To think this is a non issue?

[umgeruehrte]

DS is 8, I've been with DP for 4 years and we now have a 6 month old together.

DS1 and DP have a good relationship, DS1 sees his dad once a month.

DP posted a picture of DS1 on his private Facebook account (only has close friends and family) a few months ago, but ex said he didn't want DP posting pictures of his son so DP removed it.

The other day, he posted a picture of DS1 and DS2, and again ex has messaged saying DP needs to remove it.

AIBU In thinking this isn't an issue?

Many mothers would be unhappy at their ex's partner posting pics of their kids. Applying the same standards, I can understand why he might be unhappy about it.

What have you and your ex agreed about either of you sharing photos of your DS on social media? If you haven’t agreed anything, you need to have that discussion now and be on the same page (and both happy) with the decision. And as he gets older and more aware of the concept of privacy, that’s a conversation to have with DS, as well.

I don’t think it’s a “non issue” if your DS’s dad has genuine concerns that your DP’s friends and family - people he doesn’t know or trust - could share the photos more widely. Once the photos are on social media you’ve no control over where they go and you’d be surprised how many people thought only their friends and family had been able to see photos, later realise they’ve been shared far more widely.

Whatever ex's motives ( however spiteful you may guess they might be) he has every right to ask another adult not to post pictures of his child. Like it or not, it's wrong to breach his right to privacy for his child.

How is your ex seeing what your partner is posting on social media?

Have you both agreed to not post pictures online?

If its a private fb account how can your ex see it? Don't say either of you are friends with ex on fb?

Is he objecting on safeguarding grounds (and his view on that is just as valid as yours) or is it due to a feeling of it being inappropriate as its HIS DS? If the latter, its understandable but potentially solvable if you have a good coparenting relationship. The photo of the children together is fine, they are siblings, nothing to do with the dad. Whether he likes it or not, your dp lives with his son 29 nights a month and is a significant person in your DS life. The four of you are a family. If his objection is just pique or hurt pride, he needs to get over himself, but if its genuine safeguarding concerns re social media, that's fair enough really. I'm not mad keen on my ex and the ow posting 'family' pics of my kids but it's fb, the people who matter know the score so I don't get worked up about it.