I know IABU - please help!

[chippedchocolate]

Right so I know IABU so please talk down a 37w hormonal pregnant (near tearful) stroppy mess.

DPs best friend is in town this weekend. They went out at 11.30am for an activity together (a group of them). It started at 12.30 and went on for an hour. He texted when finished and said they were going for a bite to eat. He called at 3.10 and said "just off to the pub for one".

Now I know his mate hasn't been around for a while (6mo) and he's back off overseas to work for the foreseeable, tomorrow.

Please tell me IABU to be annoyed at this? I was initially under the impression that the activity + lunch would be pretty much the extent of the day. Evidently "just one" at 3pm really hasn't happened as it's now half six. I've got 2 DC (12 & 10) at home and I'm shattered.

I can't be too cross with DP, really, though can I? He's not been out for months (pandemic) and months.

No, you can't be too cross if it's a one off. Can your older one make you drinks, food, tidy up so you can put your feet up?

I don't think I'd be mad at him to be honest. And surely your 10 & 12 year olds are pretty self sufficient at this stage, you should just be able to rest?

Thank you @iklboo - I knew you'd be more sensible than me. Yes feet up is a great idea. It's silly I know - I have such a tendency around this time to just cry from tiredness and I know that's why I'm stroppy. 😔

well, you're upset because it was not your expectations, and so you feel let down.

In reality, if this is unusual and friend hasn't been round for ages, then it is totally not a big deal.

10 and 12 is old enough to say - stick some pizzas in the oven and make me a cup of tea please.

Put your feet up, find a film on netflix and relax.

I can totally understand your reaction. I can imagine feeling the same. You know though that it would be U to be cross with him. You are owed time off tomorrow though.

Pregnancy tired is like NO other tiredness. I feel for you.

Have a nap. Or just chill with the kids. Or let the kids chill and you chill separately.

Your kids should be able to get themselves drinks or snacks and sort themselves.

Treat it as one of the last few evenings you can relax for a while. Take advantage of having dp out of the house.

Try and look at the positives

In the nicest way YABU.

PJs and a film on , takeaway if you've not yet had dinner, and hope he's suffering for it in the morning!

You’re tired, heavily pregnant and awash with hormones, it’s ok to feel weepy.

He’s done nothing wrong, he’s out with his mate while he has the chance. Put your feet up, phone for a pizza and give yourself an easy evening.

I don't blame you for being annoyed if he's said just for one and he's been hours - he could have let you know. If it's a one off I'd let it slide but make sure he does everything for you tomorrow - even if he is suffering 😅

In the mean time - bath, pjs, take away and a film!

(((HUG)))

Being pregnant is tiring!!

I totally understand where you're coming from, totally.

However, age & hindsight tell me that what he's done is as predictable as might following day.

From the outside I'd say order takeaway to be delivered, and find a film you & the kids would enjoy or whatever floats your boat. Which might be them playing in another room while you read a book or all of you playing a game.

Just plan as though he had said he'd be out for the evening.

Then I'd call/text him to say 'the kids and I are having a takeaway & watching a film. No need to rush if you're having a good time with 'Fred'

But at the time & in the middle of it I'd be upset & would probably have text him & told him he was an arse & I was fed up eith his crap 🤣🤣

Thank you all for being far more measured and reasonable than me!! It's really helpful - so thank you.

DC have now had pizza and I've called for a takeaway. Snuggled on sofa in largest size PJs and about to watch Home Alone.

You're all stars. An evening in with the DC and a Christmas movie sounds like the way forward! And some extra (for the baby obvs)

Yabu, sorry

He should have told you it be an all day thing though

Sorry cross posted. Well done for working through it

@chippedchocolate

Thank you all for being far more measured and reasonable than me!! It's really helpful - so thank you.

DC have now had pizza and I've called for a takeaway. Snuggled on sofa in largest size PJs and about to watch Home Alone.

You're all stars. An evening in with the DC and a Christmas movie sounds like the way forward! And some extra (for the baby obvs)

Good on you, OP! Feet up, relax and be kind to yourself.

Remember, be endlessly forgiving of yourself when pregnant, because on a cellular level you’re very very busy.

Remember, be endlessly forgiving of yourself when pregnant, because on a cellular level you’re very very busy what a lovely way to put it!

Remember, be endlessly forgiving of yourself when pregnant, because on a cellular level you’re very very busy.
This is wonderful and made me weepy and I’m not even pregnant (just trying to be). Writing it down so I can give my future self a little talking to.

You're allowed to be stroppy, tired and a teeny bit unreasonable. I full on ugly snot cried & accused DH of not loving me in the middle of Asda. Because he accidentally dropped my strawberry tart .

Enjoy your film & pizza.

See, even if he'd said they were going to the pub and he'll text when he's heading home rather than going for one (which it rarely is when it's friends catching up) and then you sitting at home wondering why he's not home yet!

Glad you are now sorted with takeaway and film but I'd be having a chat tomorrow with him about expectations and the fact you are now edging closer to the any day now point of pregnancy. Though with 2 already I'm sure he's aware of that fact.