To worry so much about the past

[Eliphanbee]

I have made many mistakes in the past, with fortunately no ill effects at the present, apart from perhaps my own mind, and guilt for my past behavior.
I was a party girl prior to having DC, which carried on for a few years. I spent time hungover, which affected my parenting which I feel so, so guilty for. She had good people around her otherwise, which I felt would somehow justify my behavior (I know how awful that sounds!)
I'm teetotal these days, have built up a good career, and get on so well with my DC (though she compares us to siblings, so maybe I'm not doing things completely right!).
I am accused of pandering to her too much, which I think may be due to the guilt of how I used to behave
I have a lot of other regrets too, and wonder if I need to accept these as part of me are always there

This is the kind of guilt that's absolutely pointless and if you do keep beating yourself up for it, I'd have to wonder if there's something you get out of doing so, because it's completely useless to anyone else. If it has any effect on them at all, it'll be to make them feel they have to keep reassuring you.

Who's accusing you of pandering and why? That's more likely to be the issue. Do you think that if you keep feeling guilty, you'll somehow appease this person or prove them wrong?

Move on, you can't change the past and no one is perfect.
It took me a while to adjust to parenting when I went back to work as I loved drinks on Friday night with my colleagues. My DS was with my parents so safe but looking back, yeah I probably took the piss but no harm done.

You're twisting yourself in knots for no reason.

Also how old is/are DC?

thank you for your replies, I appreciate them. My daughter is 13..my partner accused me of pandering to her,which I do. I haven't told him how I feel re guilt though