...to interfere in arguments btween pre- teen with short skirts vs partner with old fashioned views

[Lavagirl]

My daughter is 12, v beautiful, looks older and isn't particularly aware of it. She has a couple of short skirts, including a 'skort' that she wears to school for PE. DP has just given her an earful for wearing something 'inappropriate' (not the first time) and she reacted badly. I am absolutely against the notion of telling her what to wear, or making her feel responsible if she attracts any unwanted attention. I see that as victim blaming and I don't think it'll do anything to protect her, only make her feel responsible if anything untoward happens. (which it might, but not because of what she's wearing ffs). Have tried to say as much to DP but he just won't listen - he's from another country that isn't particularly progressive tbh, and it has taken him many years to update his views on a number of issues. What do i do? I feel like his comments are really damaging and very unlikely to do anything except alienate our daughter.

Different clothes are appropriate for different places. Learning what is appropriate and when is part of growing up.

Short skirts aren't appropriate at school because it should be work wear. The worst time for this is non uniform days, the boys generally come dressed appropriately in jeans, joggers with tshirts and hoddies as do some of the girls. However there is such a range of girls clothing that many come in outfits far better suited for hanging around the mall or a cinema trip with friends, tiny crop tops and very tight ripped jeans which isn't appropriate because of the unprotected skin on show. I've had to change my lesson on more than one occasion (Science teacher) as I'm not using Bunsens or other hot things near bare flesh.
Although as many girls in my form tell me the PE skorts only come in a ridiculously short length anyway especially if you are tall, so that's another story all together.

So whilst your DP might be old fashioned you also need to step up and teach your DD when it's appropriate to wear certain clothes and when it's not.

My Dd is also 12, 5 ft 8 and looks more like a 15 year old. She isn't interested in short skirts but I would discourage her from wearing them because I wouldn't want her getting attention from people who think she is older. This isn't victim blaming, it's taking reasonable, preventative measures.

You might be the safest driver in the world but you would still wear a seat belt to protect yourself from other people's poor decisions or accidents. I see it as the same situation.

Whenever I see the term 'old fashioned' I read it as 'sexist'.

Tell your DP that his job here is to teach other men that women are not prey, and underage girls are not looking for male attention regardless of what they're wearing.

He should tell his male friends that girls and women have the right to be out and about without having to put up with comments, leering, or other intrusions by men. That is how he will protect DD.

Tell him to ask his friends to spread the word.

I suspect you find he isn't keen on that approach because it's far easier to tell a 12 year old she isn't worthy of respect than it is to tell grown men to respect her.

How short? Just short is one thing. If she’s like the teenager I saw in Tesco the other day where it was so short I could see the gusset of her tights even before she bent over, then it’s just indecent and inappropriate and I’m with your DP.

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

Different clothes are appropriate for different places. Learning what is appropriate and when is part of growing up.

Short skirts aren't appropriate at school because it should be work wear. The worst time for this is non uniform days, the boys generally come dressed appropriately in jeans, joggers with tshirts and hoddies as do some of the girls. However there is such a range of girls clothing that many come in outfits far better suited for hanging around the mall or a cinema trip with friends, tiny crop tops and very tight ripped jeans which isn't appropriate because of the unprotected skin on show. I've had to change my lesson on more than one occasion (Science teacher) as I'm not using Bunsens or other hot things near bare flesh.
Although as many girls in my form tell me the PE skorts only come in a ridiculously short length anyway especially if you are tall, so that's another story all together.

So whilst your DP might be old fashioned you also need to step up and teach your DD when it's appropriate to wear certain clothes and when it's not.

Unless you dress your students head to toe in fire retardant fabric I suspect you let ‘bare flesh’ near Bunsen burners all the time. However I’m surprised the school doesn’t have some rules about what they’re allowed to wear even on non uniform days, most do.

Surely the skort is part of the school PE uniform and only comes in one length? So not your DD's choice anyway?