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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move schools... again.

29 replies

OnTheB · 13/11/2021 11:33

WWYD?
Move home on the 18th Oct, my 5 and 6 year old had to change schools.
The School closest didn't have any places for my 6 year old, so I applied to a school that did.

My 5 year old got a place my 6 year old didn't by the time the application went through.
My 5 year old started and I'm home schooling my 6 year old while he's been placed on the waiting list for a place.

My thoughts are; It's been 2 weeks, I don't have the best feeling about the school my daughter is currently in, also its a 15 min walk with my 1 year old and my 5 and 6 year old, my son is now on the waiting list.

I'm thinking of applying for the closer school. My thoughts are, my 5 year old wouldn't miss any school as she would finish this school and start the new one the following school day. My 5 year old has only been there 2 weeks , said not fussed about going to another school (already had tears over 2 girls not being very nice- teacher explained this was common with these 2 girls 🤨) If my 6 year old doesn't get a place, he's in the exact same situation he is now but at least my daughter is in a closer school, which will make life for us all 100 times easier.
He can go on the list at the closer school and continue to be home schooled, like he is now.

WWYD? Please be kind, this has been A VERY stressful, upsetting week. I'm just looking to get some other opinions on this. Thanks

YABU - Keep 5 year old in school shes in.

YANBU - Apply for the closer one, I would.

OP posts:
Eltonsglasses · 13/11/2021 11:35

The School closest didn't have any places for my 6 year old, so I applied to a school that did.

My 5 year old got a place my 6 year old didn't

I can't really make sense of this. Are you saying neither school had a place for your 6 year old? In which case the logical thing would be to apply to the closer school?

DeepaBeesKit · 13/11/2021 11:35

I would have. Your 5year old has barely started they wont miss it.

Eltonsglasses · 13/11/2021 11:35

But yes I would t think twice about moving a 5 year old after just a few weeks

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 13/11/2021 11:37

Has the LA offered any school for the 6yo? Or have you said you are homeschooling, so they are offering no help?

Eltonsglasses · 13/11/2021 11:38

@Eltonsglasses

But yes I would t think twice about moving a 5 year old after just a few weeks
*wouldn't
Reallybloodypainful · 13/11/2021 11:39

My 5 year old got a place my 6 year old didn't by the time the application went through. Did you question how this happened? Was there a space at the time you submitted the application?

15 minutes doesn't seem like a very long walk. I would do some investigating on where you are likely to get your six year old in first and stick with that.

Elpheba · 13/11/2021 11:41

The 5 year old won’t have settled in properly after just 2 weeks so go for what makes life easier with the closer school and wait for a place to come up for the 6 year old.

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 11:45

Sorry if it makes no sense, I've not slept well.

(School A closest school. School B, further away and my year 1 child is now in)

Well, school A had no year 2 places.
School B Did. I applied for school B for both kids and my Year 1 child was offered a place and my Year 2 child was not. ( they said they had no placements 🤨) I only applied for the school B to get them BOTH into school ASAP. As school A had already stated they 100% had no Year 2 places.

My year 2 child was offered a place 35 mins away!!!! Which no chance. Also, my year 1 may not get in! 😑

Does this make more sense lol.

I just feel like, I may aswell now move my year 1 child to the closer school and my year 2 get on their waiting list as, it would be the same situation as now but in a school 5 min walk away and not 15 min walk.

OP posts:
zingally · 13/11/2021 11:47

This all seems very complicated... But yes, I'd move 5 year old without much quibble. Kids are very flexible at that age, and she'll have forgotten all about it within a month.

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 11:47

@Reallybloodypainful it doesn't seem like a long walk, no. But with a 1 year old in his pram weighing all together 3 stone, up and down hills in the rain with sciatica.. it feels like 2 hours lol.

Honestly, not only it not being the closest school , I'm not 100% happy so far. No one "done" anything but, the vibe I have with the teachers and school /parents. It's not the most welcoming.

OP posts:
SE13Mummy · 13/11/2021 11:50

Does school A operate a sibling priority admissions policy? If so, and if there's a space for your Y1 child, I'd move them ASAP and make sure the Y2 child was on the waiting list.

You could be going to and from the school for the next ten years so being nearby will make lots of things easier.

