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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take kids out of school for three days?

48 replies

JudesBiggestFan · 12/11/2021 14:54

Like most of the country, we won't have been abroad for three years by next summer. Holidays in this country have been beset by rain and bloody hard work to be honest!
Three boys aged 12-4 currently means pleasing everyone not easy.
We desperately would like to go abroad May half term next year for a fly and flop sort of deal but all inclusive is coming up at 5 grand if we leave on the Saturday. If we leave on the Wednesday it's less than 3,000. The primary school would be relatively relaxed from what I know, but my eldest is stressing massively about missing three days of school. Would it be so bad?
Have done euro camp previously but with the food and travel it won't work out much less, plus lovely as it is, constantly feeding three ravenous boys is not a holiday for me and my husband. I want kids clubs and no cooking! I know this is a first world problem...but would you take them out if school for three days??

OP posts:
shouldistop · 12/11/2021 15:01

We're taking our 5yo out of school for 5 days at the end of the school year next June (we're in Scotland ). The teachers won't care. It's £1300 cheaper to do this.

yikerspipers · 12/11/2021 15:51

I wouldn't take my secondary age son out of school. I honestly do get the desire for a holiday, but you say your child is already stressing massively at the idea of it. I don't think he will enjoy it and I think it send the wrong message.

TotallySuper · 12/11/2021 15:53

If your child didn't care then YANBU they don't do much near the end of terms/half terms outside of exam years. But If he is stressing about it then he won't enjoy it and you won't either so I wouldn't.

TotallySuper · 12/11/2021 15:54

Next time just book it and tell him nearer the time when he's got less time to stress about it. Very conscientious of him to care so much actually.

switswoo81 · 12/11/2021 15:57

I wouldn't give it two thoughts , enjoy the holidays.

Saoirse82 · 12/11/2021 15:59

Very conscientious of him to care so much actually.

Was thinking this myself! The absolute opposite to how I was at school.

Irishfarmer · 12/11/2021 16:01

Ask him why he is stressed. I did go to secondary in England, age 12 is yr 8 right? So no exams.

AFS1 · 12/11/2021 16:34

I’m taking my 13 yr old (Y8) and my 7 yr old (Y3) out of school for 3 days in January to go ski-ing (if we’re allowed out of and back into the country by that time).

No regrets - they’ve had a pretty crappy 2 years and we all need a decent holiday.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 12/11/2021 16:41

100% yes. No question.
Last three days of school they are unlikely to be learning something brand new just before the long holiday.

MarcelineMissouri · 12/11/2021 16:43

We’ll be taking our 10 and 7 year olds out for 8 school days next year, for a holiday that’s been postponed several times now. After the last couple of years we need the holiday more than they need to be in school to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️

BurbageBrook · 12/11/2021 16:49

Schools really emphasise the importance of attendance and give awards for 100% etc which might be stressing him out. But I would reassure him that it won’t matter at his age and stage of education to miss a few days of school as long as he catches up. Once in year 10 upwards I think I would avoid ever taking them out.

JamesWilbysAbs · 12/11/2021 17:08

Is your son stressing because he'll have to lie about it at school- or will you be upfront about taking him out for a holiday, and he's stressed that the teachers will think less of him??

CarrieBlue · 12/11/2021 17:11

After all the angst about schools being closed over the last two years there’s a lot of people for whom school isn’t so important suddenly - funny that.

Original poster
JudesBiggestFan · 12/11/2021 17:48

He stresses because he's such a massive rule follower! It's an over used term but I'd say he's somewhere on the spectrum and any rule breaking at all freaks him out. I'm often grateful of this as he approaches the teenage years, but he struggles with even little white lies! Plus the school do make a massive deal of attendance...weekly emails and awards. All mine have100 per cent attendance so far this term and attended all through lockdowns cos I'm front line emergency services...but I do still feel a bit guilty at taking them out!

OP posts:
lanthanum · 12/11/2021 18:33

@Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss

100% yes. No question. Last three days of school they are unlikely to be learning something brand new just before the long holiday.
It's not the long holiday, it's the May half-term. That's about the time of year some schools might be doing assessments in order to mark them and write reports before the end of the year. That makes it a much less clear cut decision, especially with a child who might be bothered by having to catch up the test on his return.

Unfortunately, if the school is big on attendance, its probably going to be difficult to find out how big a deal it would be.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 13/11/2021 09:42

@CarrieBlue

After all the angst about schools being closed over the last two years there’s a lot of people for whom school isn’t so important suddenly - funny that.
I think it’s precisely because of that! Attendance was always a bit of a silly one. No teacher I know (I am one) really thinks a child in a supportive family is going to miss out from missing a few day or even a week at a non crucial time. We never have. It was just something ofsted used to beat schools with. It never made sense to conflate children going to Spain for a week with children whose parent/s barely can get them to school and miss large chunks of their schooling alongside other home risk factors.
CeeJay81 · 13/11/2021 09:57

Def do it, we are. We are taking ours out for 4 days prior to May half term next year. Going Tuesday to Tuesday. It saves money and what are they going to miss in a few days. The experience can be educational by trying local foods, seeing different places and learning about another country. We haven't been abroad in years and I'm so looking forward to it.

Harriet1216 · 13/11/2021 10:00

Just go, enjoy your holiday.

CarrieBlue · 13/11/2021 11:15

@Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss I’m a teacher too and I’ve had students miss coursework due to holidays of a few days. More expensive holidays are what happens when you have kids. This example isn’t about restrictions on parents’ leave, just about wanting something to be cheaper. There’s plenty of places I’d love to go but can’t afford, so make do with not quite what I ‘need’ for a holiday.

JennyDune · 13/11/2021 11:22

Its not appropriate.

School should only be missed for family emergencies and sickness.

Naughtynovembertree · 13/11/2021 12:14

Goodness absolutely do it!??

Life is far too short and it's been gruelling for young dc these past few years do it

ANameChangeAgain · 13/11/2021 12:19

I wouldn't. Not at senior school, there has been too much disruption already. We've got a holiday booked over New Year that we have to cut short by 2 days because of the start of term.

Dutchesss · 13/11/2021 12:24

I would probably do it, but it's also possible to go on a great all inclusive holiday on £3000 without missing school.
So you'll need to decide what's more important.
Missing school I'd be ok with but I wouldn't want my child to stress over it.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 13/11/2021 12:39

Is there really nothing cheaper? I get the theres more to life than school brigade, but surely there must be something else available?

MojoJojo71 · 13/11/2021 12:39

Have you checked to make sure there’s no big school events planned that DC wouldn’t want to miss? I was considering doing this next summer but thankfully didn’t because I’ve since discovered that the last week of term is when all the children in DD’s class go off to a residential camp