Hate on Social Media

[NameChangeFFS]

Have name changed as my usual username would link to who I am and to be honest I'm embarrassed.

So long story short I've found myself in a position where I have videos on social media that are gaining a lot of attention. I'm not an influencer by the way. My own following is tiny but I've been lucky enough to work with some really big beauty brands to create content for their social media channels. Like I said, I'm not an influencer. No one would buy a product because I recommend it, I just happen to be able to out together decent videos that look quite nice and brands like to use for advertising. This isn't about me as a person, I'm a nobody.

However, I'm really struggling with the fact that these videos are getting hundreds of thousands of views and with that comes comments. Obviously curiosity got the better of me and I'll have a read through. Some of the comments are so personal and nasty.

I'm a normal person. Day to day I'm a SAHM. I look after my children and spend my evenings studying for a degree. My life is extremely ordinary. I'm a nice person and most people would say I'm very shy/quiet.

I know IABU to worry about what strangers think of me but I've always been very insecure and sensitive. I think I just needed to vent tbh. I don't expect anyone to care or understand. I know I'm putting myself on the chopping block by doing what I do. I guess I just want to be allowed to do something I enjoy without being made to feel horrendous about myself.

Going forward I've promised myself I won't be reading comments anymore btw. I've learned my lesson. It's either that or stop doing it altogether.

So AIBU to wonder what is going through these peoples heads when they leave nasty comments?

I just think they must be bloody miserable to make nasty comments, I get the impression they probably do it to a lot of people

They're probably bored and looking for the wee brain hit you get when someone notices your comment.

Almost all of them would never dream of saying these things to you in real life. Social media attracts and thrives on negativity.

Even on MN, someone can post a fairly innocent question and at least one person will be mean in their reply.

It’s not real life.

When we read/view something online about ourselves we internalise it. I think it helps to talk to someone about it - it takes it out of your head and in saying it out loud it highlights how ridiculous the comments are.

Thank you so much for your replies. I felt mortified the second I hit post because I know I sound pathetic.

I think I'd cope better if it were teenagers commenting or whatever but it's always women my own age/plus (and I'm in my 30's!).

Like I said, I'm not an influencer. I'm not a celebrity. I'm genuinely just a normal person. 6 days out of 7 I look like something from fraggle rock!

People will comment nasty comments just because they can it is an unfortunate negative about social media. It is also the point of it, people can speak freely. The only way to avoid it is to not be on it (or at least for a wider audience).
People will make negative comments as clickbate too and to increase their profile etc to make money so don't take it personally. Best thing you can do is to come of social media to a wider public, if that's not an option then try and take useful criticism productively and use it to your benefit to improve future videos and ignore the keyboard warriors/attention seeking click bate posts.

@MazzleDazzle

Almost all of them would never dream of saying these things to you in real life. Social media attracts and thrives on negativity.

Even on MN, someone can post a fairly innocent question and at least one person will be mean in their reply.

It’s not real life.

When we read/view something online about ourselves we internalise it. I think it helps to talk to someone about it - it takes it out of your head and in saying it out loud it highlights how ridiculous the comments are.

I think that's spot on to be honest. I've noticed the feature I get the nastiest comments about is also the thing I get the most compliments on in real life!

They sound very jealous, just ignore them. They are probably jealous that they don't have the confidence to do whatever it is you do.

I totally understand how you feel. I’ve been in a similar situation and have since chosen to almost entirely remove myself from SM. Never again. I think the internet has really made me see humans in a different light. I grew up without the internet and seeing the utterly disgusting things said online has been shocking to me. Young people grow up with it so maybe it isn’t as shocking to them.
What helps me is to imagine what sort of person actually takes time out of their life to deliberately hurt someone else. Life is short and as the time ticks away, some people use their time on earth to be vile.
Do I actually care about the opinions of someone like that? If you met those people in real life OP they would no doubt be insignificant to you and you’d steer well clear. People who have been hurt and are angry pass that on to others. It’s their burden, not yours. And remember, for all the nasty comments, there will be so many many more people who like your stuff but just don’t comment because actually, very few people who view stuff take the time to comment.

You sound great. Don’t read any more comments

I think you can turn off the comments.

You're all honestly so lovely. I'm sorry for being vague etc but I'm honestly not trying to be boastful or anything. I genuinely don't see myself as anything special just incredibly lucky.

My family are all so supportive and proud and I know that realistically that's enough (as well as enjoying doing it myself). I think I just need to focus on the positives of doing something I love and being acknowledged for it in a really tough industry.

@Viviennemary

I think you can turn off the comments.

I can turn off the comments on my own posts (but there really isn't any need, my page is tiny and I don't get any negativity there) but when I brand uses my content on their channels I don't have any control over the comments etc. Most of the time I haven't even looked up the videos intentionally, they're all over my timeline as adverts. I think I need to hide them to be honest.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, I too have gone through very similar.

I’d love to ask for any tips or advice as you’re clearly doing something right - if you’re doing something you love and that can influence people - perhaps for good then that’s amazing :)

@OlympicProcrastinator

I totally understand how you feel. I’ve been in a similar situation and have since chosen to almost entirely remove myself from SM. Never again. I think the internet has really made me see humans in a different light. I grew up without the internet and seeing the utterly disgusting things said online has been shocking to me. Young people grow up with it so maybe it isn’t as shocking to them. What helps me is to imagine what sort of person actually takes time out of their life to deliberately hurt someone else. Life is short and as the time ticks away, some people use their time on earth to be vile. Do I actually care about the opinions of someone like that? If you met those people in real life OP they would no doubt be insignificant to you and you’d steer well clear. People who have been hurt and are angry pass that on to others. It’s their burden, not yours. And remember, for all the nasty comments, there will be so many many more people who like your stuff but just don’t comment because actually, very few people who view stuff take the time to comment.

You sound great. Don’t read any more comments

In so sorry that happened to you! I've honestly been so close to stepping away multiple times but ultimately it's my hobby as much as anything else and gives me something that's just 'mine' away from being a mum/wife etc. I really don't want to give it up. I just need to be thick skinned I guess.

@Arabelladrinkstea

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, I too have gone through very similar.

I’d love to ask for any tips or advice as you’re clearly doing something right - if you’re doing something you love and that can influence people - perhaps for good then that’s amazing :)

If I could help at all I absolutely would! I'm 100% not an expert by any means and still learning all the time. What kind of industry is it you're in? For me it's beauty (not sure if I've mentioned that yet) but I think a lot of social media/dealing with brands is probably interchangeable.