To think taking out the bins should be DH’s job!

[WaningFlame]

It’s always left to me as he won’t do them. Like tonight. I’ve just had to take them out as it’s late and he is going to do them ‘in a minute’! It creates noise wheeling them round from the back out to the end of the drive and we have close neighbours. Also pushing down the last bag and lugging the heavy food waste bin.

He works long hours but he’d have to do household stuff if he lived on his own right? I’m a SAHM and studying to go back to work but do every bloody thing else. We have older DC who could do it but I have to ask them 10 times and they don’t do it (wonder where they get that from) and I cbarsed to shout at them.

AIBU to think DH can have one regular task! He knows I shouldn’t be carrying or pulling heavy stuff as I have a prolapse after 5 DC and a dodgy back.

He was laying on the sofa and when I glared at him through the lounge window he fucking waved at me!

WIBU to LTB?

What do your kids do around the house?

YANBU
You need to have serious conversation about household division of tasks. It should not be assumed you have to do everything

YABU. Get your kids to do it.

Stop doing everything.
Call family meeting and assign duties. Tell them you’re not their servant/skivvy and they have to pitch in.
Refusal/avoidance should be met with withdrawal of services.
Disgrace the lot of them.

When he gets home from work don't let him in til he's took the bin out. Sorted.

You need to be arsed to get the lazy kids to pull their weight. I'd rather use my energy on lecturing about the importance of helping out when you live with other people than doing everything. Sort them out.

Yabu about saying that particular task is a man's job but not unreasonable to expect him to do some jobs around the house.

Your children could easily make this small contribution.

Next time tell them that you will only do laundry/ make lunch that week etc for the person who takes the bins out. And stick to that. With your medical history you need to be careful.

It can be heavy job it’s not asking much that it’s one job someone bigger and strong and without a prolapse to do. The classic I do
It now wears thin. Tell him recovery time from surgery from more damage will take more than a 5min job from him which would he prefer?

@RedHelenB

Yabu about saying that particular task is a man's job but not unreasonable to expect him to do some jobs around the house.

She didn't say it should be a man's job she said she shouldn't be doing it due to a prolapse and bad back. Quite different.

Put your DH in the bin maybe the kids too. Live happily ever after

DC don’t do much TBF as I give up asking and they’re out at different times (part time jobs or out with friends so it’s difficult to get them to do set chores) and DH thinks he shouldn’t have to do anything as they can do it.

I tell him just because the DC are older. doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to do anything.

That’s the issue, they see him not doing anything and think it’s all on me! He shouts at them occasionally but nothing changes.

I didn’t sign up to be the household skivvy when I stopped working to bring up DC though!

Stop being a martyr

Don't ask them, tell them. You're making a rod for your own back by being so weak-willed.

I did every single thing when the children were growing up, a proper martyr I was! I thought it would be easier to do it myself rather than keep reminding. This resulted in 3 very messy young adults. Thankfully 2 have changed their ways and like their own homes to be tidy. I so wish I'd drawn up a rota!!

If the kids are old enough to have a job and go out with their friends they can do chores
Of course they won't do it if you're going to do it.
Stop doing their washing etc. When they've run out of clothes the penny might drop.
If my husband waved at me from the couch while I struggled with the bin he'd never hear the last of it and I don't have a reason not to take the bin out!

Thanks op, I'd forgotten it was bin day tomorrow. For no good reason at all this is my job too.

Christ OP don't ask your working husband to do anything in the home on mn you will be controlling and lazy.

You have medical issues and your lazy partner is still not jumping to stop you hurting yourself?!

That would make me seriously question the relationship.

To me it sounds as if he has become totally complacent and can't be arsed. Leaving him might be the easier option. But if not, then you need a serious conversation - you're going to seriously hurt yourself with this.