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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Positive LFT, then Negative PCR - AIBU?

29 replies

irisetta · 12/11/2021 01:01

So there was a school Mums meetup planned, from ages ago. Local pub, finally a chance to relax and get to chat with some lovely ladies I'd only ever got to speak briefly with, at the school gates. I was alarmed at the weekend to get 4 positive lateral flow tests on the trot (we were staying with vulnerable relatives so I was testing every day).

I informed the WhatsApp groups for our class, to warn in advance. Same day I went for a PCR. Did another LFT in the evening, result was negative. Got result from PCR next morning - negative!

Fast forward 3 days - I got a message from the lady who had organised the meetup, and who was understandably concerned that I might have Covid, and be a super-spreader! I replied that I felt fine, my PCR had been negative, my most recent LFT was negative. However, if it would make her happy, I would not go to this pub meet. She readily agreed - she reckons positive LFTs are much more reliable now than negative PCRs. Hmm Well, I was watching all the messages on the WhatsApp group this evening and felt weirdly sad - happy people bouncing up to the group drinks, announcing their arrival, saying happy thankyous at the end. I've been quite lonely for female friends for a while, mum or otherwise. Am I being U? I think if I had gone, I'd have been judged. :(

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 12/11/2021 01:15

LFTs are are unreliable compared to a PCR test. She just doesn’t want you there.

Original poster
irisetta · 12/11/2021 02:01

Odd, isn't it! Also - hate to drip feed but I just found this out - there were limited spaces available (she had booked 2 tables), and the minute I confirmed no my space was filled by a close friend of hers. Am I being paranoid? I don't even know this woman.

OP posts:
lololololollll · 12/11/2021 02:14

How lovely when the OP says she's been lonely and you tell her she wasn't wanted there! It's actually possible that's what the lady actually thinks. Some people are weird about Covid and if they hear about a positive test they panic! I don't agree but it's not necessarily trying to outcast you ffs

Sciurus83 · 12/11/2021 02:15

I really don't think this is personal, don't treat it as such. 4 positive LFTs is very weird, and you'd be around a vulnerable group obviously babies not vaccinated and many new mum's may not have been. It was obviously causing her anxiety and may have done for others, just go to the next one. Don't think she's right about PCR v LFT but you did have some really unusual results there, better sit that one out in case.

Original poster
irisetta · 12/11/2021 02:33

It's a primary school - not new mums. Agree that so many positive Lfts in a row is weird - yet, next day, negative PCR. i did a few more LFTs before the meetup this eve - all negative.

OP posts:
Original poster
irisetta · 12/11/2021 02:34

I'm not lying! i have proof here if needs be.

OP posts:
Sciurus83 · 12/11/2021 02:41

Oh sorry I read the bouncing and thought of new babies! No one said you were lying did they? Just it's weird. Really it's not personal these people don't know you, there's so much covid around at the moment people are nervous. Don't overthink it, there'll be another event.

users689033 · 12/11/2021 03:09

That's not personal. LFTs are designed to pick up symptom less people. I would have sat that one out and retest

Saoirse82 · 12/11/2021 03:14

@Finfintytint

LFTs are are unreliable compared to a PCR test. She just doesn’t want you there.
Oh give over 🙄. What a load of BS! OP it's nothing personal, a lot of people are still anxious about covid and as I have a CEV close relative who can't be vaccinated so I'm usually really cautious about things like this. I'm sorry you missed out though!
Holidaytan · 12/11/2021 03:20

I think it’s naive of you to tell everyone you had positive tests, then still expect to be welcome to attend. People will zero in on this, not the negatives………

Next time, if you plan on further tests before attending an event, just tell people the results of the tests you are using to inform your decision.

If they did not want you there you wouldn’t have been invited.

Reading all the watssap messages and feeling sad is fairly self-indulgent. How did you expect the messages would make you feel? You have to try to create your own happiness in this world.

Arrange your own meet-up for next month.

StrawberrySquash · 12/11/2021 03:25

I definitely think you were right not to go and she was right to ask. Yes, LFTs aren't as reliable as PCRs but in the way that LFTs miss a fair few positives. i. e. Negative LFT may well be wrong. A positive LFT probably means you have it.

