To worry about my weight when I move in with bf?

[troobleflooble]

Not really an aibu but I could do with some advice on how to lose/maintain weight from others who have done it. I've lost weight in the past but through very unhealthy means (basically starving myself and being too depressed to eat) so I'm keen to not go there again. I don't have a huge amount to lose, about 2 stone to have a healthy bmi and to help with another medical condition I have.

Bf is vegan and has a very fast metabolism so he can get away with eating in a way I really can't without putting on weight.

The issues are thus:

I have a big appetite and tend to eat big portions. I've tried to cut them down but I work an active job and am on my feet all day so if I cut down too much I get so hungry I can't function properly.

I love carbs. I eat a mostly vegan diet at the moment which I'm fine with but consequently it makes cutting down on other foods harder as I'm more restricted in what I can eat.

I already don't eat a lot of fatty or processed foods. I genuinely don't eat cake, biscuits, doughnuts, takeaways etc because I don't like them! Same with anything super rich, it makes me feel sick 🤢

Can anyone advise on how to lose weight eating mostly vegan food while not eat tiny portions and cutting out carbs or aibu and asking the impossible? 😂

Whole food plant based - fruit, veggies (big stir fries), tofu salads, nuts seeds, lentils etc.

As long as you don’t replace meat and dairy with often higher calorie and more processed vegan versions, eating a good vegan diet should assist you in maintaining weight loss.

What does a typical day’s eating look like when you’re with your boyfriend? What things can he do to support you?

I think the answer is carb control, sorry. Not cutting out but just getting more protein and fats in to make sure you're feeling full and not running on empty.

I would bet you're not getting enough protein. Why are you eating mostly vegan? Because you want to or because your boyfriend wants you to?

If you are having weight issues even with an active job, that means you're consuming too many calories, and your portions, as you said, are the issue.

I lost six stone by cutting out processed food and sugar, I started cooking from scratch (it really doesn't take much time or energy) eating wholefoods, lots of veg and protein, healthy fats.

I have a BIG appetite too and I still can out-eat my husband. Homemade soups, stews, curries, roasted veg, all of which can be vegan if you use lentils, beans, chickpeas etc. Eg roast butter beans, courgette and cauliflower in a little coconut oil and herbs/spices - low on calories, super tasty and filling.

Eating regularly works for me too, three good meals a day means I rarely snack. Everyone is different though so it's about finding your own way. Get excited about new recipes, enjoy your food, and don't beat yourself up for a 'bad' day.

Are you getting enough iron and B12?

Intermittent fasting.

I have lost 4+ stone this year eating whole food plant based, with loads of carbs. I don't track food, as such but 90% of the time I eat vegan meals I have made from scratch. As pp says eating vegan junk/processed products isn't good for you.
There are a lot of WFPB Instagram accounts for ideas. I like Healthy Vegan Mama for simple meals

Also, you need carbs.

Not crappy carbs like white bread and doughnuts but complex carbs - brown rice, beans, sweet potatoes. Very much needed and will help weight loss, helping you feel satisfied.

Eat healthy naturally vegan food like bean chilli, vegetable curry, hummus, falafels, salad etc.

What does he live on that you think will make you gain weight, crisps and chip butties?

Look into food pairing, try and outweigh carbs with protein etc. Works for me.

Another one for whole food plant based diet. I don't eat vegan junk food (or if I do it's very rarely), and stick mainly with starchy vegetables and carbs like quinoa and occasionally brown rice.

I don't eat breads/pastas or the like because they bloat me way too much.

I cook pretty much everything myself and found a selection of recipes I enjoy and can prepare on rotation. My daily diet consists of porridge, a salad for lunch with some falafel, and/or roasted vegetables and then a "hot" dinner like roast potatoes with a mushroom sauce, or walnut/cauliflower tacos.

I'm not keen on beans/lentils, the only ones I like are edemame or chickpeas in the form of hummus, so stick with what I like and rotate.

Bf loves bread and has large portions as he is naturally slim and active so has trouble keeping weight on if anything. He snacks on nuts which are good protein but obviously quite calorific! He doesn't eat a lot of processed food or junk and mostly cooks from scratch, as do I.

I'm not a big fan of salads, especially in the winter as I just don't find them filling enough unless I add quite a lot of protein and/or carbs. I am hungry again soon after 😞

@Aquamarine1029 I've been eating a mostly vegan diet for a while as it's cheaper and healthier 😁

Soups and stews with lots of pulses and vegetables are a good winter staple.

You can have bread and nuts, just watch portion sizes.

A lot of women gain weight when they move in with a man because they start eating more and often less healthily.

They also seem to feel obliged to cater for his food preferences instead of their own, making big meals when they would be happy with soup, or egg on toast or whatever.

On the matter of eggs, if you're not vegan for ethical reasons, eggs are a good cheap filling food source so you could probably benefit from incorporating lots into your diet.

Have you considered eating what he eats just in smaller portions?

If you need to eat a lot then volume eating might be for you. Low calorie but filling foods - no surprise that it’s mostly veg. If you don’t want cold salads then I find stir frys and soups make good lunches

It is really hard when your parter is one of those men who can eat anything without putting on weight.

I've resigned myself to eating a mostly separate diet from my husband. We probably have about two shared dinners in the average week and the rest of the time, I cook for myself and I try to pretend his cupboard full of chocolate bars, biscuits, mini fruit pies etc. doesn't exist.

I've lost nearly 4 stone since the start of the year following the principles in Andrew Jenkinson's 'Why we eat (too much).' It's mainly about cutting out processed food. With vegan foods you have to be careful because some are heavily processed in order to give them a faux-meaty texture. There's a long-running thread for this way of eating on the MN weightloss board if you are interested.

I'm at a healthy BMI now for the first time since 2015 and about a stone away from my personal 'happy' weight.