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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel there is a lack of hope for this generation?

120 replies

floridapalmtree · 13/11/2021 14:45

Is there any hope for this generation?

My daughter has worked hard through school achieving good exam results. Studied hard at university to get a degree, worked during a placement year. Started work and is working long hours. Living in London paying most of her salary on rent, bills and basic living. Not earning enough to save much each month. It seems impossible to buy a property or start a family. We have encouraged her to work hard to achieve a better life but she is tired, stressed and has little hope for the future. Unless there is a large family injection of cash I can't see how this generation can progress towards a decent life.

OP posts:
Ricetwisty · 13/11/2021 15:41

Myself and a lot of my friends worked in London for 5-10 years following graduation for the experience and to build out careers at a faster pace than would have been possible elsewhere. Now moved a commutable distance away but actually work walking distance from home in a very well paid job, with a nice house. Even back then very few people, if any could buy in London.

madisonbridges · 13/11/2021 15:41

The opportunities that are presented to young people today are massive. They're not tied to a career for life, they can move around, travel, apply for education overseas. Every generation experiences challenges in some way or other. I remember when I held a ca position in the civil service, back in the late 70s/early 80s, the young women who worked there could never expect to buy a house on their own. They were all looking for husbands who would be able to get a mortgage. They didn't have the opportunity to travel in the same way either. Their horizons were a fraction of what is possible for young people today.

Pedalpushers · 13/11/2021 15:44

Not that my advice is 'marry rich' but @xmasfairy21 has one thing right, being single in London is basically a tax. My disposable income shot up massively when I started living with my DH and I went from scraping by, living in dodgy flatshares with drug dealers, choosing between food and transport to work, to feeling relatively comfortable.

While she is at entry level it is going to be a massive struggle, I would encourage her to get working on experience and skills for her CV, work on interview skills and move companies as often as possible for a few years to get better paid more senior roles. Staying in one role hoping for experience and promotions is a fast track to nowhere and companies don't care about loyalty anymore.

Porfre · 13/11/2021 15:45

She'll need to move.
But personally at her age I think it's better to get out of the UK before shes put down roots.

There's lots of countries where people have a much better quality of life.

Tealightsandd · 13/11/2021 15:45

London is the epicentre of the public health housing and homelessness emergency. 165,000 Londoners are homeless. Two thirds of England's homeless families in temporary accommodation are in London. Things are unlikely to get better for Londoners because successive governments don't care about them.

The good news for your daughter is she doesn't have to live in London. I'm assuming by your post (apologies if I misunderstood) that she's not from London? Londoners face discrimination and bigotry outside of London from locals elsewhere, but as a non Londoner she won't experience this problem. She also doesn't need to stay in London to be close to family for support networks or family help eg. with childcare.

If she's finding it too much of a struggle, she's well advised to move back home or elsewhere in the UK.

Tealightsandd · 13/11/2021 15:47

@Porfre

She'll need to move. But personally at her age I think it's better to get out of the UK before shes put down roots.

There's lots of countries where people have a much better quality of life.

Yes this.
ronfa · 13/11/2021 15:47

Unless there is a large family injection of cash I can't see how this generation can progress towards a decent life.

Yep & it will be more important than how much you earn. What about those that don't have the cash injection?

Plus increased tax hikes & more pressure from an ageing population.
It doesn't help those left behind but I would encourage any young people to emigrate. Luckily my dc have European passports.

ronfa · 13/11/2021 15:49

Your life progression. 5% deposit is fine

it's not though if you want the good mortgage deals & the chance to build equity hence why so many people are stuck on the ladder.

ronfa · 13/11/2021 15:50

I couldn't afford to live bit of UK I grew up in never mind London.

Think of the many Londoners who are born there.

WakeUpLockie · 13/11/2021 15:51

Yep was the same for us in 2008 onwards OP. No money spare. Yes to working in IT or finance and yes to family cash injection or moving further out.

ronfa · 13/11/2021 15:51

In 2005 it was VASTLY easier to buy property in London as a single person. And as for your 'advice' to marry a man in IT or banking .

Let's not forgot the 08 crash & the resulting wage stagnation

Naughtynovembertree · 13/11/2021 15:52

Op I know what you mean because it's so incredibly hard to get in the housing ladder BUT...
In my dp day, they started out living in the front room of their family when married, or got a caravan, or a bed sit.

Now people expect to go from uni into fully fledged flash flats.
Maybe they need to lower expectations.

inferiorCatSlave · 13/11/2021 15:53

My Dad was born before end of second world war - he grew up with bombed out buildings and ratioing.

I was born in 70s with 3 day week and grew up in the 80s were the manufactoring indursty that paid the main wage was decimated under Thatcher. MIl isnduraty wa steh same and FIL had to go abroad to find work for a large part of DH childhood.

