

Last night she didn't want to go to her dads, she always enjoys it once she is there but I know she prefers it here and misses me too, I felt awful making her go but it wouldn't be fair to her dad to keep her when it's his weekend. We have a good relationship so I do consider his feelings when making decisions.

I also worry so much about what I'll be like when she leaves the house when she's older. I really wonder what the point in my life will be then.

AIBU to think this is a strong reaction? Or do other parents feel like this? Not even just single parents but maybe when children are at sleepovers etc? I just feel like a body part is missing when she's not here. Funnily enough I'm fine when she's at school, it's always at night time I struggle.

When my dd is with her father I feel like my mini me is missing. We are also very close. And she still comes into my bed. Something I am trying to stop now she is older.

My dd needs to be more independent of me. And this comes as they get older. And want to spend more time with her friends.

When her father left it was a difficult time for both of us and we needed each other. I realise this wasn't healthy and try to encourage more distance.

Dd goes to her dad eow. And I have to say I look forward to it now. She is rather intense. And has ADHD traits.

Her brother is none contact with his father. Older and although independent has asd and adhd. So he is very much a home bod. And I'm working hard to support him to build relationships away from me.

I also recognise that I can't make them my sole being. As much as I want to cherish every moment. I need my own adult friends and company. I wfh so other than family. My world is rather small.

I have been single 4 years now. And with Covid and lockdown I am working hard to make these changes as it is healthy for all of us.

I remember my friend being in tears eow when her two went off to her ex. It’s one of the reasons many women put up with less than perfect relationships.
I think you’ll just get more used to it, and when she’s a teen it might be a blessing

When the eldest left for university x