General neighbourly etiquette - just me?

[AllesAusLiebe]

If you're getting 'work' done at home, do you generally inform your neighbours if you think they'll be inconvenienced / adversely affected?

I'm slowly being driven insane by the events of today. . .

Firstly, I return home this morning from taking DS to nursery to find my opposite neighbour is having something done with her roof. There are work vehicles all over the street and she's moved her car off her drive and parked it across mine. I wouldn't mind this but expect that she uses the power of speech to let me know of her plans to inconvenience me. She's perfectly mobile and capable of knocking on my door.

The building work starts and for the last 3 hours, plumes of dust have been generated from her roof and will invariably mean I have to wash my car.

In addition, I work from home. Asshole next door knows this, but still has been drilling holes in the party wall since he rolled out of his own filth at 11am this morning. Again, if he let me know of his plans, I could've arranged to work elsewhere for the day, or at least I would know what to expect. This isn't an exception, he does it quite often and I have mentioned before that if I know there's going to be an element of noise, I can find other arrangements. All I ask is that he lets me know the day before.

Whenever DH and I have had builders/tradespeople, we've always let the neighbours know - even if we thought it probably wouldn't affect them. We thought it was just courtesy and most people followed this unwritten code. . .

Is it just me?

Yanbu

From your fairly rude descriptions of them, it doesn’t sound as though you have a very good relationship with the neighbours so I assume they dislike you as much as you do them and aren’t really fussed if they’re pissing you off.

I tell our neighbours about building work, but I like them and get on. In a previous house they were rude cunts and I didn’t bother.

I would never park over anyones drive without speaking to them first so on that front yanbu, general vans parking and work in the day dust wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't expect a heads up.
Work on a shared wall I would expect a heads up yes and would give ppl heads up in that situation.

Parking across your drive is obviously wrong but baring party wall agreements for big stuff I’ve never had a neighbour tell me in advance of them doing work and I’ve never informed them either. Other peoples noise is to be somewhat expected when you live in a densely populated area. Maybe living in a terrace isn’t for you OP.

My neighbours do DIY frequently. Sometimes hammering for hours and it drives me nuts. Once they were laying new floors, hardwood floors and carpets and did it themselves rather than hire professionals and it took the best part of a week having to listening to ba ting constantly. Another one of my neighbours parks across my drive. So rude. But it has been going on for 9 years. And the latest one is they have now shoved their wheelie bin up against my electric cupboard. Literally an inch from the door. So rude. But what can you do??!!!

I would like to be informed if my neighbours were doing extensive or loud work but some people don't think you need to... I would inform mine but to be honest I don't have work being done really.

OP I'm with you.

My neighbours have been have extensive work done on their garden which has included removal of the well established leylandi along our boundary, building a new (wonky and ugly as fuck) fence and laying new patio.

For almost 3 months straight I've listened to chain saws, tree chippers, mini diggers, nail guns, hand saws, stihl saws, hammers you name it, all while trying to work in my office less than 20 feet away.

I've had trucks blocking my drive, deliveries left on the road adjacent to my drive that have made it difficult to get on and off. I've spend hours sweeping and removing tree debris from my garden.

I've had rubbish piled up against the side of my house (which sits on part of the boundary) and I had to point out to the workman that it was a hazard known as fire loading and needed to be removed ASAP.

Not once have my neighbours been round to see me or even sent me a text either apologising for any inconvenience or asking if everything the workman have been doing along our boundary has been ok.

I always knew they were selfish idiots but this has just confirmed it.

I don't object to the work, but if things had been the other way round I'd have taken them chocolates and wine as a friendly gesture.

Like a pp, I like and get on with my neighbours, and would generally let them know in our usual catch-ups of any work that would be happening.

@FrangipaniBlue that definitely falls within range for a compensatory bottle of wine! I'd expect nothing less!

Also, I don't believe we have 'bad' relationships with the neighbours. We don't like the people next door and have had polite discussions with them about their noise levels. I don't want to speak with them on a regular basis, much like I don't go out of my way to chat to people I dislike in any walk of life.

My post was really just to gather a general consensus.

We always tell our neighbours both sides, for example when we had our drive and loft done. However, we're obviously mugs as neither do the same for us and everything takes them months to complete. People are dicks.

The folks in the end house do this sorta thing to their neighbour, a midwife who clearly works nights. They never ever tell her they're doing any work, everyone else finds out when she's on night shifts so they can work around it or if not possible to move dates she will go to her dad's for a sleep.

How could she have asked about parking when you weren't there? You were out. People have to get building work done and sometimes it’s noisy and dusty.

You sound a bit grumpy about other people getting on with their lives.

I think you're perfectly reasonable to be annoyed at lack of comms, can't believe people on here would be so accommodating tbh

I think YABU. We let our neighbours know when we were having an extension done but I wouldn’t expect to tell them or them tell me when they are having work done on roof - especially opposite or that there will be drilling.

Major work I have done (ie an extension). Small things, eg having a handyman in for a day to fix a few jobs, then no I haven't, as it doesn't seem necessary. I wouldn't allow any contractors to make noise at antisocial hours or park across anyone's drive though.

YANBU The people around you are pretty anti-social. i used to live somewhere like this - a woman started parking her car on my front lawn (open plan gardens), for example. Never bothered to say hello or speak, mind you. A lot of the neighbours there - small cul-de-sac with terraced houses quite close up to each other - were completely inconsiderate. they just did what they wanted to do whenever and had no care for anyone else. Where I live now is bliss - lovely neighbours, all 'normal' in their behaviour, and more space between us! They tell us before getting work done in case it affects us, and are generally really friendly without being in your face.

If the next door's work affects the party wall between you, OP, he HAS to consult you first and get your agreement.

Parking on your drive is rude but the rest makes you sound like an arrogant person. You working from home is your problem. No one else! Buy some noise-cancelling earphones and stop being such an entitled brat!

Tricky, I mean my dh was on nights this week and the neighbour was trying to chainsaw some tree stumps in front of the front door. But we had trees removed (told the neighbours because there was going to be a chipper/trailer blocking the drive) What I didn’t know was that the guy would stand at the top of the 30ft tree singing full on opera as he chopped. I was dying, he was great! Sorry to all the neighbours behind, but we gave you light all day now!