To ask how you look after yourself?

[Ticktock40]

I’m struggling after having a couple of pretty shitty years. I had a late miscarriage at the very start of the first lockdown and since then have been suffering from grief/ depression. (Are they different, I didn’t know?!) I had counselling for a while which did help.

We started IVF over the summer after finding out we had secondary infertility and after being ecstatic to get pregnant on our first go, we sadly miscarried a few weeks later. I’ve had my second transfer this month (frozen this time) and have just found out it hasn’t worked.

How do you recover? I miss the old me and just feel so sad and broken. We’re lucky to have more embryos in the freezer but I don’t know if I can keep putting myself through this.

Any suggestions for self healing would be great or is it just good old ‘time’ that helps?

Thanks in advance.

I'm so sorry. There are no magic words I can say to make it better. I wish there were.

The only things I can suggest, are to keep away from dickheads and stressful situations as much as possible. And do the things that make life enjoyable for you. For me, it's reading good books, eating vegan chocolate and listening to gospel music. Whatever it is for you, do that.

Daily exercise. Even just a short walk. Vitamins. Comfy cosy bed with nice clean bedding. My faith as a Christian- spending time praying or reading something uplifting. Time out for a cappuccino and coffee cake. Contact with good friends and family. Creativity- drawing, painting, making something whilst listening to music or a chat show/ something interesting.

OP, also to say I'm sorry you've been through a tough time. Go easy on yourself

That's really rubbish op, it must be so difficult.

I'm a big believer in looking after your physical health helps you maintain your mental health. Regular meals, not too much booze, getting up in the morning and going to bed at a reasonable hour, getting out in the fresh air. All this had helped me cope with difficult times.

It is such a pity that somehow, over the decades, we have moved away from the idea of 'convalescence' where you went to a rest home somewhere near the sea and just recovered from physical illness or sadness.

But just because the idea is no longer fashionable, doesn't mean that it is isn't still a valid idea.

You have had a trauma. Make a convalescence for yourself at home if you can't get away. Do as others have suggested: quality sleep, tempting foods, gentle walks and small things to occupy you, things that won't tax or stress you.

Convalesce @Ticktock40.