to think he can't have it both ways? (weight related)

[StarryEyedSue]

DP and I love to eat and drink together, good food, wine, really enjoy it. But these lovely feasts are making me put on the pounds.

He has NEVER said anything about my weight. Our sex life is good, but I can just tell he finds me less attractive when I am, well, rounder. And my confidence is lower.

So then I say I am dieting and don't want an extra glass of wine or delicious pasta dinner tonight. But then he looks sad and I feel boring...

AIBU to say it's impossible to be slim and a foodie?!?

@EmeraldShamrock

You can do both with an intensive exercise regime otherwise no not really. Has he put on weight too.

He is a runner and is slim! I exercise sometimes but it doesn't seem to make much difference

I’m another slim foodie. You just need to balance it out over the entirety of what you’re eating. I live cooking healthy , delicious food. I like a nice glass of wine too, but I’m happy to stop at one or two and only drink rarely.

I have tbis issue. I love food and eating out and wine but I also love being slim and the health benefits of it.
So I do 5:2 and low carb whenever I'm not doing any activities involving food. Its a pain, I'd love to also eat my favourite foods at home, but it works.

Diet and excerise Monday to friday and have what you want at the weekend?

Did I write this?
The only thing I would say is that it probably is just your feelings projecting. I'm sure he loves you skinny or curvy!!
Me and dh are the same, absolutely love food and wine (which is why the slimline g+t argument never works for me)
I just try and run and swim and be good in the week to counteract it. It is boring as he is so motivated, gets up before dawn every day to workout etc! I'd rather sleep until my alarm thanks

I'm slim and a foodie. I maintain it by intermittent fasting - I never eat breakfast. Lunch is something healthy and protein based. Dinner whatever I fancy. Try to keep wine to 3-4 nights a week. I also keep super processed foods to a minimum. I also walk about 8000 brisk steps a day and strength train 3 times a week.

I’m slim and an absolute foodie

It’s all about portion size.

Same here. Use a smaller wine glass and dinner plate.

It's all about portion size. You can eat whatever he eats but you are not a man and you don't run (by the sounds of it) so you should have a smaller portion.

Yeah, you can like food and be slim. You can eat big meals and be slim. You just can’t eat all day and be slim.

I don’t think that’s what you’re asking though. You want to eat to please you boyfriend and you want to be a certain shape to please your boyfriend. What do you want apart from pleasing your partner? Do you want to have a big meal sometimes and eat less other times? Do you want to eat healthily? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to eat loads? I hate people telling me what to eat and if my boyfriend regularly commented on my food intake it would be a problem.

DH and I are big foodies too, and love good wines and cocktails. I've stayed an 8-10 all these years just by keeping off the starchy carbs as much as possible - no pasta, bread, potatoes etc. Bit of rice with Asian meals but not a lot.

And I avoid humdrum sweet stuff like biscuits, jam etc on an ordinary day though will have a square or two of dark chocolate in the evening (Im a bit of sweet tooth!). That way I can treat myself to delicious puddings and cakes from time to time.

So yes, it's possible to eat a lot of good food and stay slim!!!

[quote Daisy829]@billy1966 I love your strategy of drink wine don’t eat chocolate. That would be my priority too.[/quote]
Not my strategy, it is that of my close friend who has maintained a great figure.

She won't touch sugar except for alcohol aka wine.

No process food either.

Portion control is huge as well.

I definitely prefer wine to chocolate......any day😁

I'm skinny-fat with a high metabolism which helps, size 8-10. I eat whatever I want including cake and choc most days but don't have huge portions at meal times and try not to drink more than 1-2 times a week. I try to have smaller lunches too during the week.

Making delicious food that's also healthy and not hugely calorific is actually a great challenge, if you love cooking and eating.

@Latenightpharma

I'm pretty into food as a hobby and weigh about 60kg at 5'7'', but I think that might be largely genetic. Though I am sometimes a little shocked at the amount of food people can eat. I think I eat on average 1700 - 1900 kcal a day, which, unless you are eating only chocolate and cheese, is a pretty substantial amount of food. If I was going for a fancy four course meal at a restaurant, I probably wouldn't eat a whole lot of lunch, as I simply wouldn't be able to stuff my face in the evening otherwise. On a day I'd have a McDonald's, I might eat like this:

Morning: peanut butter sandwich and water (370 ish calories)

Lunch: small spag bol with cheese and coke zero (about 500 calories)

Dinner: large quarter pounder with cheese meal and coke zero (964 calories)

That's about 1800 calories. I don't eat McDonald's every day, but I eat out a lot and don't exactly have a healthy diet, but there's only so much food I can eat. I don't really care for snacks and all of my drinks calories are from booze, I might drink about half a bottle of wine a week, or sometimes more if I'm at a party. I'm active about 4 - 5 hours a week. I do love chocolate desserts though.

I often see people's diets on here and it's either super measured and meticulously balanced/planned, or the poster is talking about being overweight, so I thought I'd offer up something else. My diet isn't good, but it's not making me fat either.

Definite proof that everyone processes food differently - if i regularly ate that much I would be 10-ton-tessie :D

This is me too. I'll low carb all week but damned if I'm not having a glass of Sauvignon (which is allowed on keto probably not 3 big glasses though )
I'm still a size 10, probably would fit into an 8 but I work out so am quite bulky on top) :)

You can absolutely be a foodie and slim. Just takes some tweaking of one's lifestyle.

Im a foodie and slim. I have some dinners where I pig out and eat what I want. Others where I hold back, knowing that I don't want to gain weight.

It's all fun and games until the weight becomes a problem. You get diabetes, or other health related issues. Then you'll instantly regret over-consuming.

The key is balance. Have some treats but also realise that it doesn't need to be every meal. Know how to hold back. Same goes for him. Even if he's not gaining weight, drinking wine regularly and eating whatever he wants (if not healthy) isn't going to be good for him long term

Take responsibility for yourself. What you eat and drink is your business not his.

@FreeBritnee

What he wants you to do is only eat with him and fast the rest of the time.

You do n’t know that.