Before that my DGP grew up in absoulte poverty and DH ancestors escaped mass famine and many died in the workhouses. I think my children have more prospects than many of their ancestors.

I'd be wary about mesages being sent to your DD. DH earned about same as me and had lower outgoings but never saved as hard or as long as I did because he parents passed on the message that it wasn't worth it - we'd never get on the housing ladder as house prices were insane. It took us over a decade longer and many parts of the UK were out even now can't afford to live in city he works in - but we have a lovely house an dlargely dow n to fact I'd had a well paying job and saved hard over many years.

I do understand it's getting harder all the time - but there are many other option still open to her.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/11/2021 15:53

@madisonbridges

The opportunities that are presented to young people today are massive. They're not tied to a career for life, they can move around, travel, apply for education overseas. Every generation experiences challenges in some way or other. I remember when I held a ca position in the civil service, back in the late 70s/early 80s, the young women who worked there could never expect to buy a house on their own. They were all looking for husbands who would be able to get a mortgage. They didn't have the opportunity to travel in the same way either. Their horizons were a fraction of what is possible for young people today.
That's cos equality laws were shit and women couldn't get a mortgage in their own right. What women DID have the choice of then, however, when they did marry and had kids, was to stay at home or go part time rather than putting their children in FT childcare, and the mortgage was still affordable on the one main wage. It just isn't these days. Choices have been taken away from people, regarding how they bring their family up, all because of high housing costs. Nurseries are struggling to recruit because the wages are so low that no-one can afford to do job and afford a home or family of their own (bought or rented). We are working and working and working just to afford to live, and at this rate there soon won't even be anyone to mind our children while we work.....it's absolutely mind-bogglingly nuts how we as a society have managed to get ourselves into this situation....
madisonbridges · 13/11/2021 15:54

Plus increased tax hikes & more pressure from an ageing population. It doesn't help those left behind but I would encourage any young people to emigrate. Luckily my dc have European passports.

Good idea because there's no aging population problem in any other European country.

ronfa · 13/11/2021 15:56

Now people expect to go from uni into fully fledged flash flats.
Maybe they need to lower expectations.

Do they actually though?

Saltyquiche · 13/11/2021 15:56

Unless her salary is top whack it’s best to look at other more affordable cities.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/11/2021 15:57

It's always a shame when the first response is dreadful.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/11/2021 15:57

Oh gosh, not first, sorry @Dervel
I meant 2nd response!

thepeopleversuswork · 13/11/2021 15:58

What’s with the “marry a man in IT/banking” and “settle down early” advice. Yuck. Does no one encourage their daughters to do these things for themselves?

London is punishing for younger people I grant you. Which is partly why a lot of younger people are sensibly choosing to work elsewhere. This is a big structural problem.

On the plus side though remote working has become very normalised now and companies are crying out for bright and well qualified staff and no longer require them to rent a box room in South Norwood and commute in every day.

Berkeys · 13/11/2021 15:58

@xmasfairy21

Tbh I'm 38 and moved to London with pennies at 21 after 2 degrees and £40k of debt

My advice

  • try and meet a life partner younger if you can share costs inc rent means can save more
  • buy a grotty place as soon as you can do not wait as will hold up
Your life progression. 5% deposit is fine. Get a part time job to save up the money needed
  • don't blow money travelling clothes glamour. Save for flat

Once bought a property and met someone life is much much more affordable and easier

Oh and get a side gig if you can. Extra £2-5k a year comes in handy.

Nothing has changed in my view from graduating in 2005 to now. Have to face it out and be focussed.

This
ronfa · 13/11/2021 15:58

Good idea because there's no aging population problem in any other European country.

Who claimed that?

madisonbridges · 13/11/2021 15:58

@CurlyhairedAssassin
What are you talking about...That's cos equality laws were shit and women couldn't get a mortgage in their own right ? 😂😂😂😂 It was the 1970s/80s not the 1870s.

Whinge · 13/11/2021 16:00

@Naughtynovembertree

Op I know what you mean because it's so incredibly hard to get in the housing ladder BUT... In my dp day, they started out living in the front room of their family when married, or got a caravan, or a bed sit.

Now people expect to go from uni into fully fledged flash flats.
Maybe they need to lower expectations.

I disagree. Around 70% my uni friends moved back home to save for a deposit. The 30% who didn't return home rented shitty flats or room shares away from home.

No one expected to live in a fully fledged flash flat.

madisonbridges · 13/11/2021 16:00

@ronfa

Good idea because there's no aging population problem in any other European country.

Who claimed that?

You did when you advised people to move because of that problem.