DP swapping number on retreat

[Twistedsister808]

DP occasionally goes on silent meditation retreats, these can last upto 10 days - you are not permitted to speak or even look at the other guests during the first 9 days on these retreats. On the final day everyone gets to share a meal together and chat. On this final day DP shared numbers with a woman. When I asked why - as in whether there was some kind of common interest or work or some reason, the answer was no actual reason to have shared contacts? AIBU to think that as this person, number sharing wasn’t made available to me until I enquired about it , it is a bit shady? I have no problem with DP sharing number and making friends, however I find it hard to understand why you might swap numbers with someone you have spent 9 days in silence with and then shared a meal and a chat with ?

AIBU to think that as this person, number sharing wasn’t made available to me until I enquired about it , it is a bit shady?

I don't understand, how did you find out? Did you enquire if he swapped numbers with anyone? How did you know to enquire that?

I would have thought it’s the sort of thing you would do - swap a number with someone you shared an experience with. You may not actually talk to them after

I've done these retreats and one conversation on the last day can hold a lot more weight than a conversation on a regular day. I've swapped numbers with a woman and stayed in touch.

The silent retreat is a big undertaking so perhaps he saw this as an opportunity to make a like-minded friend?

So it's not necessarily dodgy or inappropriate but how are things between you, do you feel sidelined and how did you find out about the number?

I've swapped numbers with several people on yoga retreats, you're encouraged to not talk until 7pm, and mostly it's very quiet.

But at the same time after sharing such an intense experience with people, even if they were strangers beforehand you kind of feel like a weird family by the end of it, even though you hardly speak!

Again there's a big dinner on the last day where everyone talks about the week.

I'm 37, I'm now in a group chat with a bunch from the retreat one of whom is a 68 year old man.

Sounds like he was looking at her

Gawd love MN

@tallduckandhandsome

They will be attending another one soon and I was interested to find out more about how the retreats are as far as other people who attend and wether the same people go each time etc

@Shoxfordian

Sounds like normal behaviour to me.
He swapped numbers.
No big deal.

@FlaggRF that’s exactly how DP explained it - it’s not something I’m used to attending myself I prefer to head out meet people and then retreat back home and not a fan of sharing my space with anyone else tbh

@Nowomenaroundeh things are good with us and no issues, I get bad pms - which I’m experiencing now - can make me suspicious of DP. so this is the kinda thing that usually gets the Jessica Fletcher investigation

Clearly they have a common interest, unless you think she went to the retreat because she hates them?

Totally and utterly normal.