To think my 2.10 year old doesn't need to be in nursery

[SatisfyMySoul19]

Hi everyone
I'm a single mum of 2 lovely kids. My girl is 6y and my son is 2.10y .. I am in the fortunate position where my parents own their own business and I do some admin work for them when the children are in bed, so, work isn't an issue just now.
My daughter is in school and thriving there, all great .. My little boy has a speech and language delay (very common for the boys in our family) and possibly showing signs of ASD. He's absolutely fantastic and I love the bones of him. I've been working with him intensively at home and he's come along so, so much in the past few months. He is now able to point, imitate nursery rhyme actions, follow simple commands and is even starting to say a few words! I'm thrilled. I've basically been giving him lots of 1 on 1 time, lots of time outdoors as I believe it is very beneficial to little ones, s structured routine, involving him in things I do along with taking him to mum and tot groups and the park for social interaction.
However, my son is entitled to the 15 free hours for 2 year olds and I've felt pressure from all angles to enrol him because of his speech delay. He started this week and does seem to enjoy playing with the toys but doesn't seem overly happy there. They say he cries quite a lot and I'm struggling to understand what he's getting from it when he's making huge improvements with me at home and we socialise a lot. I would like to start him at 3.5, like I did with my daughter. In my eyes, 2.10 is still very young.
I'm getting lots of crap for wanting to pull him out, that he needs to be in a setting because of his speech, etc etc.
AIBU to want to follow my mother's instinct, pull my boy out for a year and continue with our little adventures and helping him progress?

I don't think he needs to be in nursery to help his speech delay / ASD but there are other professionals that he might need access to when you are thinking about school starting etc. You can do all these referrals yourself - speech and language, paediatrician if you choose to assess for ASD etc. A nursery SENCO can help with this but are by no means essential. You can also contact your local children's centre for support if you have one.

I sent my ds who couldn’t talk at 2 to preschool (where I am the Preschool’s all take from 2 and only work school hours during term time) a few mornings a week. It really helped but they had high staff ratios, were attached to a primary school with all the support that brings. There was no way I would have sent him to a private nursery. So if you have got an amazing preschool or school nursery I would take him out of nursery.

One thing that stood out to me is that he has only been there a week. This is totally normal for the first week settling in so don’t let that be your guide to take him out.
A SALT would suggest nursery to support a speech delay and IMO it’s a good thing to have a social toddler who can be independent from you at nursery. 15 hours really isn’t much.
I have an almost 3 year old who has benefitted so much from being in nursery, she has picked up so much there and loves being with other children. Maybe it’s not for everyone but I don’t think you have given it enough time to really see the benefits

They are little for such a short time and you sound like a very supportive mum. Take him out of nursery and follow your instincts.
I never sent either of mine at all, and they had no trouble settling anywhere when they were older, we socialised loads and they were perfectly at home in all sorts of settings.

No of course he doesn't need to be there. You're an experienced mum with the perspective gained by already having an older child and doing all the right things with him 1-1. The gains made at nursery at this age generally apply to kids who aren't getting quite so much from home for whatever reason. And anyway, I have no doubt he'd catch up.
However, I do agree a week isn't likely to be long enough to settle a child. But in this case, there probably is no need for the disruption at all.

I also wonder if some of the pressure to send him to nursery for those hours is to ensure you get a break? You don’t sound like you need it to be honest there is a lovely enthusiasm from your post about your days. However to me your days sound like my days off work and I do enjoy that I get a balance of time at home with my 2yo and at work. Is there something you could do for you during this time?

A high quality setting will benefit most children and a week isn’t very long to decide. But equally he isn’t likely to be harmed by waiting until he is preschool age as he has such a supportive mum.
I’m sure you have looked into it already but the SLC charity ICAN has some great parent led resources to support his speech.

It's totally how you feel.
My DS is August born, I originally didn't want to send him to nursery as I was at home with his younger brother anyway and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. His severe speech delay was flagged up at his 2 year developmental review with the health visitor, every professional he has saw since then from the paediatrician to the speech therapist all recommended he went to the school nursery to help with his speech.
I was trying really hard with him at home with reading, flash cards, interacting with him constantly and he was learning but was very slow.
He started nursery at 3 years and 1 month old and has thrived continuously since then.
I didnt think he could progress as fast as he did since he's started.
The nursery also helped him get his EHCP so that now he's in reception he has the help he needs to continue his learning. They also speak to his paediatrician in order to keep them informed of his progress and his delays and is helping with a possible diagnosis.
My son hasn't had any trouble being upset or leaving me which does make the situation different. I will say in the end I sent DS to nursery because I thought it would be what was best for him rather than what was best for me.

My dd went to playschool and screamed for weeks when she started school.
My DS stayed home with me. He was brilliant when starting school and at 10 is a clever and kind boy. Seriously if you don't want to send your child then don't!

He needs to learn how to socialise, he has only had a week.
He will have loads if access to services and school may help push towards an assessment earlier.
In order to get an assessment you must have evidence from two areas, like school and home.
Give him a chance.
Mum to HF ASD and Severely Disabled Boy with Severe ASD....

My ds was dx with autism at 2.4 . He started nursery just before he turned 3 and socially it was a really good thing for him

You know best mum! In terms of his speech and language development, he will be getting FAR more out of his individual time with you. There is a lot of background noise at nurseries which can be stressful and disorientating for them and impede speech development. When he’s with you, he knows he is being heard and you will be continually repeating and interpreting back to him all the words he is trying to formulate. This kind of focus is invaluable. A nursery teacher can’t do this as she doesn’t know him the way you do. Take him out of all the noise - plenty of time for that at school!

Thanks everyone I've read all the comments and taken views in to consideration but think the best thing at the moment is for my son to be at home with me. Xx