Reallybloodypainful · 13/11/2021 11:54

I would ask local authority for some info on waiting lists. The closest primary to me you could wait years for a space. Oversubscribed and waiting list with families in adjacent streets.

I think having them both in the same school long term is a huge plus.

I totally get the bad vibe thing. I had it with the first school my eldest went to, ignored it for a year and eventually moved him and he thrived afterwards.

Sorry to be dismissive of the 15 minutes walk. I'd forgotten cold rainy days, tired children and pushchairs!

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 11:56

@SE13Mummy TBH, I have 0 idea. I will contact School A Monday, ask more questions etc.

Yes, this is what I'm thinking. I feel like, I want to move my year 1 get her in the nearer school and my Year 2 on the list.. he will be in the same situation as now and we will be going to a closer school.
I think I needed reassurance that this is OK lol.

OP posts:
Blahdyblahbla · 13/11/2021 11:56

Has your older child got any chance of getting into shool A? If not you could be in a position with 2 kids in 2 schools somewhere down the road. I'd be looking at the stats and speaking to admissions officers and local mums before moving anyone

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 12:03

When I spoke with the admissions team they explained that the waiting list "could be for 6 months".. as I said, "I understand it could be for a year".
I will have my year 2 home schooled while he is on the waiting list- which isn't a problem. He really thrives with the one to one and has social clubs etc.
So they will both be in the same school , once he gets a place in the school my year 1 is in.

OP posts:
Cakequeen1988 · 13/11/2021 12:04

I had a similar situation.

If school A is a better school (not just for convenience of location) then I’d swap your daughter. But as other posters have said please do check waiting lists. As sibling priority you would be high up but there may be little or no movement and you could wait years to get him in though I was advised that at year 3 the Head does have discretion to allow the class to go over 30 and so you may get in at year 3 that way

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 12:08

I don't know ANYONE in this area, at all.

When I post on local pages I get barely to 0 response.

@Reallybloodypainful oh its OK lol. It sounds very dramatic from myself but when you're doing it, it's something else lol. It takes all in all just under an hour for the walk there and back and the wait at the school as they're not great with timing it seems. Which my 1 year old is not happy with and causes more stress! 😕

Yes, this is how I feel. I can't believe how unwelcoming everyone is there? Not even a "good morning"? Just a lot of stares. The teachers seem bitchy with comments that they've made about other teachers etc. Kids already not being the nicest and the teacher just explaining it was common from these kids?🤨 I dunno, I just don't feel comfortable or happy there.

OP posts:
Helpstopthepain · 13/11/2021 12:08

As a child who moved schools a lot it really affected me. Give her a chance to settle.

15 minutes is nothing.

bumpertobumper · 13/11/2021 12:11

How big is each school? The more forms per year mean that there will s a higher chance of someone moving, more turnover...
I would move the 5yo in you situation, after dining out a bit more about the length of wait lists. As others and you have said, she isn't settled there so it won't be too disruptive for her to move again.
Being at a close school is also much more convenient for play dates etc.

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 12:14

@Cakequeen1988 yes, I will call about the lists etc on Monday and the sibling priority as that hadn't even crossed my mind!

I had looked into School A a lot as thats where I wanted them go when I knew I was moving to this area. It was only when I was here and doing the admissions form that it stated school A didn't have any year 2 places. So I then found and visited school B and started the process when I was told there was places for both.

OP posts:
bumpertobumper · 13/11/2021 12:15

@Helpstopthepain I also went to many primary schools, and know what you mean, but in this situation surely it is better to move before being settled in.
if the school isn't a good fit anyway better to do it now than when she is more settled and possibly has had a horrible time with the mean kids that the teacher basically just shrugged about.

Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 12:15

@Helpstopthepain 15 is nothing.. to you, in your situation.

Also, it's not just about the walk there as I've explained.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnTheB · 13/11/2021 12:17

@bumpertobumper I agree. This has changed my daughter. She is coming out of school quiet and upset. Anyone that knows her knows she's an excited and happy child, especially when it comes to school as she loves school! So, it's sad seeing her act this way here.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 13/11/2021 12:20

Apply for School A for both.

chillied · 13/11/2021 12:21

Yes move her OP.