It is a bit odd about the negative PCR though, as a PCR is better at picking up all the positives. Maybe it's just that you were over the viral hump by the time the PCR (and recent LFTs) happened. There was a problem with a PCR lab that was sending out false negatives, but that is supposed to be sorted by now.

It sucks that you had to miss your night out though, but noisy pub would be a terrible place for spreading.

HappyDays40 · 12/11/2021 03:56

Just don't discuss your private medi3csl information with others. Your results are not public domain information till you have actually hadca positive PCR test.
She sounds very worried about COVID but you eered within your rights to show. Hope things get better for you OP.Flowers

earlydoors42 · 12/11/2021 06:31

I had positive LFTs but negative PCR. Even though the covid helpline said that meant I was negative, I looked into it more and got medical advice. The conclusion was that I had it. Yes LFTs can give false negatives (hence why we are told they are unreliable) but not false positives. It was in the news all around the time it happened to me as it happened to lots of people then too. So that mum was probably aware and knew (or believed) you were likely covid positive.

Cheerbear23 · 12/11/2021 07:17

It’s odd that you got 4 positives on LTF. Did you feel ill at the time?
We’ve been testing regularly for school and the only positives I’ve seen have also come back positive on PCR.

Whentheleavesfalldown · 12/11/2021 07:19

It would be very very unusual for LFT’s to give false positives. You should repeat your PCR.

Iggly · 12/11/2021 07:21

Take another PCR.

My dd had three positives so we took two PCRs over a few days to be sure.

I’ve read that positive LFTs are unlikely to be false, which is why we tested twice to be sure.

Iggly · 12/11/2021 07:22

@earlydoors42

I had positive LFTs but negative PCR. Even though the covid helpline said that meant I was negative, I looked into it more and got medical advice. The conclusion was that I had it. Yes LFTs can give false negatives (hence why we are told they are unreliable) but not false positives. It was in the news all around the time it happened to me as it happened to lots of people then too. So that mum was probably aware and knew (or believed) you were likely covid positive.
Did you have symptoms? The same happened to my dd but she had a sore throat for two days, coughed a few times in those two days then was right as rain. The rest of us were also all fine.
VividGemini · 12/11/2021 07:26

False negatives are much more likely than false positives (like pregnancy tests, for example). They are testing for the presence of Covid 19 antigens, so unless they were contaminated or faulty (unlikely if you took 4) there wouldn't be any way for the Covid 19 antigen to get on the device.

BendingSpoons · 12/11/2021 07:29

False positives on LFTs are rare. I wouldn't want to socialise with someone who had 4 of them! My uncle had the same thing and turned out his PCR was wrong and he did have COVID. Thankfully he had isolated so only passed it to his wife.

It's rubbish timing that you missed out, but I don't think it's personal or an over reaction.

BendingSpoons · 12/11/2021 07:31

Also did you do the LFTs over 4 days? PCRs are meant to ideally be in the first 5 days of symptoms to pick it up best.

DaveDave · 12/11/2021 07:35

Awh that's sad for you. I agree, it's not personal, some people just really worry. Send a message to the group on What's App saying you are gutted you had to miss it, it looked liked so much fun and you can't wait for the next one.

DaveDave · 12/11/2021 07:36

Ps I had a series of positive LFTs followed by a negative PCR. Still no idea why!

sunflowerroses · 12/11/2021 07:37

I wouldn't be keen either to meet you after those, however much I wanted you there. But it is a shame and very disappointing!

44PumpLane · 12/11/2021 07:41

I voted YABU as you OFFERED to sit it out.

Do not offer up things that you are not happy with, the lady was clearly unhappy with the information you had shared so would no doubt jump on the chance to exclude you when you offered.

I imagine it had nothing to do with you as a person at all, and everything to do with 4 positive LFTs, I formation that you willingly shared.

If you were comfortable with your covid status and healthcare professionals that you spoke to (if you spoke to your doctor for example) were also comfortable then there was no need to tell the group and offer to not come.

As to your space being filled, that makes sense to be fair.

Nearlytheretrees · 12/11/2021 07:43

Shame you had to miss it but sounds like it was for the best just Incase. I would send a message to the group along the lines of sorry I missed the meal/drinks is anyone free on x date?