to ask someone not to swear in babygroup setting!?

[moljam]

a mum at babygroup constantly swears,is loud and obnoxious.everyone discusses how it annoys them behind her back but not too her.so today after a few more f's and whatever i decided to say something!!(im very shy!)so shaking the whole time i pointed out that it wasnt good language to use at babygroup and that although im sure we all swear occasionally,she has no right to do it infront of my child.she shouted lots-in middle of little xmas party full of toddlers,then i moved away to play with ds she continued talking about me so i left!only thing that really got me was that no one else stuck up for me!!should i have not said anything and ignored it-so letting ds think its ok.

yanbu!

I would say something too. Even if the babies are too young to understand it's still completely inappropriate.

Well done for standing up to her and saying something despite your shyness! YANBU, she shouldn't be swearing in a toddler group. I'm shocked that no one else stood up for you, but perhaps she'll think twice beofre swearing again in these settings, or maybe even not go back to that group?

YANBU. I can swear like a trooper but there's a time and a place, y'know?

It's a bit sad if someone can't articulate their thoughts without swearing.

Well done for saying something - you must be really irritated that no-one backed you up.I don't mind swearing generally (both me and dp can be fairly foul mouthed at times!) but I agree it's a v bad idea in front of toddlers.

YANBU and I am almost more at the other mothers not having the decency to support you than at her, since they all apparently agree with you!

Well done for sticking your neck out. At the very least you might make her stop and think about what comes out of her mouth.

Is this a toddler group or a baby group? Because when DS was younger and we were going to baby groups all me and my other new mum friends could say to each other was 'f888, I need some sleep'.

you might have been better tackling her alone rather than in front of everyone, would have put her on the defensive. but oyu were right to say sometihng if it was a lot more than 'sh*t, i'm so tired!'

was there no leader to back you up?

my reality is Speccie's.
but if anyone had ever complained I would have been mortified and sooooo apologetic.
but camilla is probably right about alone better (though would that have been too scary?)

do think, though, that the others need a good kick up the f**king arse for being so weak when you were so strong...

does she say it nastily or is it just part of her general vocab

because to be honest a baby isn't going to pick up on the word 'fuck' but will on a vehement toned expression

that's so true Magrat.
I kept mine away from shouters, frowners, and crosspatches/aggressors in general.
tho have soft spots for my 'too tired to think of anoother adjective' friends..

Mext time be prepared to drop the gutless wonders in it if they show no signs of backing you up ie - "the other ladies sitting here with their mouths shut were saying the same behind your back last week. Just thought it would be better to say it to your face while they wait for their spine donors to come through".

You've burned your boat, no reason why you shouldn't burn everyone elses.

Good for you

no leader at the time,she was busy but apparently she was told after i left and had words with the mum.
it would have been better to take her aside but it was as follows.

f ing whatever(after sentence which included other swearing)
so i said can you not do that please ,she said why i said you do it alot and i find it offensive.etc etc so was in conversation at first.

its a baby and toddler group.wasnt in context of im tired it was slagging someone off.i do swear and will admit i occasionally do infront of dc but after say im sorry that was a bad word.i wouldnt dream of sitting with other peoples children using that language,its not time or place.

lol spine donors!

Magrat,both part of normal conversation but can sound very confrontational and loud.i dont think she does know shes doing it half the time but its still had to be said i think.

why did it have to be me though(shaking!)

if not you then who?

you did the right thing

If the other mums are all moaning about it behind her back, they should have stood up for you when you finally said something. I feel disappointed in them on your behalf, really.

Most people are pretty week and let others do unpleasant stuff ( I speak from bitter experience) but you didthe right thing and I am sure that she felt thoroughly ashamed of herself.
Despite her aggressive respons I bet she is cringing inside and feeling like a big coarse oaf (which she undoubtedly is.)

Good on you!

good on you for saying something, I do swear at home and sometimes it is when my dd's are about but would not do it in front of other peoples LO's

love catinthehats suggestion!!

what are you doing, mixing with such chavs anyway?

Good for you for moljam. Go to another group - they sound like silly cows anyway.

FranticPants !!
theres only one other group near here and its at nap time and only one other person goes!!!more staff than families!
apart from the two faced not sticking up for me bit most the people are nice.maybe i'll start taking ds swimming more again.
its ds party tomorrow and most the people invited are from baby group-including swearing girl!

Good on you for saying something.

Have to say I am very bad at this - I don't actually find swearing that offensive so often do it without thinking and certainly don't mean any offense. Dh and I are trying really really hard to not swear in front of the ds's and I certainly try not to in front of other peoples children

She sounds like a right mare. If someone pulled me up over this I would be mortified and apologise repeatedly!

The other women deserve a kick up the jacksie for not standing up for you too. pmsl at catinthehat's comments!

So no, YANBU. She is and they are and so am I for having a foul mouth!