My dad is in the final stages of lung disease. I’ve always had a very strained relationship with him due to his infidelity and financial incontinence during my childhood but I’ve maintained a polite relationship with him as I’m his only relative and I’d feel guilty cutting him off.
Now he’s dying he’s looking to me for all practical and emotional support. He’s alone now, as since DM divorced him he’s only dated married women.
Dad won’t accept help despite me spending hours setting things up, never takes doctors’ advice and has been hospitalised several times as a result.
This weekend he came to stay with us and refused to follow doctor’s instructions despite having been told three weeks ago that he was at high risk of a heart attack. Net result was that he had a heart attack on Sunday, which has seriously upset my 4yo DS. Even the paramedic told Dad “there’s a thin line between independence and stupidity”.
I’m at the end of my tether.
There have been several occasions when Dad has nearly collapsed in front of DS because he believes in “always pushing” his limits and I’ve had to make snap decisions between whether to look after Dad or DS (DS every time…) Talking to him is impossible as he either brushes me off or gets nasty - my lifetime experience with him. I don’t want to cut him off as I would feel terrible, but he’s having a serious impact on my mental health. I’m six months pregnant with DC2 and feel I need to keep him as much at arm’s length as possible. Rant, sorry, but really needed to get it off my chest.